1942 réponses à ce sujet

[Hanako Ikezawa]

Hello Bioware, 

 

I am writing this thread to offer a suggestion I would like to see for future Bioware games. Bioware has been very representative of the various sexualities that exist in the world. From introducing homosexual women characters with Juhani in Knights of the Old Republic, to introducing bisexual characters with Silk Fox and Sky in Jade Empire, to introducing homosexual male characters with Steve Cortez in Mass Effect 3, to introducing pansexual characters with The Iron Bull, and even thinking of possibly introducing an asexual character in a future title. With such an impressive resume for representation, I would like to humbly suggest that in the future Bioware also adds demisexual characters as well. 

 

For those reading this and do not know what demisexuality is, I will post the explanations below: 

 

A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. It's more commonly seen in but by no means confined to romantic relationships. The term demisexual comes from the orientation being "halfway between" sexual and asexual. Nevertheless, this term does not mean that demisexuals have an incomplete or half-sexuality, nor does it mean that sexual attraction without emotional connection is required for a complete sexuality. In general, demisexuals are not sexually attracted to anyone of any gender; however, when a demisexual is emotionally connected to someone else (whether the feelings are romantic love or deep friendship), the demisexual experiences sexual attraction and desire, but only towards the specific partner or partners.

 

When describing demisexuality as an orientation to sexuals, sexuals often mistake it as an admirable choice rather than an innate orientation. Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close relationship is formed.

 

According to one hypothetical model, a person who identifies as a demisexual does not experience primary sexual attraction but does experience secondary sexual attraction. In this model, primary sexual attraction is based on outward qualities such as a person's looks, clothes, or personality while secondary sexual attraction is attraction stemming from a connection, usually romantic, or from status or how closely the person is in relationship to the other.

 

Though factors such as looks and personality do not affect primary sexual attraction for demisexuals (since demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction), such factors may affect romantic attraction, as with any other orientation.

 

Primary vs Secondary Sexual Attraction Model

Spoiler

This hypothetical model of sexuality takes the position that sexual attraction and desire can each be subdivided into "primary" and "secondary" forms:

Primary Sexual Attraction: A sexual attraction to people based on instantly available information (such as their appearance or smell) which may or may not lead to arousal or sexual desire.

Secondary Sexual Attraction: A sexual attraction that develops over time based on a person's relationship and emotional connection with another person.

Primary Sexual Desire: The desire to engage in sexual activity for the purposes of personal pleasure whether physical, emotional, or both.

Secondary Sexual Desire: The desire to engage in sexual activity for the purposes other than personal pleasure, such as the happiness of the other person involved or the conception of children.

One of the strengths of this model is that it clearly distinguishes demisexuals from both sexuals and asexuals. Most sexuals in romantic relationships feel both primary and secondary sexual attraction. The term demisexual, under this model, tends to refer to people who experience only secondary sexual attraction; this attraction can result in primary sexual desire. Since asexuals experience neither primary nor secondary sexual attraction, they cannot experience primary sexual desire. However, since they can experience secondary sexual desire, this model accounts for the sexual behavior of some asexuals.

 

Primary Attraction?

Sexual:Yes

Demisexual:No

Asexual:No

 

Secondary Attraction?

Sexual: Yes

Demisexual: Yes

Asexual: No

 

Primary Desire?

Sexual: Yes

Demisexual: Yes

Asexual: No

 

Secondary Desire?

Sexual: Yes

Demisexual: Yes

Asexual: Yes

 

"Demisexual" is sometimes out under the gray-A umbrella. Demisexuality differs from gray-asexuality in that demisexuality is a specific sexual orientation in between "sexual" and "asexual", whereas "gray-A" is a highly unspecific catch-all used for anything between sexual and asexual that does not fit.

 

Demisexuality may make forming romantic or sexual relationships more difficult for some people. Demisexuals often make first impressions with sexuals of being "just friends", which may make them sexually value the relationship less.

 

Demis may also append a gender orientation to the label, as in "Demi-heterosexual".

