Mass Effect 3's ending was not a problem because of sadness, realism, or darkness. It was a problem because the ending was mismatched with the series. It felt like it was trying to be a high-minded, pretentious science fiction novel instead of the third installment to the Mass Effect series. It did not do justice to the characters or to the setting. It treated homogenization as the highest ideal in a series that was previously about the precious beauty of diversity--which was imperiled by the Reapers, pitting diversity against destruction of diversity. Much like the Garrus romance in ME2, the ending of ME3 misidentified the signals it had sent, and what the end user wanted.
No, we did not romance Garrus for the hawt alien hookup. We romanced him because of the voice actor and the character's adorable sweetness, the latter of which was very important, but became nothing more than weird random awkwardness after a whole lot of calibration. It felt more like a sleazy afterthought and was totally unbecoming of either character, making most of us feel they didn't get FemShep.
And no, we did not play ME3 because we wanted the Prometheus of video games. We wanted something that would do justice to the other two beloved titles. For whatever reason--I won't speculate--it was not delivered. But it came over as a harsh slap in the face to anyone who values diversity and the friendships between species.
That is the real reason it was not well received, not because we "needed more time to say goodbye to our stories". And deep down, I think even a lot of players who desperately tried to convince themselves otherwise still felt unsatisfied and unfulfilled in the end (albeit less so due to the DLC).
Personally, though, I can't imagine going back to Mass Effect as a series now. I know it was a tall order... but damn. If they'd not held so hard to the party line and had admitted they made some mistakes among their triumphs, just said "there was a tremendous amount of pressure for a blockbuster ending to a beloved series. While we feel we reached that goal, and would say that most agree, we're sorry to hear that our most passionate science fiction fans felt we didn't quite fill the very tall order of fulfilling all their hopes for a fully thematically appropriate closure. We would like to do some data-gathering... what were you hoping for that you didn't feel was delivered?" I could have at least kept my goodwill. Opening an honest dialogue like that, really thinking about how to stick with their vision while still satisfying the deepest concerns of their most loyal and longtime fans would've let me readily forgive them.
Their consistent and stubborn refusal to appropriately represent and address the unfulfilled desires of their customer base, however, broke my faith in that team completely. My opinion is that they essentially bullied us through the media in a highly passive-aggressive fashion and made anyone who leveled legitimate complaints out to be a screaming, hair-tearing fringe lunatic. I don't know what happened--I only know that it was not at all handled in a way that puts out fires and increases brand loyalty.
The whole situation reminded me of the managers I've worked under who resolutely turned a blind eye to important issues for which they were later fired for ignoring. Tunnel vision work processes and a lack of respect for those under you do end up being noticeable to the customer, however long it may take to occur. They will bite you where it counts. Making the loyal consumer feel betrayed is seldom, if ever, a wise decision. Speaking for myself, no more of my dollars will go to Mass Effect products unless my concerns are--however belatedly--addressed, which I do not in any way expect to happen and would never hold my breath for. It's just about my personal integrity; acting in a way that allows me to respect myself. Even if Obama and all my relatives buy the next Mass Effect game, I will hold to my principles--and it will not be hard after what I experienced.
However, Dragon Age is still good in my eyes. I know they tried with DA2, I am personally convinced they were rushed, and I think they learned some important things from the feedback they got. At least the DA series has never betrayed its own themes or universe plotwise, whatever mistakes they might've made under duress. At least I have always felt the team was enthusiastic, delighted about being able to do their jobs, and interested in delivering an amazing experience. I believe the intentions were always positive--that the series fell once is not a dealbreaker for me.
We can learn a lot from our missteps. The result of that learning can be incredible, which DAI certainly looks to be. I was going to be cautious and not preorder, but my gut tells me I don't have to be after all. I still trust this team.