I don't ever remember hearing gay/lesbian/straight/bisexual/homosexual/heterosexual in a Mass Effect game. I guess they technically exist since it's the future of our time, but no one ever uses them.
Those terms might be outdated / obsolete in that world.
Our understanding of human sexuality has evolved rapidly in the last 100 years or so, but I still think it's in its infancy. The future might bring more precise, better understood labels, or no labels at all.
If Isabela shows up at your house, you can boot her?
I'd be mad if a romance scene played out without pC's consent, but you can't control NPC's interpretations of your actions. Maybe I'm not quite understanding what you mean though.
I do agree though, Bioware has some weird issues with consent at times. I think a demi/asexual relationship would be good for them to try though, because it would (hopefully) force them to think about that more.
Yeah but you can't turn them down without being a dick to them. Like it feels a bit like you're forced to enter a relationship if you want to keep being their friend.
I remember Merril came to my house and gave a really sweet confession, after I refused to give her that knife and flirted once so accidental rivalmance, but I was already romancing Fenris and my options were basically:
Kiss me!
I feel the same way!
You and your bloodmagic are a danger to this entire city!
And the same thing happened with Anders once. I don't remember exactly the options, but they were pretty much the same. Two sex and love now and one eww I hate you.
wait, is this that tumblr special snowflake sexuality?! this is literally a normal relationship. this describes every single dragon age romance except zevran.....what?
wait, is this that tumblr special snowflake sexuality?! this is literally a normal relationship. this describes every single dragon age romance except zevran.....what?
I think that the OP gives enough information for you to understand her definition of demisexuality. If you disagree, feel free to share why. No reason to be dismissive, though.
Yeah but you can't turn them down without being a dick to them. Like it feels a bit like you're forced to enter a relationship if you want to keep being their friend.
I remember Merril came to my house and gave a really sweet confession, after I refused to give her that knife and flirted once so accidental rivalmance, but I was already romancing Fenris and my options were basically:
Kiss me!
I feel the same way!
You and your bloodmagic are a danger to this entire city!
And the same thing happened with Anders once. I don't remember exactly the options, but they were pretty much the same. Two sex and love now and one eww I hate you.
Guest_Cat Blade_*
I'm glad this thread did that for you.
I seriously had no idea.
Though I guess it doesn't matter. I'm an older lady and happily married! I think he's borderline demisexual as well. Either way, we totally see eye to eye! And it's funny because I've been best friends with my husband since we were teenagers. We've been besties for maybe 18 years! We've been married for about 4 years, and in a relationship for 6! I was always attracted to him because we were so close, so compatible, and I implicitly trust him. I've never flirted with people or gone on many dates. And we aren't one of those couples who needs to meet a weekly sex quota to feel like our marriage is fulfilling! 
[bold underline mine]
This is I think kills the idea dead. I do not want to see anything that can be precieved of No doesn't mean No. Women have it bad enough with media renforcing its okay to keep pushing when she says no because her no really means maybe or yes. I'd not want to see this in a bioware game.
But your idea could work if the Demisexual was a "hidden" romance, aka one not declaared by BioWare before launch. People have no idea this is a romance option and so if you form a friendship with this character things progress like they would do with NON romanceable characters but then late in the game the Companion inititates the romance. The Companion is the one that pursues the player. I think this might work and it eliminates the precieved No doesn't mean No because the Player doesn't try to romance them first get rejected then tries again.
I have to say, that does sound like a very neat way to go about it.
I don't ever remember hearing gay/lesbian/straight/bisexual/homosexual/heterosexual in a Mass Effect game. I guess they technically exist since it's the future of our time, but no one ever uses them.
True enough.
I don't either, but this makes me wonder, could Liara be read as demi? I haven't played her romance, so I have no idea. I mean its tricky when you take alien cultures into account, but I don't remember her ever expressing much sexual attraction on an Unromanced run. My ME is very rusty though.
You know, now that you say that she does fit some of the criteria for it. I'd play it again, but my ME3 doesn't work. 
Oh yeah, I totally agree with this. Ideally we'd have a range of options, but if we only get one rejection, then it should be neutral, not assuming something on the players behalf. This was a big complaint about DA2 in general, not just for romances, so I am hopeful it will be addressed. Also I'm pretty sure they've said that romances will be much more PC driven this time...so less of the Isa showing up at your place, and more of the asking them to join you in your tent.