 

If you still do not understand, here are explanations of what demisexuality is and how to tell if a person(or character in this case) is one. Due to length, I will have these in spoilers:

 

What is Demisexuality?

Spoiler

Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which one feels sexual attraction only after forming an emotional bond. Most demisexuals feel sexual attraction rarely compared to the general population, and may also have little to no interest in sexual activity. Keep reading to understand more about this orientation.

 

What is the emotional bond demisexuals need for sexual attraction?

 

It varies based on the demisexual’s personal experiences and is slightly different for everyone. Emotional intimacy is a main component, usually, so some demisexuals find themselves attracted to close friends or romantic partners. Other components may include familiarity with the person and knowledge about them (ex: learning about aspects of their personality).

However, forming an emotional bond doesn’t guarantee that sexual attraction will happen. It is just a prerequisite for it to occur at all. The length of time required to develop an emotional bond may vary. For some demisexuals, it’s after several years of being close friends with someone, and for others, it might be a short but intense experience, such as traveling abroad for a week with them.

 

Isn’t it normal to only want sex after getting to know someone?

 

There’s a difference between feeling sexually attracted to someone and wanting to have sex with them. Sexual attraction isn’t something you can control—either you have sexual feelings for someone or not. You can’t force it to happen and you can’t force it to go away, so you don’t have a choice in the matter. Sexual behavior, on the other hand, is something you can choose to participate in, or not.

Most people on the non-asexual side of the spectrum feel sexual attraction regardless of whether or not they have a close emotional bond with someone. They may have sexual feelings for attractive people on the street, classmates or coworkers they’ve barely spoken to, or celebrities. However, they may choose to wait to have sex for a variety of reasons: it might not be feasible or appropriate, they want to make sure the person is respectful and kind, it’s against their religious beliefs, they only want to have sex in a romantic relationship, etc. The difference is that demisexuals don’t start out with these sexual feelings at all.

 

How does demisexuality relate to asexuality and the asexual spectrum?

 

Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which one feels little to no sexual attraction or interest in sex (the former definition is more widely used, but some asexuals use the latter definition. Both are valid and accepted.) Demisexuals are considered to be on the asexual spectrum, meaning they are closely aligned with asexuality, but not quite asexual. The asexual spectrum has asexuality on one end and non-asexuality on the other end.

 

Demisexuals are considered part of the asexual community because for the most part, they don’t feel sexual attraction. Many demisexuals are only attracted to a handful of people in their lifetimes, or even just one person. Many demisexuals are also uninterested in sex, so they have a lot in common with asexuals.

 

The thing that makes them different from asexuals is that they are capable of feeling sexual attraction—it’s just that it only happens after they form a deep emotional bond with someone.

 

How do demisexuals feel about sex?

 

According to the Asexual Awareness Week Community Census, the majority of demisexuals are uninterested in and/or repulsed

by sex. However, there are many that enjoy it. Demisexuals have a variety of feelings about sex and other sexual activities, like masturbating and watching porn, so it’s hard to make statements about the group as a whole. All feelings about sex are valid in a demisexual identity: the only thing that defines demisexuals is that they only feel sexual attraction after forming an emotional bond.

Whether or not they feel sexually attracted to someone or not, they can choose to have sex too. They might want to have sex in order to get pregnant, to see what it’s like, or some other reason.

 

Why do demisexuals need a label?

 

The label helps demisexuals form a sense of community and a stronger sense of self. Through this label, they learn that there are others like them out there, and that there’s a community to support them. In this community, demisexuals can talk to others who share the same experiences, share advice on navigating a very sexual world, and find emotional support. The community unites around this label, which helps its members feel more secure in their identities.

 

Many demisexuals grow up feeling different from those around them. Most people have their first instance of sexual attraction in late childhood or their preteen years. From that point on, sex becomes a topic of curiosity and interest for them, and they eventually look forward to pursuing it. For children and teens in school, there is a lot of talk about sex—what it’s like, what it’ll be like, etc. This becomes more prevalent as they approach college and early adulthood.

