Wouldn't use such option if it was there, would make the followers and everyone around look kinda daft if they were blindly following an insecure leader.
Wouldn't actually mind completely deferring control to companions in specific cases though, that would be neat.
A person doesn't have to be shy or reticent in public for those qualities to show in their private lives. We're talking about playing as a shy or unsure person when it comes to our love interests and pursuing a romance. As the chosen leader of a growing organization like the Inquisition, it'd be pretty bad if we couldn't act the part.
Here's a personal example: My headcanon for my first Inquisitor (qunari male mage) is that he's a pretty quiet and introverted person, maybe even a little shy. He's been burned by past romantic encounters (if you could call them "romantic," as he's never actually managed to carry one into a relationship), so he doesn't quite trust that anyone would be interested in him for anything more than a simple fling. So when it comes to pursuing romance, he waits for the other person to make a move before throwing himself into the effort. In his case, his thought process is something like, "why bother putting in the effort when all that energy will be for naught."
He's also unsure of his abilities as a leader, but he knows that the Inquisition needs him to be strong, so he puts up a front of self-assurance and confidence. He relies on his advisors, works with Josephine to refine his oratory skills, and gets guidance from Cassandra when he feels it is necessary. On the other hand, battle is one of the few things he is sure of, so he's often an inspiring, if not impressive, sight in the middle of a fight. And eventually, he grows into his position as the Inquisitor, so his need for a confident persona slowly disappears. His romance issues, however, continue to haunt him, meaning he's slower getting over his feat of doing something that will cause his LI (Dorian) to leave him for "someone better," or else feeling like he's worthy of the relationship.
That's what we mean. How much of this we're able to explicitly play in the game, and how much is simply headcanon, is really up in the air. It would just make is easier to play these characters if we're able come at our romances more passively, at least at first.