Sorry, war.
Soldiers kill. Sadly it's what they do. And while they can distance themselves from the enemy (to an extent), they can't distance themselves from their friends and comrades-in-arms. So yes, when a friend dies on the battlefield its 'FEEL'S', but when an enemy does, it's not. If soldiers felt empathy for every single enemy, they would not be able to kill. This is the way every single military conflict works. The death toll has to become abstract for soldiers, and even more so for commanders who don't necessarily even step on the battlefield.
The characters you play in every single ME/KOTOR and DA games are professional soldiers (either by trade like Shepard) or by the necessity. They literally have tokill to survive and learn to distance themselves from empathizing with enemies.
Do I think it's a good thing? No, I'd prefer life with no violence and conflict. But do the games give (semi)-accurate description of the battlefield antics? Yes they do. In DAO you only get to know the point of view of Loghain in detail, and suddenly, he can be sympathized with.
I would think that picking up something like Grim Fandango or some other similar classic would be more towards what you are looking for. But those are really not the games Bioware is known for.
The problem is when soldier don't know when to turn it off. Sure they don't "feel" over time when they kill an enemy, but what happen when they can't get the war out of the soldier?





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