The bandits' hoard was ample, more coin that Beldin had seen in his life, in fact. His portion was smaller, naturally, but it was still significant, more than he could have earned in a month at the garrison.
"Is this mine," he asked. "To do with as I see fit?"
None of the others protested, so he scooped his share into a small canvas sack, adjusted his axe in his belt, and walked out into the night.
After leaving Tarl's house, Beldin went to the poorest house in Vintiver, a rundown shack behind the Arbor. The place tilted slightly, as if it were about to collapse, and most of the planks that covered it were rotten or gone. Endless lines of washing hung from sagging ropes behind the structure, suggesting that its occupant took in washing to make ends meet. The lit lantern by the door and the rushlight in the window suggested that such deliveries were often made after dark. The scattered bottles lying amid the weeds suggested that those visitors might not always be sober.
He knocked on the door and a tow-haired teenage boy opened it.
"You'll want to see mum, I s'pose," the boy said scornfully after looking him over from boots to crown.
"Aye, if you'd be kind enough to bring her," Beldin replied.
"You can come inside," the boy said. "She's... asleep... but she'll wake if you've got coin in your pockets."
Beldin hesitated, then said, "I'd rather speak with her out here, if it's all the same to her. I would not wake her, except that I'm likely to be gone in the morning, and I wouldn't want to leave without giving her something."
"More likely the other way around," the boy snorted bitterly, but he retreated into the house, closing the door behind him. A short time later, a much-bedraggled woman appeared at the door. Brandy fumes rolled off her, along with the acrid stench of an unwashed body. She took one look at Beldin and slapped his face hard enough for his head to move.
"You!" she screamed at him, her voice harsh with rage and with spirits. "How dare you come back here? I should have you run out of town! I should... I should..."
Her voice trailed off.
"The gods are unkind," she said. "I'm ruined, and there you stand, young and beautiful, as if time hadn't touched you at all."
"Time doesn't stand still for anyone, madam," Beldin said. "Not even for my father, who's been dead these eight years."
"Your father?" she sneered. "Is that who you are, then? Some lordling from the manor house come to gloat over his sire's leavings?"
He held the sack out to her.
"I came to give you this," he said. "I can't undo the harm my father caused any more than I can give you back the life you would have had if you'd never met him, but maybe I can provide for my brother. You both deserve a better future than this."
"I don't want your pity," she said, taking the sack from his hand, "but I'll take your coin all the same. I'm not too proud for charity, but don't stand around waiting for thanks."
"Andraste guide you, ma'am," he said, "and Maker keep you safe."
Tessa rounded the side of one building to see Beldin knocking on a door. The lantern outside told her all she needed to know and she very nearly turned right back around. She felt a sharp and bitter disappointment in the pit of her gut. She’d truly thought Beldin better than this and on a whim she decided she’d wait-the kind of man who’d visit this kind of woman never took very long anyway-because she now had some things to say to Lord Beldin Adley.
She watched the proceedings with narrowed eyes, and when the woman came out, she swallowed a wave of nausea because the sight of that bedraggled woman brought up the memory of smells and feelings she’d always associate with certain parts of her life. Quickly, though, Tess saw that Beldin didn’t have any intention of going in.
Curiosity got the better of her when the woman smacked his face so she continued to watch the proceedings, at least partially to make sure he didn’t fall down on the woman’s doorstep, until the woman shut the door, then she ducked back around the corner and waited for Beldin to pass by.
As he walked past, Tessa moved into step with him.
“When you left, I wondered if someone could actually die from stupidity. Do you know them, then?”
"Tessa!" Beldin exclaimed, anxiously looking over his shoulder. The woman's door was clearly visible. "I... er... you may have a point. I did not expect anyone to be out so late. And I don't know them, not really."
He sighed. No matter how much she saw, she would think he was visiting a prostitute. And he was, but not for the reason she thought.
Tessa raised a brow at this, but said nothing.
"Look," he said, "it isn't quite what you think. You were in the courtroom when I said my name, and you know what that means. My father was a wealthy, influential man, and he was very... affectionate."
Tessa scoffed at this. Affection, he says. “That’s a very pretty way to put that, Beldin. So, what are you saying?”
"He ruined honest girls and defrocked affirmed sisters," Beldin answered, his cheeks burning in shame. "But he was my father."
Tessa stopped,touching Beldin’s sleeve to stop him and frowned, crossing her arms. She knew what it was to be ashamed of one’s parent. “So the boy...is…” She had no idea how to ask that delicately.
"The boy is my half-brother," Beldin finished for her. "He doesn't know."
Tess had wondered, sometimes, if birthing her had damaged something in her mother at the same time she thanked the Maker she didn’t have any siblings.. She felt some sympathy for Beldin, though. He had no more control over his father’s actions than she ever had over her mother’s. She looked back at the shack, then at Beldin, unable to fully hide the bitterness she felt. “She’s just going to drink that, you know.”
