Of the sibling had remained with Hawke after act 2, it would have been a completely different story what they wanted to tell, so I don't necessarily consider it dropping the ball, but rather wanting them to tell a different story than they did.
As for which sibling survived, in the first act the story they were telling required the siblings to be in different positions. One sibling had to be the one drawing the attention to the family and forcing them to act secretly while the other had to react to that situation. If Hawke isn't a mage, what was Carver supposed to do? Complain about the burden of their dead sister? If Bethany had survived and Hawke was a mage, why would Bethany feel so much guilt about being a burden on their family? Not only would such a choice require them to write completely different narratives, but it would also remove the family dynamic they had planned.
Pretty sure Arishok incident would've gone along just fine with Bethany/Carver in Hawke's party instead of dead/circle/warden. Same with Act 3. Hell at least then Meredith would always be able to actually threaten Hawke instead of the awkward "Why are you threatening me when I'm not a mage and my sibling's warden/dead? And more importantly why do I care?" you get during that scene in some scenarios. If Bethany was always with Hawke act 3 forcing you to run around doing Meredith's street cleaning could've been justified for all Hawkes instead of yet another but thou must situation.
There would be modifications of course but I'm not seeing the main core of the plot being lost seeing as your sibling could've died at the end of act 1 and the game keeps on trucking along. The family dynamic that goes out the window when they die in the deep roads? And shows up for a whooping 2 or three conversations without dlc? Yeah I'm not seeing the strong value over that most of the time invisible family dynamic vs a constant presence (which could show the dynamic anyway ).
You see Circle Bethany a whooping 1 time in act 2. And then again in act 3. You can't even have a decent conversation with her about your mother's death because other crap is going down. Same with Carver.
The warden version you maybe able to see 2 times in act 2 if you played Awakening.
Yay. 2 really short conversations that mostly are a "how are you doing" bit.
The DLC fleshes them out a bit more with the banters yes. But that's DLC.





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