299 réponses à ce sujet

[Nefla]

That honestly sounds like sexism more than anything else. Women are pushed harder to get married and settle down (men are too, but I would argue that it's to a lesser extent).

Well if it's sexism it's mainly coming from other women and it's about being stupid/naïve/ "what's wrong with you?" for not wanting to have sex outside marriage. The "right" way is to "test drive" all the men you can.

[Samahl]

I'm an asexual, moderately attractive woman. I'm inured to the insult "prude" these days.
That being said... being called names is certainly not as damaging as what other sexual minorities put up with, so I generally hold my peace.

 

Asexual people have to deal with some pretty big problems of their own, like corrective rape.

[Samahl]

Well if it's sexism it's mainly coming from other women and it's about being stupid/naïve/ "what's wrong with you?" for not wanting to have sex outside marriage. The "right" way is to "test drive" all the men you can.

 

That's... interesting. Either way, I'd say the criticism is unwarranted, and your friends should leave you alone about it. Sorry you have to deal with that.

[oceanicsurvivor]

It is however something that has gotten me mocked, harassed, bullied, and made people try to alter me to their way of life because of how "wrong" I am. Even someone I consider a friend had constantly tried to get me to "have 8 boyfriends at once "  and all of that was as an adult, this wasn't some teenage hazing thing.

 

Our societies weird fixation on the sexual element of a relationship plus the bizarre and irrational society wide misconception that we have any right to tell others what to do with their bodies combine in so many ways to such predictably $**** results.   I'm very sorry to hear you've had to deal with that.

[dreamgazer]

Marriage and Sexuality in Dragon Age.

 

Can of worms.  

[Nefla]

I'm an asexual, moderately attractive woman. I'm inured to the insult "prude" these days.
That being said... being called names is certainly not as damaging as what other sexual minorities put up with, so I generally hold my peace.

I'm not saying it is, I'm saying it's not sunshine and roses.

[Enigmatick]

Would I even be wrong at this point to tell you all to take it to tumblr?

[Sir George Parr]

Introducing marriage into this franchise would be a bad idea. Nothing kills the sense of adventure like marriage.

 

Bioware already has enough trouble with their games being labelled "dating sims". Let's keep the happily ever after in the realm of head-cannon.

 

Although I might agree to this feature if it advanced the plot like the DAO city-elf origin. You get married, you lose your spouse in a horrific George RR Martin style wedding. 

I personally didn't find that it killed the sense of adventure in Skyrim.

[Knight_47K]

You know, if bioware does end up giving you a marriage, in the next scene, they will kill off not only yours but your bride's family as well. Leaving you alone (again) to bring retribution.

 

Thats how they roll. I dont think Bioware like happy endings, atleast not for the players .

[Samahl]

Would I even be wrong at this point to tell you all to take it to tumblr?

 

If you're displeased with the topic at hand, perhaps you should stop reading this thread.

[oceanicsurvivor]

Would I even be wrong at this point to tell you all to take it to tumblr?

Yes. While I don't know how much deviance from the OP this thread will allow tumblr is not the only place people are allowed to talk about these issues.

[Puppy Love]

Waiting for marriage is perfectly acceptable.  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

 

The big concern I think is that, not every marriage works out and you might end up saving yourself and waiting a long time for someone who in the end didn't deserve something so pure and special.  Because of this a lot of people see it as naive and a waste, we're all very... darn it my mind has completely lost the word I wanted to use... 

 

Point being I hope it works out exactly as it should for you, live the dream, make it a reality, if the worst should happen, it happens, but don't let anyone elses pessimism and negativity prevent you from going for it.  If no one tries for anything special and pure by default they've given up any chance of ever getting it.

 

Just because they, I and others gave up on the concept doesn't mean you should, nor does it make you any less for doing so.  If anything it makes you brave and a true dreamer.

[Rel Fexive]

Loving the comparison of swingers to people who have sex with things that can't give consent.

 

No such comparisons were made.

 

To whom, stupid mechanics?

 

....Yes?

[Enigmatick]

If you're displeased with the topic at hand, perhaps you should stop reading this thread.

This thread isn't about the topic in the OP anymore.

[Lady Nuggins]

Eh, let's get back to the topic at hand for the sake of the OP.  Whether or not people who want to wait for marriage face discrimination or are a majority isn't really the issue.  The issue is simply that it's a feature that some people want. 

