131 réponses à ce sujet

[Marksmad is waving goodbye]

In another thread, in response to this, I made this post, imagining what the Reapers are saying in their own forum:

 

"I swear, he was so far from me, there was NO WAY he was gonna touch me with that thing, and then next thing I know I'm on fire and staggered and before I can dodge back I'm down! Cheating Geth scum!"

 

I could/should have added "Geth Trooper is OP, Biovar pls nerf!"

 

You probably all have your own tortured and twisted imaginings of what the enemy factions are saying about us and the game. So, let's hear them.

[FasterThanFTL]

Cannibal: Num num num num num

[SackedJedi]

"I just arrived in the area with a few buddies to take a nice stroll. Next thing I know, a missile was upon us. Why... why?"

 

Edit:

 

"I swear there was only 1 enemy from wave 5 on... Suddenly, there were 4 in wave 11 with missiles flying EVERYWHERE!"

[Rosemyrtle]

"So they can shoot us, but we cant shoot them? Biovar pls"
Praetorian: dw guys i got me drill some drill rounds x

[codsquallic]

Marauder - "Tip for beating these mooks: wait for them to drop - get up close with some buddies - people's elbow - profit."

[FullSpe3D]

Marauders probably complain that their shield gate isn't working when a Phasic sniper 1 shots them.

[Dalakaar]

"F**king wallhax." Cannibals.

 

"Hey guys, I figured out a new exploit. BioVar said it's legit. I call it, Buttlazers. I posted it on Reaptube." The Praetorian.

 

"What Do You Name Your Turret?" Cerberus Combat Engineer.

 

"MMMMMMMRRRRRAAAWWWGGGHHHHAAAAAGGGHHHHHHhhhhhhh" Banshee.

 

"How to Make New Friends; A Platinum Guide" A suspiciously friendly Brute talking to a Prime and a Phantom.

 

"Why Do Playstation Users Hate Us?" Collectors.

 

"Those Enemy Social Networkers you play with" The same suspiciously friendly Brute.

 

"Describe your last pug in one word" That damned friendly Brute yet again. Talkative chap.

 

"I discovered how everything in the game works" Anticyonan the Husk.

 

"IntruderOne's latest Platinum solo" IntruderOne

 

"The EME3 MP Resource Library" Dragonspeeder the particularly articulate Banshee

 

Kay, nuff. Fer now...

[Fortack]

"Wasup with all the violence and cruelty these days? Shooting unarmed civilians who only want to spread love and happiness is wrong. I only want to hug and give all of you a sweet wet kiss."

 

An upset and lonely Husk Hippie

[Quarian Master Race]

"Please Biovar remove the god damn Juggernaut grab immunity!!" :every sync kill unit

"WHAT THE ****": level 8 Cerberus dragoon who doesn't know what sabotage is and got killed by friendly fire from a hacked atlas

"Your preferred method of neutralizing creator scum": GethtimusPrime1337

[Dalakaar]

Moar...

 

"I can't believe these guys keep missiling us" Swarmer

 

"Smash Cancel, You Can Do Eeet" Dragoon.

 

"Your favourite sync kill, No Primes Allowed. Post Pics!" Phantom.

 

"TEHY KILED BOB!!!!11!!!!1!" One Very Sad Abomination.

 

"Volus Rolling Down a Hill." The Laughing Collector Captain.

 

"That Jiggle. The Quarian Bum Bum. With Pics!" Envious Nemesis.

 

"Never Play on FBW/Gold" Frustrated Geth Pyro.

 

"Never Play on Rio/Platinum" Frustrated Ravager.

 

"Why We're Going To Lose: An Essay on RHA." Disgruntled Prime.

 

"Singing in the Rain." The Dancing Scion. (His favourite map is Ghost Hazard)

 

"ToTired4Name's Complete Guide to Killing Volus" ToTired4Name The Volus Hugging Self Detonating Possessed Abomination.

 

"Why'd They Get a Hex Shield?" Geth Prime pondering his Juggernaut counterpart.

 

 

[crashsuit]

"This one loves when there's just enough lag to get off two or three rockets instead of one."

[RustyBuckets02]

Topic: why is it some enemies can't even solo a Geth juggernaut

TrooperNG:
I've had it with pick up spawns. I've just played a wave that was going well, I even took down and executed a player awesomely, because I'm so awesome. But then I got taken out, and there was just a juggernaut left. Our last few troopers were useless, they just milled around taking pot shots! One of them had a raptor but was firing single shots! Of course, they all got taken down and the game didn't wipe. Grr. These enemies should stick to early waves.

Theshadycombatengineer:
If you're so awesome, why were you in spectator mode?

TrooperNG:
I... Uh... Got synch killed by a Volus.

The techno centurion:
Wtf? Volus can't even melee.

B00g1eCannib4l:

Lololololololololol

TrooperNG:

Stfu guys, I was only trolling anyway

[Quarian Master Race]

Topic: why is it some enemies can't even solo a Geth juggernaut

TrooperNG:
I've had it with pick up spawns. I've just played a wave that was going well, I even took down and executed a player awesomely, because I'm so awesome. But then I got taken out, and there was just a juggernaut left. Our last few troopers were useless, they just milled around taking pot shots! One of them had a raptor but was firing single shots! Of course, they all got taken down and the game didn't wipe. Grr. These enemies should stick to early waves.

