nah went straight from enchanter to FE XD
Really i feel like the arc i have is getting similar to anders(like him alot da2 aswell) just dont want to fully copy just inspiration
Ive spent hours on how retribution and i met and how she went from a spirit of forgiveness to a spirit of retribution. Still finishing the details
Tbh i think i went too dark... scared myself a little bit
Nah, not at all. Was a nice read, can always go darker.
Spoiler
Pretty dark fanfic read discretion advised
well monkey i should thank you for your service, but I wont.
I wanted a competent mage not this raging boarderline psychopath you returned to me.
the boy is useless to me in this state. His anger and pride, he's currently bait for any demon and worse, he even summoned one on the estate! still a deal's a deal he can cast, you shall have your payment. but honestly FE I did not expect such...............limited methods from the likes of you. My wife's a healer she looked him over the amount of scar tissue and mended bones....its......disturbing......and they were applied by a rank amateur, no technique just brute force. FE i do not approve of your methods.
worst of all the brat near killed my retainer for talking back to him, If my first sons paramour had not been there to intervene......................... this man has been my personal slave for over 34 years. His value is not measured in dollars he has fought by my side, maintained the property while being away, put down 3 slaves speaking of revolt. and held not a single ounce of vindictiveness when i used him in a blood magic rite.
then the boy had the hide to cast at me when i told him to go to his room without dinner and remain their until i say?............. his power has grown strong but his rage...........I've warded off his room and sent word to the First enchanter of the Qarinus circle he will be here within 3 days with a full compliment of templars. the boy will undergo an emergency harrowing.
If he fails FE monkey i will see you driven back to whatever southern swamp you crawled out of.
Now, now, don't be so upset, you merely need to direct the boy in the right direction. It's not the FE that made him change, only things that are already in can come out. I found myself in Rage, it's warm embrace makes me feel alive and makes my enemies tremble in fear.. and Pride a true virtue of a powerful magister, one must always be confident and strong to achieve all goals and desires. Send the boy on a few thrilling adventures that you might benefit from let him master his rage and pride, he will come back a different person. It is all a familiar path, one for which I will always be grateful.
your in luck just finished. Not as dark but still nice. And told from the view of retribution well here we goSounds juicy. Looking forward to seeing it play out. Nothing wrong with borrowing from Anders, hes an awesome character. My favorite DA2 character in fact.
well monkey i should thank you for your service, but I wont.
I wanted a competent mage not this raging boarderline psychopath you returned to me.
the boy is useless to me in this state. His anger and pride, he's currently bait for any demon and worse, he even summoned one on the estate! still a deal's a deal he can cast, you shall have your payment. but honestly FE I did not expect such...............limited methods from the likes of you. My wife's a healer she looked him over the amount of scar tissue and mended bones....its......disturbing......and they were applied by a rank amateur, no technique just brute force. FE i do not approve of your methods.
worst of all the brat near killed my retainer for talking back to him, If my first sons paramour had not been there to intervene......................... this man has been my personal slave for over 34 years. His value is not measured in dollars he has fought by my side, maintained the property while being away, put down 3 slaves speaking of revolt. and held not a single ounce of vindictiveness when i used him in a blood magic rite.
then the boy had the hide to cast at me when i told him to go to his room without dinner and remain their until i say?............. his power has grown strong but his rage...........I've warded off his room and sent word to the First enchanter of the Qarinus circle he will be here within 3 days with a full compliment of templars. the boy will undergo an emergency harrowing.
If he fails FE monkey i will see you driven back to whatever southern swamp you crawled out of.
* slips a book underneath your magisterium office doors with a note saying "hope this helps with your son lol" *
Ok.. Monkey I have news for you: you are a dreamer!
* disappointed sigh* it would appear i fail forgive me my lord i sought to make him i was trying an experiment to make stronger magi by pushing them Beyond limits i forgot to take into account their weakness. I figured if he died things would be better for you and your house and if he succeded i could revamp the exercise to be less brutal. There are no words to express my regret and sorrow my failure has brought *slams fist into ground and summons servant to whip me a 100x penance*well monkey i should thank you for your service, but I wont.
I wanted a competent mage not this raging boarderline psychopath you returned to me.
the boy is useless to me in this state. His anger and pride, he's currently bait for any demon and worse, he even summoned one on the estate! still a deal's a deal he can cast, you shall have your payment. but honestly FE I did not expect such...............limited methods from the likes of you. My wife's a healer she looked him over the amount of scar tissue and mended bones....its......disturbing......and they were applied by a rank amateur, no technique just brute force. FE i do not approve of your methods.
worst of all the brat near killed my retainer for talking back to him, If my first sons paramour had not been there to intervene......................... this man has been my personal slave for over 34 years. His value is not measured in dollars he has fought by my side, maintained the property while being away, put down 3 slaves speaking of revolt. and held not a single ounce of vindictiveness when i used him in a blood magic rite.
then the boy had the hide to cast at me when i told him to go to his room without dinner and remain their until i say?............. his power has grown strong but his rage...........I've warded off his room and sent word to the First enchanter of the Qarinus circle he will be here within 3 days with a full compliment of templars. the boy will undergo an emergency harrowing.