 

To be clear, I don't actually need (or necessarily even want) to marry my LI in the game.  I'm perfectly happy with the "I don't know what the future holds but let's enjoy what we have in the moment" scenario.  But I don't think it's a ridiculous request, and I think there are ways they could implement it that would be interesting and appropriate to the setting.

 

More interesting to me are the challenges that this would present.

 

- Religion and being forced to convert, as I already brought up.

- If added, it would likely need to be instead of another romance scene due to limited resources.  So what gets sacrificed?  Do you switch it out for the sex scene?  What about people who wanted both? 

- Who gets the marriage scenes and who doesn't?  If you offer it to only one LI because it's part of their character that they really really want to get married, then inevitably there will be cries of "so only straight women/gay men/etc. get a wedding and the rest of us don't matter?"

- But then everyone who is most definitely against marriage will see any forced marriage ceremony as an affront as well.  At least without marriage in-game, it can be imagined or implied that your character and LI get married somewhere down the road.  With a marriage in-game, there's no take-backsies.

[oceanicsurvivor]

Eh, let's get back to the topic at hand for the sake of the OP.  Whether or not people who want to wait for marriage face discrimination or are a majority isn't really the issue.  The issue is simply that it's a feature that some people want. 

 

To be clear, I don't actually need (or necessarily even want) to marry my LI in the game.  I'm perfectly happy with the "I don't know what the future holds but let's enjoy what we have in the moment" scenario.  But I don't think it's a ridiculous request, and I think there are ways they could implement it that would be interesting and appropriate to the setting.

 

More interesting to me are the challenges that this would present.

 

- Religion and being forced to convert, as I already brought up.

- If added, it would likely need to be instead of another romance scene due to limited resources.  So what gets sacrificed?  Do you switch it out for the sex scene?  What about people who wanted both? 

- Who gets the marriage scenes and who doesn't?  If you offer it to only one LI because it's part of their character that they really really want to get married, then inevitably there will be cries of "so only straight women/gay men/etc." get a wedding and the rest of us don't matter?

- But then everyone who is most definitely against marriage will see any forced marriage ceremony as an affront as well.  At least without marriage in-game, it can be imagined or implied that your character and LI get married somewhere down the road.  With a marriage in-game, there's no take-backsies.

 

While I loathe the idea of framing bisexuality as a game mechanic, if the love interest was bisexual then no PC who wished to enjoy that storyline would be alienated for their actual orientation. If the game had the same/similar number of romance options as this game has, then having one that you can choose which culminates in a marriage seems fairly acceptable to me? Its not like we are lacking for choices this time around, and given how unique this story and relationship could potentially be, I think that if it was done well I would have no problem with that being the only ending to that subplot.

[Samahl]

This thread isn't about the topic in the OP anymore.

 

People are discussing whether or not it's worth it to implement marriage as an option. I don't see how it's not on topic.

[Puppy Love]

While I loathe the idea of framing bisexuality as a game mechanic, if the love interest was bisexual then no PC who wished to enjoy that storyline would be alienated for their actual orientation. If the game had the same/similar number of romance options as this game has, then having one that you can choose which culminates in a marriage seems fairly acceptable to me? Its not like we are lacking for choices this time around, and given how unique this story and relationship could potentially be, I think that if it was done well I would have no problem with that being the only ending to that subplot.

 

Actually for that to work you need two characters actually.  You need a male bisexual and a female bisexual.  Otherwise you're alienating either gay men, or gay women that want to get married.

[oceanicsurvivor]

Actually for that to work you need two characters actually.  You need a male bisexual and a female bisexual.  Otherwise you're alienating either gay men, or gay women that want to get married.

Ha, very true. I might need sleep

[Rel Fexive]

Eh, let's get back to the topic at hand for the sake of the OP.  Whether or not people who want to wait for marriage face discrimination or are a majority isn't really the issue.  The issue is simply that it's a feature that some people want. 

 

To be clear, I don't actually need (or necessarily even want) to marry my LI in the game.  I'm perfectly happy with the "I don't know what the future holds but let's enjoy what we have in the moment" scenario.  But I don't think it's a ridiculous request, and I think there are ways they could implement it that would be interesting and appropriate to the setting.

 

More interesting to me are the challenges that this would present.

 

- Religion and being forced to convert, as I already brought up.