 

Demisexuals often feel alienated by these conversations because they aren’t interested in sex, they don’t find people attractive, or both. When the conversation turns to hot celebrities, for example, demisexuals may feel confused, and wonder what it is their friends see and feel. They wonder if they will eventually feel it too, and some even end up feeling “broken.” Knowing that there are others like them helps demisexuals feel less alone.

 

Telling if you/someone is demisexual:

Spoiler

1. You are not interested in sex.

 

The majority of demisexuals are repulsed by or indifferent towards sex. Maybe sex is something you’re okay never having (even for the rest of your life), or maybe it even grosses you out. Maybe you just forget, on a regular basis, that sex is something that people do. When the conversation turns to sex, you tune out, are confused about how to respond or participate, or just feel uncomfortable or awkward. Maybe you get really excited about other things like riding your bike, or working on a new painting, and would rather do anything else than have sex.

 

2. The way you think about attractiveness seems to be different from how other people think about it.  

 

This happens to a lot of school-age demisexuals: peers start talking about sex and crushes, and the demisexual senses a disconnect. Perhaps you can find people good-looking, or there’s a celebrity you admire. When asked about crushes, you deflect the question or give a made up answer. Or maybe you do have a crush, but are more interested in getting to know them and spending time with them than having sex with them. The word “hot” doesn’t mean much to you, especially when applied to real people.

Maybe you don’t have sexual urges, or you don’t get what the big deal is about watching porn or going to a strip club or putting up posters of half-naked, muscular people. Perhaps you find people much more attractive when dressed sharply, than when naked.

 

3. The way you think about sex seems to be different too.  

 

You don’t really have the urge to have sex, and you don’t masturbate often, if at all. Alternately, you are happy to please yourself through masturbation whenever it suits you, but you don’t understand why orgasms have to involve another person.

Maybe when you think about sex, it’s more as a thing to observe rather than participate in. Or maybe for you, it makes more sense as an expression of love and intimacy than as a satiation of a craving.

 

4. You like the idea of sex or want to have it, but can’t think of anyone you’d do it with.  

 

This experience is particularly common for demisexuals. You might be fine discussing sex with other people, or maybe you also watch porn and masturbate. Maybe you do get excited by sex scenes in movies, and maybe you’re excited by things like sex toys and lingerie. You don’t really feel like you think about sex differently than other people.

However, there’s just one problem. When you think about who you’d have sex with, you draw a blank. It’s like when you’re hungry and you open the fridge only to find nothing appealing. Maybe you go to parties and people watch, expecting one person to stand out as Sexually Attractive, but no one does, no matter how much you look.

 

5. You view sex as an obligation, or have other reasons for doing it.  

 

Perhaps you found yourself having sex with a past partner because you felt obligated, because sex was just “what you do” in a relationship, or because you thought you’d like it if you tried it. Maybe you focused on doing the right thing to please your partner, rather than really getting into it physically or emotionally. Or maybe you found the sensations pleasurable, but just couldn’t connect with your partner. You find yourself pretending to be into it, and never initiate. Ultimately, maybe you just don’t understand why people hype sex up so much.

 

6. Flirting doesn’t make sense to you.  

 

Maybe it goes right over your head, or it makes you uncomfortable. The idea of flirting seems pointless—why do that when you can have a proper, deep conversation and get to the know the person instead? Maybe when someone gets flirty, you just have no idea how to respond and would prefer to run in the other direction. You feel frustrated that you can’t just talk to someone normally—why do they have to hit on you? Your friends point out that people were flirting with you or checking out out later, or you realize only belatedly. You tend to avoid situations, like parties or clubs, where you can expect lots of flirting, and if you do, you’re either on high alert or happily oblivious.

 

7. You’re nervous about dating and would prefer to date your friends.  

 

Maybe you’d like to be in a relationship, but the whole casual dating thing doesn’t appeal to you. How can people have sex with someone after only a few dates? How can they have sex with someone they just met? Do people really expect sex on the first date? Yikes!