If he fails FE monkey i will see you driven back to whatever southern swamp you crawled out of.
what?Ok.. Monkey I have news for you: you are a dreamer!
what?
Well normal mages do not visit the fade on a whim without the use of lyrium and a ritual, unless they are asleep, but then the journey is quite random and not always clear.
huh thats a odd coincedence. Didnt consider my rp to be a dreamer i just assumed i bonded with a spirit when i was a kid. Huh.Well normal mages do not visit the fade on a whim without the use of lyrium and a ritual, unless they are asleep, but then the journey is quite random and not always clear.
im open to critisim but i think TS is a bit miffed by the "liberty" i took lol. So comments
huh thats a odd coincedence. Didnt consider my rp to be a dreamer i just assumed i bonded with a spirit when i was a kid. Huh.
So what you guys think of my fanfics
Why is the FE so afraid of TS? Stand your ground!
* exits out character*Why is the FE so afraid of TS? Stand your ground!
What did you think of the stories
I think that they are nice and we should focus on the stories more than on their review. 
true lolI think that they are nice and we should focus on the stories more than on their review.
Brother and sisters i have return from a very important mission in Rivain to visit one of my spies in the qunari settlement of Kont-Aar. He told me that several members of the Ben Hassrath have came though the settlement from Par Vollen looking for Tal-Vashoth and any unleashed Mages they found a few still hiding from the templar's it was a sight for sore eyes he said they collared them and cut off their hands before one turned into a abomination he said it was a sight for sore eyes the ox men run like children the abomination then turned on his friends and killed several people before he was put down the Qunari are trying to keep it under wraps, but i was told their been several new bands of Tal-Vashoth in the area and the people are blaming the qunari for it the stupid ox men are losing followers by the day.So me and my spy went to work and let loose multiple demons in the remote areas around the settlement now lets wait and here the fire works.
I also Bring even better news i went to see one of their famous seers she told me my Future and what i would need to do it so she gave me several mages who needed to be trained but sensed the circle their was Annulled they have no where to go so i bring them with me a few of them are strong and should be worth apprentices but none of them have been through their Harrowing yet so i would wished to have that done quickly so they can begin their training so i will be traveling training them and will put them through the Harrowing when the FE of Qarinus arrives
well monkey i should thank you for your service, but I wont.
I wanted a competent mage not this raging boarderline psychopath you returned to me.
the boy is useless to me in this state. His anger and pride, he's currently bait for any demon and worse, he even summoned one on the estate! still a deal's a deal he can cast, you shall have your payment. but honestly FE I did not expect such...............limited methods from the likes of you. My wife's a healer she looked him over the amount of scar tissue and mended bones....its......disturbing......and they were applied by a rank amateur, no technique just brute force. FE i do not approve of your methods.
worst of all the brat near killed my retainer for talking back to him, If my first sons paramour had not been there to intervene......................... this man has been my personal slave for over 34 years. His value is not measured in dollars he has fought by my side, maintained the property while being away, put down 3 slaves speaking of revolt. and held not a single ounce of vindictiveness when i used him in a blood magic rite.
then the boy had the hide to cast at me when i told him to go to his room without dinner and remain their until i say?............. his power has grown strong but his rage...........I've warded off his room and sent word to the First enchanter of the Qarinus circle he will be here within 3 days with a full compliment of templars. the boy will undergo an emergency harrowing.
If he fails FE monkey i will see you driven back to whatever southern swamp you crawled out of.
TS i apologizes for my brother mistake i have two apprentices i were training myself in Qarinus they will be arriving with the FE sense i was planing on finishing their training here but I would like for you to take them instead for payment for my Brother in law foolish mistake but i do not take threats on my friends and future family likely so if you threatening him you are threatening me *Conjures fire in his hand* Trust me we i am ready
I find your apprentices fitting compensation, If they prove fitting I may adopt one as my son and be rid of this useless excuse for offspring i have.
may i interest you in some wine?
* weakly moves after 100 lashes* no brother this my mistake i must suffer the shame... besides from this "tragedy" we have learned something so this mistake can never happen again this was a prototype exercise one with time can be remodelled.Brother and sisters i have return from a very important mission in Rivain to visit one of my spies in the qunari settlement of Kont-Aar. He told me that several members of the Ben Hassrath have came though the settlement from Par Vollen looking for Tal-Vashoth and any unleashed Mages they found a few still hiding from the templar's it was a sight for sore eyes he said they collared them and cut off their hands before one turned into a abomination he said it was a sight for sore eyes the ox men run like children the abomination then turned on his friends and killed several people before he was put down the Qunari are trying to keep it under wraps, but i was told their been several new bands of Tal-Vashoth in the area and the people are blaming the qunari for it the stupid ox men are losing followers by the day.So me and my spy went to work and let loose multiple demons in the remote areas around the settlement now lets wait and here the fire works.
