Excellent idea, OP.
I disliked the heart in DA2 too, and the fact that you had no other choice to initiate the romance than clic at least once on it during one specific conversation in Act2 (I think). If I recall correctly, any flirting prior to that point had no bearing on the romance either. I understand perfectly that we are limited by Bioware narrative and that's fine, but in Origin, you had much more liberty.
If you take the example of Alistair, there were several instances in different conversations that would spark interest from him. Then you could make the first move for the love scene, or wait until he made the first move. I thought that allowed a much more interesting roleplay.
I understand the argument concerning the necessity to lead, but I think it's perfectly believable to have someone with no great people skill being a somewhat hero despite him/herself. The Inquisitor is chosen to lead because of his magical glowing hand, that's his credential (at least I think, I haven't followed every single news so I might be mistaken). I actually played a Warden that was kind of a coward and just wanted out of the Blight alive. And anyway, someone can be a great leader and being completely oblivious when it comes to love. Or respectful sexual interest. 
Obviously it's too late to change anything for Inquisition so I can just hope that for the next game, they'll consider removing the heart or at least make it so you can initiate a romance without it being an absolute requirement.