You can only do long term relationships, because you seek great emotional intimacy before getting physical, if at all. You find the whole idea of dating different people daunting or too much effort. Sometimes you end up in relationships without really feeling attracted to the person.

The idea of dating your friends may make more sense to you because you only develop sexual feelings towards people you know well. Maybe you find yourself developing sexual attraction after becoming close friends with someone.

 

8. When you do feel sexual attraction, it’s confusing and/or exclusive.  

 

Because of their low frequency of sexual attraction, demisexuals may be confused when they do feel it. They may not recognize it for what it is. That warm fuzzy feeling when snuggling with a friend? Strange, but probably just the warm fuzzies. For a demisexual, maybe the idea of having sex with the friend doesn’t seem totally terrible. In fact, it might be quite good. But with anyone else, it would definitely be terrible.

For some demisexuals, when they have sexual feelings for one person (like when they’re in a relationship), it’s impossible to imagine being attracted to someone else. They can't imagine physically cheating on a partner, simply because they don’t find anyone else sexually attractive.

 

To Bioware and whoever else is reading this, I appreciate the time you took to do so. Please feel free to add any input you wish. Thank you. 

[LonewandererD]

I doubt they'll put this in. Too large of a consumer base to account for what is one of the more of the obscure sexualities. If you want to RP a demisexual individual, or romance one, just headcanon it. Also, I think Vivienne might count as our asexual choice as she seems to have to no interest in such things, they just get in the way of the important stuff.

 

-D-

[eyezonlyii]

My biggest question is how would you portray this in a game? Could you write a sample conversation or an overview of the romance arc to give more detail? I'll be honest, I had never heard of this until you brought it up in the other thread, so I really have a hard time defining this as a separate sexuality as opposed to...something else. I don't have the vocabulary to accurately reflect what I'm trying to express.

[Asdrubael Vect]

if demi-sexuality Li means that character will romance and sleep only with someone who is somethink like that character(commons beliefs, race, mage/non-mage, respect what they do)

 

 

i am all ok with that as with race and faction(some chantry templar girl will not romance rebellion mage male) restricted romances

[JadePrince]

As much as you and I may disagree on certain topics, I think Bioware would be doing a good thing by including demisexuality in their games. I remember we even proposed some dialogue for it a while back. If you can find it, you should definitely post it. I liked it a lot and thought it could be a potentially really lovely/romantic/sweet romantic path.

[karushna5]

Wow. I never knew you were a demisexual Kallen.

 

It can be weird because at some point you go "nope never going to be attracted to anybody" and then somehow someone walks into your life and it gets confusing. Like some people count the people they have dated, and I have always counted the people I have been sexually attracted to. (2) I honestly thought girls were just like that and my friends were pretending as the idea of sexual attraction was just so bizzare to me.

 

Like the idea of sex seems so terrible that for men it seems worse than death itself, and for a woman I am not with something absolutely horrible. And even in a relationship, sex is something on an inward timer in my head. Been three days, it is time for sex because sexuals really need that stuff. It helps being with someone that never pressures you and always allows you to make the first move, but the number of times it feels like you both are into it is pretty rare.

 

I mean I feel like there are the long terms most people don't understand. Homoromantic Demisexual, and somethings seem to have more effect on my life (****** in homoromantic pretty much has defined where I am at now in life of no choice of my own so I usually associate with lesbian) but I never heard someone but it so well. The different feelings involved.

 

The hard part with characters is they never can use terms (even gay and straight characters just imply) so it might be hard to implement. How would you suggest how a character like this could be shown without actually using the terminology?

[veeia]

Merrill could easily be read as biromantic demisexual, IMO. In fact I think Kallen did until Gaider called her bisexual, right? I wonder if its possible he just isn't that informed on the concept of demisexuality. Quite possible he'd agree that she is.

[AresKeith]

Merrill could easily be read as biromantic demisexual, IMO. In fact I think Kallen did until Gaider called her bisexual, right? I wonder if its possible he just isn't that informed on the concept of demisexuality. Quite possible he'd agree that she is.