I also Bring even better news i went to see one of their famous seers she told me my Future and what i would need to do it so she gave me several mages who needed to be trained but sensed the circle their was Annulled they have no where to go so i bring them with me a few of them are strong and should be worth apprentices but none of them have been through their Harrowing yet so i would wished to have that done quickly so they can begin their training so i will be traveling training them and will put them through the Harrowing when the FE of Qarinus arrives
TS i apologizes for my brother mistake i have two apprentices i were training myself in Qarinus they will be arriving with the FE sense i was planing on finishing their training here but I would like for you to take them instead for payment for my Brother in law foolish mistake but i do not take threats on my friends and future family likely so if you threatening him you are threatening me *Conjures fire in his hand* Trust me we i am ready
I find your apprentices fitting compensation, If they prove fitting I may adopt one as my son and be rid of this useless excuse for offspring i have.
may i interest you in some wine?
no thank you i am fine.thank you for accepting them there both skilled in elemental magic but the Female is fascinated in Necromancy and the Boy is into Demonlogy but keep him away from desire demons lets just say his adolescences gets the best of him at times
* weakly moves after 100 lashes* no brother this my mistake i must suffer the shame... besides from this "tragedy" we have learned something so this mistake can never happen again this was a prototype exercise one with time can be remodeled.
ah youthno thank you i am fine.thank you for accepting them there both skilled in elemental magic but the Female is fascinated in Necromancy and the Boy is into Demonlogy but keep him away from desire demons lets just say his adolescences gets the best of him at times
ah youth
yes the innocence of youth i remember when i was his age me and a few of my friends would do um patrol the women dormitory to make sure their umm safe
well monkey i should thank you for your service, but I wont.
I wanted a competent mage not this raging boarderline psychopath you returned to me.
the boy is useless to me in this state. His anger and pride, he's currently bait for any demon and worse, he even summoned one on the estate! still a deal's a deal he can cast, you shall have your payment. but honestly FE I did not expect such...............limited methods from the likes of you. My wife's a healer she looked him over the amount of scar tissue and mended bones....its......disturbing......and they were applied by a rank amateur, no technique just brute force. FE i do not approve of your methods.
worst of all the brat near killed my retainer for talking back to him, If my first sons paramour had not been there to intervene......................... this man has been my personal slave for over 34 years. His value is not measured in dollars he has fought by my side, maintained the property while being away, put down 3 slaves speaking of revolt. and held not a single ounce of vindictiveness when i used him in a blood magic rite.
then the boy had the hide to cast at me when i told him to go to his room without dinner and remain their until i say?............. his power has grown strong but his rage...........I've warded off his room and sent word to the First enchanter of the Qarinus circle he will be here within 3 days with a full compliment of templars. the boy will undergo an emergency harrowing.
If he fails FE monkey i will see you driven back to whatever southern swamp you crawled out of.
Before you do this is there a way to focus his rage? I´m talking about specific target like the oxmen or darkspawn. I´m planning on going with my team to Deep Roads in our search of the Old Gods. My entourage is quite large. I have 15 apprentices out of 10 who are plain combat mages, two summoners and three healers. Besides these I have 100 footsoldiers and 30 archers and 20 slaves handling supplies. According to these maps I have aquired it will take about two weeks to reach our destination, and that is just to confirm one way or another. There won´t be any women on this trip though if he has a taste for them *smiles*. I will not add any more to the horde of the darkspawn should I fail and perish underground.
* exits out character*
i was just teasing incase newbie came and saw "fight" lol. I actually appreciate his input. Yeah it was dark and what my storyboard was going for but i couldve had the FE show a bit more of him and not retribution. I felt that retribution isnt just a voice in his head its apart of him and is the "side that does what needs to be done ethical or otherwise" the FE is a monster trying to be human still kinda like doctor hyde and jeykll. Imo opinion i think it couldve been better but im reasonably satifised with it.
What did you think of the stories
They are good, I also try to move on my RP characters story at the side.
Why is the FE so afraid of TS? Stand your ground!
Out of character. Makes sense for a FE to be weary of a magister, since they're the ones that control the templars and have power over the circles. Last thing a high ranking bureaucrat wants to do is get dragged before a senate sub-committee and put on the firing line. Especially in Tevinter, where said line can very well involve actual fire... not to mention possible blood magic, torture and/or daemons.
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