- If added, it would likely need to be instead of another romance scene due to limited resources.  So what gets sacrificed?  Do you switch it out for the sex scene?  What about people who wanted both? 

- Who gets the marriage scenes and who doesn't?  If you offer it to only one LI because it's part of their character that they really really want to get married, then inevitably there will be cries of "so only straight women/gay men/etc." get a wedding and the rest of us don't matter?

- But then everyone who is most definitely against marriage will see any forced marriage ceremony as an affront as well.  At least without marriage in-game, it can be imagined or implied that your character and LI get married somewhere down the road.  With a marriage in-game, there's no take-backsies.

 

It seems likely that the thorny path beset with such questions is the main reason the games haven't gone down this road yet.  It does have the potential to be really complicated and even more divisive than the orientations of the LIs have been so far.

 

If they provided marriage cinematics and sex cinematics for the same hypothetical character, I can easily imagine you could get both if that was what the player wanted.  They could also have "accepted" weddings and "outsider" weddings (alternatively, "Chantry" and "unofficial") but there lies the path to problems - who gets to decide which is which?  I guess it's already partly defined in the lore, but there would still be complaints.

 

I'm sure ME3 had a "locked-in" flag for romances which meant they couldn't be changed after a certain point - a marriage could have the same effect.

[Lady Nuggins]

While I loathe the idea of framing bisexuality as a game mechanic, if the love interest was bisexual then no PC who wished to enjoy that storyline would be alienated for their actual orientation. If the game had the same/similar number of romance options as this game has, then having one that you can choose which culminates in a marriage seems fairly acceptable to me? Its not like we are lacking for choices this time around, and given how unique this story and relationship could potentially be, I think that if it was done well I would have no problem with that being the only ending to that subplot.

 

Not if it's only one LI, though.  If it's a bi male, then only people attracted to men would get the wedding scene, leaving out straight men and lesbians, for instance.

 

If more than one LI had a wedding, though, would that seem to cheapen that romance track?  If ultimately it led you to the same ceremony, with your LI switched out for someone else?

[Rel Fexive]

Different ceremonies, perhaps?  A Chantry wedding for one, a, uh, Dalish handfasting-type-thing for another?

[oceanicsurvivor]

Not if it's only one LI, though.  If it's a bi male, then only people attracted to men would get the wedding scene, leaving out straight men and lesbians, for instance.

 

If more than one LI had a wedding, though, would that seem to cheapen that romance track?  If ultimately it led you to the same ceremony, with your LI switched out for someone else?

 

Yes, distracted response, I'm very sorry. If it was a bisexual love interest, everyone would not be able to experience it, but, it would at least confirm that same-sex marriage was available and celebrated in Thedas. So even if the LI who was available to marry was a guy, meaning I never personally would play through that story arc, it would still be significant because of what it would represent. It would validate countless head canons, and launch a thousand new fanfics. It would be significant even if in game it could not be fully inclusive.

 

And I do think that personally I would rather see one love interest, with a dedicated, personalized journey to the alter as opposed to making it interchangeable? But that is purely my personal preference.

[Lady Nuggins]

Yes, distracted response, I'm very sorry. If it was a bisexual love interest, everyone would not be able to experience it, but, it would at least confirm that same-sex marriage was available and celebrated in Thedas. So even if the LI who was available to marry was a guy, meaning I never personally would play through that story arc, it would still be significant because of what it would represent. It would validate countless head canons, and launch a thousand new fanfics. It would be significant even if in game it could not be fully inclusive.

 

And I do think that personally I would rather see one love interest, with a dedicated, personalized journey to the alter as opposed to making it interchangeable? But that is purely my personal preference.

 

No worries, it happens.  I figured it was just a slip-up.  

 

I would like to see personalized journeys too, which is why I think it's an interesting idea.  Not every romance needs to follow the same formula.

 

If they provided marriage cinematics and sex cinematics for the same hypothetical character, I can easily imagine you could get both if that was what the player wanted.  They could also have "accepted" weddings and "outsider" weddings (alternatively, "Chantry" and "unofficial") but there lies the path to problems - who gets to decide which is which?  I guess it's already partly defined in the lore, but there would still be complaints.

 

But if a particular LI had both a cinematic for marriage and for sex, would that particular LI have a "bonus" that no other one gets?  And if the player has the option to choose what kind of marriage ceremony they get, that's even more potential cinematics to select from.  Suddenly we have several branching options that all lead to extra cinematics for just one character.