 

Merrill technically is that, or demi-bisexual as I read it when I looked it up

[karushna5]

Aveline may be one as well, she never seems to comment on anyone else than her husbands and seems very very awkward at wooing.

[veeia]

Im on my phone and sausage finger smashed that post to publish before I was done  

 

So to add, I just wanted to say I support this wholeheartedly.

 

And my only advice to the writers would be to do your research and be very careful with how you write it if it's with a LI, because there is a possibility that such a narrative could imply that the LI was asexual but the player "fixed" that or is a special exception because of their playerness...which is pretty hurtful to asexual folk. Maybe a way to avoid this is to have the player not be the first person they've fallen for. 

[AresKeith]

Aveline may be one as well, she never seems to comment on anyone else than her husbands and seems very very awkward at wooing.

 

Aveline is Aveline

[veeia]

Awkwardness isn't inherently demisexual. Aveline's discomfort around flirtation probably has a lot to do with her insecurity about her perceived lack of femininity (as revealed through her conversations with Isabela), as well as the way she compartmentalizes personal/private. She could be, but I find it more uncomfortable to cite her awkwardness there, as opposed to Merrill's, because it does seemed linked to her gender identity expression...which is separate from sexuality.

 

I wouldn't argue with anyone who wanted to headcanon it, that is, but just my two cents.  

[RevilFox]

Merrill technically is that, or demi-bisexual as I read it when I looked it up

Merrill does nothing in game to exclude herself from being demi, but Word of God states she's bi.

[karushna5]

Awkwardness isn't inherently demisexual. Aveline's discomfort around flirtation probably has a lot to do with her insecurity about her perceived lack of femininity (as revealed through her conversations with Isabela), as well as the way she compartmentalizes personal/private. She could be, but I find it more uncomfortable to cite her awkwardness there, as opposed to Merrill's, because it does seemed linked to her gender identity expression...which is separate from sexuality.

 

I wouldn't argue with anyone who wanted to headcanon it, that is, but just my two cents.

 

For this reason I am usually more into headcanons as trying to implement it without inserting the idea that people's sexuality can be "fixed" is hard to do without being explicit. I would love to see it but I am Demisexual and have no idea how it would work in a video game.

[veeia]

Merrill does nothing in game to exclude herself from being demi, but Word of God states she's bi.

 

Yeah, in this case I have no problem throwing Word of God aside, because it honestly sounds like he was using the best words he knew to describe her and his vocabulary might be limited. These are fairly new concepts (I mean to have concrete words for, obviously demisexuals have always existed), especially to people who are over 30. (...which I'm assuming he is). A lot of people are going to view demisexuality as a liminal thing---halfway between asexual & sexual, and open to any of the romantic inclinations, and not quite know how to use it as its own concept. Which I am sure is very frusrating, but keep educating and  I think people will learn. I'm sure this thread has already educated a lot of people.

 

I could be wrong, he could be like "eff you Merrill is bisexual and no demi about it", but....honestly, with whats in the text? It's a perfectly valid reading, so, eff you, hypothetical jerkface Gaider.

[Bipster]

As I've said in the KISA thread, I am always 100% up for diversity in romances. I think a demisexual romance/LI could make for a very interesting kind of love story, one that we haven't yet seen in a Bioware game before. 

 

I feel like to do it convincingly though, Bioware would have to change up their romance formula a little bit, and do some research in order to create a faithful portrayal. 

 

[Gothfather]

 

Hello Bioware, 

 

I am writing this thread to offer a suggestion I would like to see for future Bioware games. Bioware has been very representative of the various sexualities that exist in the world. From introducing homosexual women characters with Juhani in Knights of the Old Republic, to introducing bisexual characters with Silk Fox and Sky in Jade Empire, to introducing homosexual male characters with Steve Cortez in Mass Effect 3, to introducing pansexual characters with The Iron Bull, and even thinking of possibly introducing an asexual character in a future title. With such an impressive resume for representation, I would like to humbly suggest that in the future Bioware also adds demisexual characters as well. 