Theshadycombatengineer:
If you're so awesome, why were you in spectator mode?

TrooperNG:
I... Uh... Got synch killed by a Volus.

The techno centurion:
Wtf? Volus can't even melee.

B00g1eCannib4l:

Lololololololololol

TrooperNG:

Stfu guys, I was only trolling anyway

XD love the names. We could do an entire thread conversation using enemy versions of ourselves

[robarcool]

A thread exactly like this was made in the forum a while back. I think it probably got locked, or got forgotten.

[Melee or Die]

Assuming control:
Harby One_Three_Three_Seven's guide to Possesion stance.

Cerberus operatives:
"Why hasn't BioWare released the Harrier for us yet?!"

[TheShadyEngineer]

Topic: why is it some enemies can't even solo a Geth juggernaut

TrooperNG:
I've had it with pick up spawns. I've just played a wave that was going well, I even took down and executed a player awesomely, because I'm so awesome. But then I got taken out, and there was just a juggernaut left. Our last few troopers were useless, they just milled around taking pot shots! One of them had a raptor but was firing single shots! Of course, they all got taken down and the game didn't wipe. Grr. These enemies should stick to early waves.

Theshadycombatengineer:
If you're so awesome, why were you in spectator mode?

TrooperNG:
I... Uh... Got synch killed by a Volus.

The techno centurion:
Wtf? Volus can't even melee.

B00g1eCannib4l:

Lololololololololol

TrooperNG:

Stfu guys, I was only trolling anyway

I unliked this just so I could like it again. 10/10 would bang. I literally laughed out loud because that's actually something I would hypothetically say. 

[JGDD]

Topic: "Spawning - How to Survive the KroSol's Inferno Grenade Spamming"

 

Marauder Shields replied,

 

"My elbow flailing only seems to fan the flames and make it worse. Anyone found a way to get through this nonsense yet?"

[Marksmad is waving goodbye]

A thread exactly like this was made in the forum a while back. I think it probably got locked, or got forgotten.

 

Yes, but if you revive a thread that's been idle for more than a week, alarms go off at Biovar HQ™ and a mod appears within 25 seconds to lock the thread. So, new thread. Besides, there's new material here, a lot of it pure gold. (Rusty gets a special honorable mention for the recognisable personalities.     )

[Tonymac]

Rocket trooper's guide to the triple tap; They've got missiles?  Well, so do we.  A guide by Rocket Trooper "Eye D Ten T" (i-D-10-t)

 

Prime L33t's guide to stun locking, have drone and turret, will travel - a simple guide for beginners.

 

Geth Pyros guide to the proper build - "This unit does not have a soul", go with Tactical Cloak, they'll never know what hit roasted them.

 

Geth Unit id10t talking to buddies, "Why don;t we have an infiltrator platform like that?!  Its just not fair!"

 

One Banshee to another : "I can't believe they nerfed the Magnet Hands build!  Biovar pls!

 

All enemy factions :  "Mr. Fagnan, can you please enable us to use the button on the Reactor Hazard Map?  Your cooperation thus far has been most satisfactory.  We look forward to your continued support.  V/R, Cerberus HQ, Reaper Central Command (AKA St4rk1d), The Geth Collective, and the Collecter consensus.

[Marksmad is waving goodbye]

All enemy factions :  "Mr. Fagnan, can you please enable us to use the button on the Reactor Hazard Map?  Your cooperation thus far has been most satisfactory.  We look forward to your continued support.  V/R, Cerberus HQ, Reaper Central Command (AKA St4rk1d), The Geth Collective, and the Collecter consensus.

 

We Alliance troops are so lucky that Biovar didn't have David Vonderhaar in charge instead, he would definitely have acceded to that request already.

[path0geN7]

I wonder if they have a thread like " A single Geth Pryo can't take down an unshielded Juggernaut," followed by lots of arguing amongst the Geth units.

Or a "Behind the Monitor" thread showing Cerberus Operatives in their free time.

Or an "N7 OPERATIVES ARE LAZY" thread

The possibilities are endless

[Dalakaar]

Or a "Behind the Monitor" thread showing Cerberus Operatives in their free time.

Or an "N7 OPERATIVES ARE LAZY" thread

Their "Behind the Monitor" thread is our "CERBERUS IS LAZY" Thread. And vice versa.  >.<

[valsharess24]

"Annoying teammates"
Try killing things as a trooper with some idiot spamming
Flamer Pyro blinding you, a stupid bomber's constant screen shaking, and some scorewhore rocket trooper nuking spawns.

[Mindlog]

"Raptor X Holy Crap! I'm about to mess those bastards up! Widow can one shot them? Are you stupid? A Raptor can kill an Atlas in one cast."

[Excella Gionne]

"Raptor X Holy Crap! I'm about to mess those bastards up! Widow can one shot them? Are you stupid? A Raptor can kill an Atlas in one cast."

I use dinosaurs to do the work.