I bet it will be like DAO, where you can initiate it first but if you don't then the LI will bring it up.
I think this idea sounds really interesting, especially as a hidden LI.
Possibly... but the fact that one enjoys looking at something does not necessarily mean they want to have sex with it.
It's all subject to interpretation.
OT: I'm not entirely sure we haven't already seen a demisexual LI in Leliana - and maybe Alistair?
Leliana would not have sex with the Warden until her approval was 100% and she was in love. It is strongly implied that Leliana was in love with Marjolaine, and any other sex partners she may have had in the past could very well have been bard business, not actual sexual interest on her part.
Is complimenting someone's hair an expression of sexual interest? How about hugging and kissing? Are these things expressions of affection, sexual desire, or both? I would guess that 10 different people would give you 10 different answers. We don't actually know at what point Leliana became sexually interested in the Warden - which, as I understand it, is the primary hallmark of demisexuality.
It seems to me that in order to really capture the essence of what it means to be demisexual - and demonstrate it clearly in a fictional character - you would have to make some declarations that delineate between expressions of affection and expressions of sexual desire. I honestly don't know how you could accomplish that, short of labeling and defining everything. Anything else would likely be interpreted as a character who may feel sexual desire but does not act on it until the relationship reaches a certain point.
Alistair is definitely not demi-sexual. Alistair is a puppy who jumps at the slightest little crumb of affection. He desperately wants to be loved. He is a little timid about sex, but I don't think that's a sign of demi-sexuality. I think it's a sign of being a chaste, not confident, Chantry-raised virgin.
Simply preferring an emotional connection with sex (for various reasons) does not necessarily seem to be demi-sexuality. Many people choose that kind of sex but are still sexually attracted beforehand. Though I'm only going based on the OP's definitions - I'd never heard of it before. I think plenty of people prefer an emotional connection as a component of their sexual relationships, but it seems like a demi-sexual literally doesn't have a sex drive outside of that component. They thus aren't driven to engage romantically at all. Unless they happen to develop a deep companionship with someone.
Leliana starts coming onto you pretty early. I think her desire to wait has more to do with her personal soul-searching and the fact that her last lover turned on her, got her tortured, etc. Trust issues.
Interesting topic, I'd like to see it happen
Yeah but you can't turn them down without being a dick to them. Like it feels a bit like you're forced to enter a relationship if you want to keep being their friend.
I remember Merril came to my house and gave a really sweet confession, after I refused to give her that knife and flirted once so accidental rivalmance, but I was already romancing Fenris and my options were basically:
Kiss me!
I feel the same way!
You and your bloodmagic are a danger to this entire city!
And the same thing happened with Anders once. I don't remember exactly the options, but they were pretty much the same. Two sex and love now and one eww I hate you.
Actually, you can let Merrill down easy if she comes to the house. One of the options makes Hawke say that she's like a sister to him/her.
Are there more demisexual woman than demisexual man?
Are there more demisexual woman than demisexual man?
I think it's fairly impossible to know the answer to this.
Yeah but you can't turn them down without being a dick to them. Like it feels a bit like you're forced to enter a relationship if you want to keep being their friend.
I remember Merril came to my house and gave a really sweet confession, after I refused to give her that knife and flirted once so accidental rivalmance, but I was already romancing Fenris and my options were basically:
Kiss me!
I feel the same way!
You and your bloodmagic are a danger to this entire city!
And the same thing happened with Anders once. I don't remember exactly the options, but they were pretty much the same. Two sex and love now and one eww I hate you.
Yeah, I don't remember all the options for when he comes to the house but it certainly happens in Anders' initial flirtation. If you don't take the flirt option then he does, and your responses are basically "Please do go on <3", "It's unexpected but okay", and "GET YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF ME YOU ABOMINATION"
Well, I learned a new word today. Never heard of demisexuality before.
That's because it isn't a real thing.
What the Tumblr crowd calls demisexuals are really just heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals who prefer to be romantically attached before having sex. That being said, I suppose people can self-identity however they like.
That's because it isn't a real thing.
What the Tumblr crowd calls demisexuals are really just heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals who prefer to be romantically attached before having sex. That being said, I suppose people can self-identity however they like.
Well, I don't use Tumblr so I can't speak for the crowd you are referring to.
That said, your definition is inaccurate. It is not about preferring to be romantically attached before having sex. It is not having a sexual attraction until one has a strong emotional bond with someone. Doesn't even have to be a romantic bond.
