I still want to know what does it mean by if Hawke and Cullen were friends, I chose all pro mage choices and sided with the mages but everytime I talked to Cullen in the gallows we were civil to each other so does that mean my hawke was friends with cullen?
Based on a lot of what I've read this is subjective rather than based on the limited dialog and plot interactions you can have. Unless you are aggressively pro-mage all the time, I guess. I made up my own rules: if Hawke was pro-templar a lot, or you knew you were going to side with Meredith at the end, you were friendly. If Hawke is fanatically pro-mage, then you weren't friendly. A diplomatic personality is more likely to be friendly no matter which side of the mage/templar fence you're on. A sarcastic or aggressive one is less likely to be friendly unless you are playing pro-templar.
But of course that's just me.
Yeah, that one along with Cullen's 'friendship' are currently the most confusing tiles, imo. 'helping' Ignacio by siding with Zev and killing the Crows comes close.
If we only could somehow associate those with real in-game dialogues and\or variables. Like, my Hawke was in love with Anders, she had always supported the mages, they ran away together, but I'd never say that she liked the idea of blowing up innocents. Not even remotely, to be honest. Must be 'disapprove'.
Same for Cullen. She saw him as one of the few more or less reasonable templars, they used to talk. But it's not like she was buying him ale at the Hangman or invited him home to have a friendly dinner. My guess is that falls under 'were friends' as the Keep sees it.
But Anders can be pretty much alive and well without Hawke at his side. I don't see much problems here.
The issue with Anders comes when player needs to figure, that romance section only addresses the active&ongoing romance. Anders has minimum 3 'romance-breaking' plot points I'm aware of. Technically, Hawkes that have not followed him past the Gallows or have not helped him with Justice are out of romance ( which is 'never found\was not looking for love'). I'm not sure about Feynriel's chapter 2 quest (where Hawke has an option to side with a demon) - is it possible to play one after the romance-lock? I think so.
Why? Do you really want to make Cullen the top greatest idiot? A Templar officer is reported about the trouble, he knows where to look and whom to grab. And he does what?... Right, nothing. A great advisor we've got here.... 
To me this is another subjective area. I've never played without him being a companion up to that point, I didn't know you could do that. Anyway, I came up with another set of guidelines for Anders: if he's left Hawke before the end then I don't approve of his actions. If Hawke is not radically pro-mage I do not approve of his actions, it doesn't matter whether Anders is your romance partner or not.
I've actually played a Hawke who warned Cullen there might be trouble. She didn't know there was a bomb in the Chantry. I believe she's more concerned about Elthina's safety. IIRC Cullen says he's heard some rumors and has stationed more templars to guard the Grand-Cleric against assassination and make sure she's secure in the Chantry. He acts based on the information he has and what he thinks is the threat but he and Hawke are both wrong.