Why the romance limitations in DAI are a GOOD thing.
I know there have been numerous posts about romance options in DA (all games), ranging from overjoyed to angry, but I have yet to see anyone post about the positive aspect of limiting the romance options. This is a rather long post, but hopefully worth it.
DAO was the first RPG game I ever really played. A friend loaned it to me when I randomly bought a PS3 to have something fun to do with my younger brother when he visited. After it sat on my TV stand for weeks, I finally put it in one day to check it out…and then sat in front of my TV for weeks playing it. I had no idea what to expect when I started…so I chose female human rogue and went at it.
Having had no prior experience with gaming, I remember very clearly thinking…”Is this Alistair fella…flirting with me?” I had no idea that romances were even an option when I started, so it was so fun and engrossing to watch the shy little templar get cozy with my rebellious Coulsand lass. And it was awesome for me, because I always assumed video games were all hack and slash. I had no idea that you could have a lover, and friends, and rivals, and all that jazz. That is what roleplaying should be! I was so into the whole story…Wynne was like my own mom, Leliana my nutty little sister, and Sten someone I was desperate to get to know and earn his respect. But my romance with Alistair made it all worthwhile. My poor Warden, grieving for her brother and hell bent on revenge, meeting a sweet guy who makes her laugh. Classic love story in the midst of darkspawn and dragons. Whoopee!
When I reached the end, I made him the King. When he broke my warden’s heart, I was…well…heartbroken! Then Morrigan comes in and I think we’ll all get to live after all. And so I stroll across the hall to man who broke my warden’s heart, prepared to use my high coercion score to convince him. I almost did. Then, he looks up at me and says “Is this really what you want me to do….are you sure?” Damn it! Why did they write him so well???
I couldn’t do it. Why? Because my warden loved that guy. Because I was IMMERSED! I sacrificed my warden because the relationship I built up with Alistair made the idea of him doing a dark ritual abhorrent to me. That is the power of the romances in these games. I basically killed my character after over 100 hrs of gameplay because I didn’t want my love interest to think ill of me! THAT is why the romances are awesome! They just…suck you in!
So, with the game over, I decided to play through again as a female Dalish elf. And that’s when the awesomeness died. I know it sounds silly, but when Alistair started loving up on the elf, I was annoyed. And then I realized that Zevran and Leliana were once again becoming interested. It completely spoiled the previous play through. It lost the depth of the gaming experience. I didn’t want Alistair to fall in love with my elven girl…he belonged to Elissa Coulsand (in my eyes). If I had played initially as a female elf, I am sure I would have felt the same bitterness towards him on my second play though as the human noble. It ruined the illusion, I guess. I eventually played as every sex and race combination available. But, my crew had no opinions, no discernment. Leliana and Zevran always hit on me, as would Alistair and Morrigan for their respective sexes. They were there to love the warden, regardless of anything about their history or beliefs or background. It took the roleplaying part out of it…no matter who I was, the same people would still want to be with me. It seemed to cheapen the whole romance experience as well as the individuality of my many wardens. From a roleplaying perspective, it made the origins aspect completely irrelevant. The same cheesy lines, the same responses = romance. Blah.
And DA2 was the worst for this. Anders, Fenris, Isabella…they could give a crap who you were. Fenris loving a mage? Cmon, really? So, I played through that game a couple of times and said…meh…who cares…it is the same game every time.
This little rant leads me to the things I have been hearing about the lack of options, or rather, the restrictions of DAI’s romances. Folks complaining there are not enough bisexual or homosexual or male choices (or any other complaint they can think of). But in my mind, these restrictions will DEEPEN the roleplaying experience tremendously. For whatever sex and race you choose, there will be a DIFFERENT experience (from the romance perspective). I plan all playing, once again, all races and all sexes (because I dearly love the DA world and want to play again and again). But what I am most looking forward to is the very thing that most folks seem to be upset about…the limitations of the romance options.
Why is this a bad thing? It makes perfect sense to me. The preferences of the party are what I think will make this game even more of an amazing experience. Each warden I make will be truly different, with a different kind of romance for me to explore and enjoy as a player. It makes it WORTH the effort of playing through again and again and again! No more Alistair drooling over dwarves and mages and humans and elves with the same dialogue choices. No more feeling like Leliana and Zevran will do whatever with whomever (and please note I am not saying anything against bisexuality. I am talking about the fact that those characters are ALWAYS love interests, which makes it seem completely…UNSPECIAL to whatever origins character I chose to be).
Instead, in DAI, each playthrough gives me only a couple of options to choose from, making it seem more…well…real. For example, here is my prepared lists of playthroughs with my idea for who I will chat up (though they may be modified depending on the other character’s personalities).
Female human mage – Cullen, get ready! I have been waiting for you since Origins.
Female elven mage – Solas, let’s go play in the fade!
Female qunari warrior – Blackwell, I am going to curl your beard!
Female dwarven warrior – Sera, talk dirty to me!
Male dwarven rogue – Scribbles, indeed!
Male human warrior – Cassandra, let’s bump shields!
Male eleven rogue – Ahh Dorian…with a mustache like that, who can resist!
Male qunari rogue – So why do they call you Iron Bull?
I guess overall, what I am trying to say, is that Bioware has not limited our options…they have expanded our options in a totally cool way. If there is a character you really want to romance, then you may have to play another sex or race to do it. Why not? Isn’t that the point of RPG’s? To be someone besides yourself? To see the world from a different perspective. To…well…play??
And in terms of romance in video games, think about how far ahead Bioware is. They have me, a straight woman, EXCITED to play a gay man (because I can’t wait to cuddle up to the maverick mage Dorian). One of the most important points of all fantasy (and science fiction) literature (and by extension RPGS), is to expand our horizons and make us more aware of differences in others. To expand what we think of as “like me”. RPGs are where you get to actually be another kind of person! And to be in an age where I can enjoy expanding my own narrow view of human sexuality, in a way that is fun and entertaining for other reasons, is a really amazing thing.
So..thanks Bioware. Thanks for making your characters have more depth in this new game. Thanks for giving them personality and different tastes and different sexualities. Thanks for giving me another reason to try to play a game as a different sex or different orientation and making it actually meaningful. Thanks for continuing to create this part to your games, despite the controversy.
Oh, and thanks to all of you for reading this terribly long post. I would love to hear your thoughts on this!
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