when they move on from attacking guards to looting houses and such, then yes, they have brought the rule of law down upon themselves. No one deserves to exist at the whim of those in power, but violence is not the best tool for achieving it.
And when elves play nice but humans and local law enforcement attack them anyway, they're supposed to just sit there and take it?
Humans frequently attack, provoke, and drive elves to desperation while law enforcement either helps or looks on, yet they always bring the violence completely on themselves.
Yes it is paternalistic because the elves don't have a lot of other options. They can't effectively militarize because they lack weapons, training, infrastructure to support a war, and their centers of population are within human cities, armed revolt won't work in the long run.
And it's not like any of these situations can change. It's not like given time, opportunity and resources they can learn to militarize, gain weapons, train in fighting, move their centers of population outside human cities, create their own infrastructure, learn to govern and defend themselves so they don't have to rely on humans to do it for them, etc. NOPE. Their current skills, knowledge, resources and situation is cast in stone. It's completely permanent and will always be as it is now, so the only option is to keep treating them like helpless children at the mercy of an abusive and unpredictable parents.
Paternalism is so peculiar to me. It advocates subjugating a person or people "for their own good" because "they don't have the knowledge/resources to govern themselves" ... but the very reason they don't have the knowledge/resources to govern themselves is because of the aforementioned subjugation. It's like keeping a bird in a cage on the excuse that "it can't fly," but the reason it can't fly because there's no room in the cage. Rather than letting it out and letting it learn/extend it's wings, they keep it in the cage on account of lack of flight. Elves largely don't yet know how to collectively govern or defend themselves because humans have forcibly prevented them for centuries, therefore elves should just keep accepting human government and law enforcement over them instead of humans backing off and letting them learn how to manage themselves.