 

/snip

 

How could they write this into a story so that it would be truly representational and not just a situation where people precieve it as a hetero or gay or Bi character that just needs to "warm" up to you first before things progressed?

 

I am not equating demisexuals to the above, I am asking how could they be representated as unique in their own right in a story without either going into a monologue of their sexual orientation or without people thinking oh that character is just a [blank]sexual who takes things slow and wants to get to know someone first before taking the plunge relationship wise.

 

Since the cues we get about OTHER peoples sexuality are external because we can't read peoples minds, how do you present demisexuality in a story? With [blank]sexualities like gay or pan you can have the character make comments about their attraction to so and so. And this can give some major clues to their orientation. With Demisexuals how would you do that? I mean it would be odd  to have them say 'I don't find so and so attractive' just randomly. I mean i don't comment on how i am not attracted to the majority of the world i am not attracted to.

 

This is not an attack I just honestly don't know how you could do this in a game without it feeling forced or clunky or token-esque. Whats better its absence or it done poorly? Yes admitting that Done well is the best option but given the choice which is better?

[Hanako Ikezawa]

As much as you and I may disagree on certain topics, I think Bioware would be doing a good thing by including demisexuality in their games. I remember we even proposed some dialogue for it a while back. If you can find it, you should definitely post it. I liked it a lot and thought it could be a potentially really lovely/romantic/sweet romantic path.

You mean these?

 

Probably there would be some awkward flirting, most from the Player Character--maybe entirely from the player character. This kind of ambiguous sexuality / demisexuality makes me think it would take longer to develop and be more heavily based on their approval rating of the PC. This would be adifficult LI to get with, I think. Eventually, the PC would have to confront or ask the SA / demisexual.

 

PC: Look, I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm into you. Do you... feel the same way?

LI: I... I don't know!

PC: You... don't know.

LI: It isn't that easy! I've never... I've never felt like this. For anyone. So I don't know.

PC: Okay, it's okay. I'm not trying to... push you into anything. I promise.

LI: I know, I know, I just... I need time.

PC: Well, if you figure it out, let me know? I'll be waiting.

 

And then once either the approval rating gets high enough, the romance flag gets flicked and it's all ahead full. The character could be available to both genders and still have an ambiguous sexuality / be demisexual in their own mind, which is the important part.

This sounds like an awesome example of dialogue! I'd love to see a character like that!   Plus it lets the player feel extra special because they really get to be that person's "The One". 

 

I'd add: 

PC: Is it because I'm a woman/man?

LI: No, no! I mean, it's not that, I swear. I don't... I don't think that matters to me. It's just...

PC: It's okay, you don't have to explain. Just... tell me if I'm making you uncomfortable or if you want me to leave you alone?

LI: *blushing a little* No, it's okay... you don't have to stop, just... give me some time to figure things out?

 

I feel like it's important to get some dialogue in there that confirms that they aren't just confused heterosexuals. 

 

Again, what matters most to me is that homophobic straight players can't sh*t on me for thinking the LI is non-straight, you know? I get enough of that in the rest of the media I consume. :/

[eyezonlyii]

You mean these?

 

If I didn't know what the background of what those conversations was about, and it popped up in the game, I would honestly think they were confused [insert]sexual here. Not saying that that's what a demisexual is, just how an outsider might view that dialogue. Maybe, change the "I've never felt this way before" to one that describes a past relationship a bit more, just so we can get a better grasp on where this character is coming from. 

[Gothfather]

You mean these?

 

See I read those and Demisexual does not at all spring to mind. I don't know if you can have representation when most people don't even realise its being represented.

 

Just to be clear I support representation of people's sexuality, but I think its important to do it well. I think its better not to have representation then to have poor representation, but other people might disagree. And frankly I don't know what the right answer is.

[Uprising]

I'd like to know how a demisex character would be. From what I understand a bisexual LI do the job.

