214 réponses à ce sujet

[Freedheart]

Turns out this is all just a fevered dream of Varric's after he got ahold of some brown dwarven ale at Dragonstock...

[Oohforf]

Sandal is a desire demon that has been preying on Bodhans wish for a child for years.

 

I would literally cry

[Zombie_Alexis]

Every time I read this thread title I think of this scene from Buffy:

 

[themikefest]

To solve the mage-templar conflict the Inquisitor has to find a mysterious sorcerer that provides a mysterious potion that will solve the conflict. He tells you to climb the highest mountain in Thedas to release the potion. The fumes will travel all throughout the land and when everyone inhales the fumes, all will become part mage and part templar.

[frylock23]

You play the entire game only to find out in the last scenes that everything you've done is merely an illusion. You're being trolled by a desire demon who is trying to turn you into an abomination before the Templars come to make you tranquil, and you've really been a filthy, beaten, tortured mage prisoner barely hanging onto the last shreds of your sanity all this time and harboring delusions of grandeur about your desire to save and remake and change the world for the better .... So, in the very end, do you succumb to the demon or go be made tranquil? You have to decide as the Templars come to drag you off.

[SurelyForth]

You defeat the villain and almost have the Rift closed when Leliana and Cullen suddenly begin to glow- their bodies have been taken over by the spirits of Andraste and the Maker. In a cutscene, they kill the Inquisitor and all of her followers and then have an admittedly moving vow renewal while standing in the pile of bodies.

 

The epilogue is just a slide show of their honeymoon tour of Thedas, complete with risque photos censored with goofy pictures of Schmooples dressed like various members of the Inquisition.

[LilyasAvalon]

Solas is actually Felassan from The Masked Empire.

[Altima Darkspells]

Flemeth is behind the fade rift(s), and her motivations this entire time have been simplistic and flat.

And Vivienne is really a man.

And no matter what you do, the Templars are right, the elves get freed, and no one pays for any sort of wrongdoings whatsoever.

[RedFire]

Plot Twist: Sandal's voice actor hasn't recorded any lines for the game because you are Sandal!

[Orian Tabris]

Dragon Age is actually a bi-product of The Witcher series. Geralt is the Maker, and Andraste died so that he could add a dead religious chick to his list of "SIuts I've Slept With Because Plot". The Inquisitor was ordered by Fen'Harel - whom had been blessed by red lyrium - to close the Fade and stop Geralt the Maker (re: Witcher) from raping Andraste, but s/he tripped on a lyrium vein, fell over and got amnesia.

[Aimi]

Val Royeaux gets submerged in an ocean of killer shrimp. Then, the Inquisition is attacked by a giant exploding Red Templar spoon.

[Killdren88]

Dragon Age is actually a bi-product of The Witcher series. Geralt is the Maker, and Andraste died so that he could add a dead religious chick to his list of "SIuts I've Slept With Because Plot". The Inquisitor was ordered by Fen'Harel - whom had been blessed by red lyrium - to close the Fade and stop Geralt the Maker (re: Witcher) from raping Andraste, but s/he tripped on a lyrium vein, fell over and got amnesia.

 

I knew people bared no love for The Witcher here, but damn....

[DiscoGhost]

the inquisitor was indoctrinated.....

 

 

REAPERS!

[Orian Tabris]

I knew people bared no love for The Witcher here, but damn....

 

I honestly don't hate TW, I just thought it would p!ss people off if it happened. Plus, I wanted to make fun of it. The only video games I actually hate are Guitar Hero and Call of Duty. Stupid, stupid games.

[SomeoneStoleMyName]

Any deus ex machina or other "I-Win" super-cheap plot devices. Like in ME3:

"The rapers are comming!"

"Dont worry, we just happened to find plans for a machine that will stop the reapers on Mars"

[InfinitePaths]

Your actions cause the next blight.

[Grand Admiral Cheesecake]

Everyone except Mister Green was the killer.

 

The entire Inquisition is arrested by the police for killing a scholar earlier in the game.

 

Varric shaved all his chest hair.

 

Leliana, Tallis, and Anders all show up, Anders blows up another chantry while Leliana miraculously comes back to life every five minutes and Tallis constantly escapes without you able to get a word in edge wise.

 

It turns out you cannot in fact ride the bull.

 

The Dalish get to be the specialist of snowflakes and everyone loves them no matter what.

 

Edit: Not only is the whole game a work of Varric's fanfiction at the end Cassandra being true to form stabs the book and throws it in the fire. The game then uninstalls and bids you good day.

[InfinitePaths]

 

 

Varric shaved all his chest hair.

 

 

 

Maker, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Eudaemonium]

We are possessed by Justice/Vengeance.

Thus allowing a male American inquisitor to be simultaneously Anders *and* Zevran.

[Morty Smith]

"When darkspawn do darkspawn things, are they at war?"

[Navasha]

The last scene of the game is written as a musical complete with full song and dance number for the cast.

[ClassicBox]

The last scene of the game is written as a musical complete with full song and dance number for the cast.

That wouldn't be a stupid twist. That would the most glorious ending to ever exist!

[DuckTheSecond]

After dealing with the Fade rifts, the Darkspawn taint suddenly starts spreading rapidly. All forms of government disappear to be replaced by martial law.

 

The Inquisitor finds a little girl who appears to have some sort of immunity to the taint. He is tasked with bringing her to the Grey Wardens so they can get a cure out of researching her. Finally they arrive at a hospital with Grey Wardens. They tell the Inquisitor that the only way to get a clean vaccine for the taint is to remove it from the little girl's brain. The Inquisitor, having built an incredible father/mother - daughter bond with the girl, flies into a bloody rage and rescues the girl from the surgery table. Having slaughtered everyone, he setts of with her to a small settlement of survivors of the taint.

 

When the girl wakes she asks the Inquisitor what happened. He lies to her and says the wardens had already researched other immune people and that they couldn't procure a vaccine from it, so they quit looking for it alltogether. THE END

 

Now that would totally suck balls.

 

 

...

 

Ah, who am I kidding. I'd love that ending.

[LonewandererD]

The Inquisitor has to die or immediately disappears after closing the rift. Though given Bioware's habit of making past protagonist disappear this isn't that unlikely

 

-D-

[frylock23]

Just before you manage to close the last Fade Rift a man with a chainsaw hand is sucked through. He will then be the protagonist of the next game in the series: Dragon Age: Evil Dead. Oh and Bruce Campbell absolutely will be doing the voice work.