I find there's a divide, however, between those that value choice. At least from interactions I first had when I joined the forums.
That is, some value choice from the stand point of "I can choose to drive the narrative in a direction that I like." Whereas I prefer choice to be having to make decisions within the game and accepting the consequences of those decisions. My evaluation is done in game, so the idea of "choosing" a choice that appear to be an ostensibly poor one isn't really a choice for me, even though the game affords me the opportunity.
When I spoke of "intentionally failing for the sake of a better story" earlier, I meant making decisions you, as the player, know to have a less than optimal outcome, either by metaknowledge or storytelling logic. I did *not* mean making decisions that appear to be bad by in-world logic. That would make your character stupid anyway, and I don't play stupid.
With respect to a game's ending, the reality is that it's going to be very difficult to give people an ending that everyone will enjoy. The biggest issue I have with the "work hard for it" happy ending is that a lot of the times, it simply means "play the game in its entirety" (ME2 almost fits this, if not for the fact that characters can die based on the decisions you make on the suicide mission). That said, I think that having an ending where the suicide mission can be achieved without anyone dying isn't as interesting of an ending as it could have been. It'd be like being able to save Ashley and Kaidan.
That's not going to be a problem if there is no way to see how to achieve that "perfect" option by in-world/in-character logic. All that's required is to make a non-standard outcome here or there, one that goes against standard storytelling conventions such as "good always comes from acting good".
Endings that make me think and feel emotion (as long as its within the context of the game and my character) are powerful and the endings that I tend to love. PST and The Walking Dead are two of my favourite endings. Fallout 1 also had an amazing ending.
I appreciate endings that make me think. Deus Ex (1) was very good in that, as was PST and Fallout1. The thing is, however, none of those games left you without hope for your character if you chose to play them that way. There was always some way to you to imagine that there's another story, somewhere, somewhen. I didn't always chose those options, but I find it very important that they exist, because I feel that I should have agency enough in a roleplaying game to make such an outcome possible. An ending with no hope for the protagonist I will never like, but in a book I can accept it, because there can only be one ending and I'm not forced into complicity in bringing in about. The same situation in an RPG makes me rather rebellious against the writers, because I feel I should have at least agency enough to avoid the feeling that I'm forced into complicity in bringing about my own doom. Unless it's a noir story, but then you usually know that from the start, which makes all the difference.