"I know," he sighed. "But I can't in good conscience revel in my own wealth while my brother's sleeping on a straw mat, can I? I had to give it to her, but I've got no right to tell her how to spend it."
Beldin seemed a decent man, and Tess was glad she’d been wrong. But he also didn’t really understand what life was like for this half brother of his. “I understand why you had to do it, Beldin, I do. I….but it won’t really change his life at all. Trust me, I know this story.”
He had been gazing out over the road while he spoke, but he turned to look at her, his head tilted. It was a hard thing, not to pry. She seemed to be inviting him to ask, but he did not want to presume.
"Look, Tessa, I don't want to force a confidence, but..."
What a stupid thing to say. Of course he did not want to do that! He might as well tell her that he intended to interrogate her at knifepoint!
Tessa raised one brow. “Good, because you cannot force me to confide something I don’t want to. Did you get a good look at your half-brother, Beldin?”
Well, Tess, that’s one way to be more aggressive than you need. Good job.
"Aye," Beldin said. "He runs deliveries from the winery during the day. I've spoken to him a few times, but he doesn't know me from Arl Eamon."
Tessa nodded slowly and looked up at Beldin, well, not at him exactly, but at something just over his shoulder. “Good. Maybe he’ll be able to do something with his life. I know something of what his life must be like. “ She looked at his face then and sighed. “I grew up him.”
She looked down at her boots. Well, it’s only fair, really. She knew his deepest secret now, they all did.
He looked at his boots, too. As much as he wanted to say something sympathetic, he couldn't. Doing so would imply that there was something wrong with her, and that was obviously not the case. So he settled for being practical.
"What should I have done?" he asked softly.
Tessa sighed again and hunched her shoulders in something not quite a shrug.
“I don’t know. Someone gave me a sword. And showed me how to use it. I don’t know if that would work for everyone.’ She looked at Beldin. “I...maybe I should just have said that I’m sorry we sometimes have to clean up after our parents. What you did was well meant.”
"I'm glad you think so," he said, smiling crookedly. "I'm not sure I made it any easier for his mother, though. I... resemble my father very strongly, unfortunately. No wonder she was upset."
His face grew more serious, but his eyes remained fixed on hers.
"Look, I know this isn't easy to talk about," he said. "I value your candor. If you want to talk, I'll listen, and I'll keep what I hear to myself, but if you don't, I understand."
Tessa quirked a slight smile. “I appreciate that, Beldin, and I do hope you know the same invitation applies to you.” She hesitated then went on. “I’m glad, though, that I was wrong about why you went there.” She smirked. “I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know what I was thinking.”
His hearty chuckle turned into a hearty cough as it irritated his still-tender... everything, but he grinned at her through slightly watering eyes.
"After the night it's been, I'm lucky I can raise my eyebrows," he said. "Not that I'd inflict that kind of custom on anybody. But I understand why you might think otherwise. We haven't known each other all that long, and I was keeping secrets from you for a good deal of it. That won't happen again."
Tessa flashed a quick grin at his jest before answering him. “Beldin, I think everyone has a few secrets, and I think that sometimes there is room for that.” She faltered as if she were trying to phrase something. “You can keep a few secrets, if you’ll give me honesty instead, you know? I’d rather say to you, or you say to me ‘I don’t want to say right now.’ than for either of us to tell the other what we think they want to hear.”
His smile did not fade.
"I think I can safely promise to never say anything to you just because I think you want to hear it," he said, "and while I don't claim to be an expert, I don't really expect that from you, either. I'm just glad... I'm just glad to hear you say that."
Tess smiled as she nodded at Beldin and stepped out of the shadow, gesturing for him to follow. “We should probably head back. And I don’t feel a need to tell anyone where you went tonight.” A thought struck her, and she hoped that he would not see her blush. “Although...because I am a fool who followed you out of worry that’d you’d fall over in the street, the rest may think…Maker’s Breath.” She didn’t know whether to laugh or not.
Beldin stepped out of the shadow behind her, vainly trying to suppress the shiver of pleasure that shot through his chest at the thought that she might actually value his friendship enough to be worried at all.
"They'd think I should be so lucky," he said quietly.
Tessa stopped when he said that, trying to get the smile on her face into some semblance of neutrality before she turned back to wait for him to walk beside her back to Tarl’s place.
~~~~~~~~~
By the time they got back to Tarl Dale’s, Tessa could tell that Beldin was down to sheer muscle memory. He’d stopped talking at all and was obviously just putting one foot in front of the other. ‘Maker, this man.’ Tess thought as she sort of guided him toward his room because she wasn’t at all sure he’d get there on his own.
She opened the door and he stumbled in ahead of her. She debated pulling the covers down so she could cover him, but decided he wouldn’t notice in any case, so she carefully guided him to the bed and said, “In you go, Beldin.”
Tess wasn’t sure if he complied to her request or just fell into the bed, but either way he was horizontal. With a soft look down at his sleeping form, she pulled his boots off, set them neatly beside the bed and left to find her own sleep.
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