Still sounds like someone who is heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual who just isn't into casual sex, in my opinion. I'm not really seeing much of a distinction there that it requires an entirely new label.
Also, the term was created by a 15 year old girl on a roleplay forum.
Still sounds like someone who is heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual who just isn't into casual sex, in my opinion. I'm not really seeing much of a distinction there that it requires an entirely new label.
Also, the term was created by a 15 year old girl on a roleplay forum.
Out of curiosity, why should a term's origin matter? Every language is full of every day terms which came about from unconventional origins, yet are still accepted as valid terms.
That's because it isn't a real thing.
What the Tumblr crowd calls demisexuals are really just heterosexuals, bisexuals, and homosexuals who prefer to be romantically attached before having sex. That being said, I suppose people can self-identity however they like.
Well, that's big of you?
I'm curious, if you're fine with people self-identifying as they like, then why do you feel prompted to couple that with "..but it's not real"? If it's a meaningful distinction for them, why do you care? If it's not useful to enough people, it will go away on its own, or stay restricted to a small group.
For what it's worth, I have a friend who is demisexual,and it wasn't until I realized that's what she was (and she confirmed it after hearing a definition) that I understood how much of a difference it really was. She was absolutely not attracted to people or interested in dating to the point that we assumed she was asexual (as much as we could understand those things, this was many years ago and we weren't really that informed), until she met someone and started dating him and it blew our minds. And her experience of sexual attraction in their relationship is markedly different than my experience of it in mine, even though she still has it. And furthermore, once I supplied her with that definition, she was floored because she had felt "different' /"wrong" her whole life because she experienced these things so differently. Having that as a concept was very validating for her, and has now allowed her to explain it to people better, and I understand her better too. I don't care where the term came from, or how many people identify as it, or if there are some people who are "just using for special snowflake status", because I have seen how it can help people make sense of their lives in meaningful ways.
Well, that's big of you?
I'm curious, if you're fine with people self-identifying as they like, then why do you feel prompted to couple that with "..but it's not real"? If it's a meaningful distinction for them, why do you care? If it's not useful to enough people, it will go away on its own, or stay restricted to a small group.
I'm sure some of the existing romance options need to be romantically involved with the Inquisitor before taking a roll in the hay. That has been the case with every DA game so far. With that in mind it seems what is really being asked is for some of those potential LIs to self-identity as demisexual as well. While I'm okay with real people self-identifying however they like, I don't think any characters in the game should describe themselves as demisexual.
I'm not seeing a distinction between people who self-identify as demisexual and people who are either attracted to the opposite or same sex (or both), who just don't take sex lightly. Also the term was invented in the internet age by a 15 year old girl on a roleplay forum. It would be out of place in DA dialogue, in my opinion.
I'm sure some of the existing romance options need to be romantically involved with the Inquisitor before taking a roll in the hay. That has been the case with every DA game so far. With that in mind it seems what is really being asked is for some of those potential LIs to self-identity as demisexual as well. While I'm okay with real people self-identifying however they like, I don't think any characters in the game should describe themselves as demisexual.
I'm not seeing a distinction between people who self-identify as demisexual and people who are either attracted to the opposite or same sex (or both), who just don't take sex lightly. Also the term was invented in the internet age by a 15 year old girl on a roleplay forum. It would be out of place in DA dialogue, in my opinion.
Nobody is asking for the character to identify themselves as demisexual in Dragon Age, just to be demisexual. We know it wouldn't make sense since even words like bisexual, heterosexual, or homosexual do not exist in the languages of Thedas. The only time they would be identified as such would be out of game via the writer, like how Patrick Weekes identified The Iron Bull as pansexual rather than bisexual.
There is something called intersectionality. So me being a bisexual does not counter act the fact that I am also into BDSM or techinically fall under "demisexual" according to it's "definition".
Nobody is asking for the character to identify themselves as demisexual in Dragon Age, just to be demisexual. We know it wouldn't make sense since even words like bisexual, heterosexual, or homosexual do not exist in the languages of Thedas. The only time they would be identified as such would be out of game via the writer, like how Patrick Weekes identified The Iron Bull as pansexual rather than bisexual.
In that case there is no reason to think that DA:I won't have you covered.. DA:O had Leliana and Alistair. DA2 had Merrill and Sebastian. I'm sure DA:I will have also have LIs who need to be romantically involved before getting intimate with the Inquisitor.
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