Hey guys,
I'm totally new to this community. I actually don't know if I'm in the right place for this, but if not here, then where? I just finished all 3 ME games for the first time in a row over the last weeks and I really don't know what to say. It was the most profound gaming experience in a long time. I was so immersed in that world, all those virtual people grew to my heart in a way I never felt before when playing a game, and I play a lot of games. But this series swept me off my feet. Totally. My friends say I shouldn't let a game get to my heart this way, but I just love to really dive in. And I mean isn't this what gaming is about? Have I gone to deep this time?
I finished ME3 saturday night and I feel emtpy since. I'm still thinking about everything I did the last weeks. It felt so real and organic, like coming home from work and actually going to Narnia through the warderobe. Taking care of your crew, talking to them whenever possible, checking if they had something to say or needed my help. I didn't even feel like work or duty. When I was out with friends or at work I was already excited if they had something new to say when I come home and continued.
I feel like I have lost something. Nothing else is fun right now. I tried Alien Isolation today, and then after 10 minutes one of the characters had the german dub of Sheperd and here I am again, thinking about and grieving over a virtual character like it was a real person. And even more grieving about my Kaidan who must stay alone now. I had a gay relationship and I think it was really great and not cheesy in any way.
Because I'm totally late for the whole series, I got all the Singleplayer DLC right from the start. I read a lot when to play Citadel and chose to do it right before Cerberus HQ and I think it fits perfectly in that spot. I know a lot of people complained about partying in a time of war, but as we experience everyday right here on this earth, life goes on and we play games while in other countries a war is going on. It's human nature to not constantly think about everything bad. And especially from the point of view that everyone knew that this could be their last moments together, I thought it fit even more perfectly. Maybe I'm lucky because I could choose when to play it, I think when I got it a year after the game ended it wouldn't have been the same experience.
In the finale, I decided for the synthesis ending because I thought it would fit best for "my" Shepards way of life (full paragon). I'm still ok with that ending because everyone else could live in peace from now on.I also checked the other endings out, especially the destruction ending with him breathing - I'm teary eyed even thinking about it. I cried like a baby when the old man speaks to the child in the epilouge. Another story about Shepard? Shut up and take my money! But since I read that ME4 will have no connection I'm simply sad because this great journey is over now.
It also shows that making games is an art, even if the mainstram media still wants it to stay in a greasy corner. I mean, when something can touch you so deeply, how couldn't it be art? The music, the scenery, the characters. Everything. For me that is perfection, even with some things that could have been better, you cannot serve everyone.
As I said, I don't know if I'm in the right place. I just wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with you guys and maybe some of you experienced the same. I don't know what I'm looking for, maybe some comfort. Maybe I just needed to write all that off my heart so I can begin to let go, even though I know that I can't right now.
Thanks for listening!
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