EDIT: dont mind, didnt see previous posts on my phone.

[RevilFox]

Yeah, in this case I have no problem throwing Word of God aside, because it honestly sounds like he was using the best words he knew to describe her and his vocabulary might be limited. These are fairly new concepts (I mean to have concrete words for, obviously demisexuals have always existed), especially to people who are over 30. (...which I'm assuming he is). A lot of people are going to view demisexuality as a liminal thing---halfway between asexual & sexual, and open to any of the romantic inclinations, and not quite know how to use it as its own concept. Which I am sure is very frusrating, but keep educating and  I think people will learn. I'm sure this thread has already educated a lot of people.

 

I could be wrong, he could be like "eff you Merrill is bisexual and no demi about it", but....honestly, with whats in the text? It's a perfectly valid reading, so, eff you, hypothetical jerkface Gaider.

I actually agree with you, for the most part, but I know Kallen doesn't.

 

There's a visual novel for iOS devices called...uh..Roomates, I think. One of the characters is Bi and another Pan, and that game does pretty much the best job I've ever seen describing the difference between the two.

[JadePrince]

See I read those and Demisexual does not at all spring to mind. I don't know if you can have representation when most people don't even realise its being represented.

 

Just to be clear I support representation of people's sexuality, but I think its important to do it well. I think its better not to have representation then to have poor representation, but other people might disagree. And frankly I don't know what the right answer is.

 

Yeah, it's difficult because that dialogue might resonate with some people but completely go over the heads of others. The challenge is to present demi-sexuality in such a way that it 'counts' as representation to the people who care about it, but without having to use the word "demisexual" in game (since it would be just as out of place as one of the characters in DA calling themselves 'heterosexual' or 'gay'-- correct me if I'm wrong but those words are never actually spoken in the games, right? Because those are modern terms that don't really fit the language of Thedas?). 

[Gothfather]

Yeah, it's difficult because that dialogue might resonate with some people but completely go over the heads of others. The challenge is to present demi-sexuality in such a way that it 'counts' as representation to the people who care about it, but without having to use the word "demisexual" in game (since it would be just as out of place as one of the characters in DA calling themselves 'heterosexual' or 'gay'-- correct me if I'm wrong but those words are never actually spoken in the games, right? Because those are modern terms that don't really fit the language of Thedas?). 

 

I can't recall anyone using those terms. Hell in DA2 i can't recall anyone actually using terminology that suggested they were even bi with the exception of Isabela. If you are male Anders mentions he fancies men but its not implicit that he also fancies women. And if you are a woman I don't recall he mentions he likes men. This is how I remember things. Only Isabela as I recall mentions past lovers some are men and some are women so you can't play the game without realising she fancies both men and women. In DA:O it was different I think Zevran brings this up as a matter of course and Leliana does as you explore deeper into her past as a bard. But in DA2 it was different I never even knew Fenris was a Romance option let alone his orientation till after my first playthrough and then only because I read he was an option.

 

I never presued any of the romances in DA2 like i did in DA:O so once the romances started maybe there was dialogue that contradicts my experiences.

 

That dialogue could also resonate with someone who is has a type of woman/man they like and now someone not their type has got them confussed because they are attracted to this person. It could be read as someone who identified themself as hertro experiencing their first same sex attraction and being confussed or vis versa. It could be someone who is just likes to take things slow and is confused at what they should do. Do they let the romance progress quickly or wait? And if they wait will they lose the person they are attracted to? If they go quickly will they be respected? Being confussed about a relationship is such a common situation that spans the gambit of orientations that it simply doesn't convey, oh that person is Demisexual, at all. People who are confused often use impercise words to express themselves as well so the exact wording can't be used as an obvious marker.

[veeia]

That's why I think it would be best if the LI knew what they were about, instead of the PC being their first and the one who made them feel this way. Can't be confused with orientation confusion if the LI isn't confused. It also wouldn't feed into the stereotype of the demisexual as "just a normal person who wants a special snowflake romance"