1942 réponses à ce sujet

[Seraphim24]

 

I can only answer for me, but: 

Since I know you mean specifically the romance subplot of these movies, they are hit and miss. For example Cinderella they don't even know each other's names before he looks for her. Disney, especially older Disney, was famous/infamous for these kinds of relationships. Not saying they aren't sweet stories, but they are not demisexual in nature if that's what you're asking. Now an example of a Disney romance that can be seen as more demi is the one in Beauty and the Beast. The guy is literally a monster in appearance, but after months of spending time with him and building a connection does Belle finally start falling for him.

 

Oh I like Beauty and the Beast a lot myself! I was re-watching the final transformation scene the other day actually, especially as compared to Cinderella or some of the others out there.

 

The flirting and friend thing makes sense to me also, although I think that often applies to more than just demisexuals personally.

[TheOgre]

I misunderstood this post several times and reeducated myself about demisexuality. I really hope they consider your OP. Would make an interesting short story within the DA universe.

[Hanako Ikezawa]

I misunderstood this post several times and reeducated myself about demisexuality. I really hope they consider your OP. Would make an interesting short story within the DA universe.

Thank you, TheOgre.

[Seraphim24]

I watched a bunch of videos myself, it's an interesting topic.

 

I saw something about INFJs and demisexuality, where they are people that connect their emotions to reasons which I thought made a lot of sense. I feel like in general sexual attraction is tied to what I think about everything else, it's not like this separate thing. It's not a lack of sex drive per se, but it's only expressed when it kind of makes sense in a larger context.

 

I think with respect to the topic it's just about seeing less kind of gray kind of evil type of characters more like positive and less malicious.

[Seraphim24]

So what are some other games demisexuals like? I was thinking of maybe trying a demisexual character analysis idea (maybe Celes from FF6).. here are some I like

 

A Link to the Past

Final Fantasy 4, 6, and 7.

Chrono Trigger

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Order of Ecclesia

Warcraft 3: Reign of Chaos

Baldur's Gate 1 and 2

Star Ocean 2: The Second Story

Mass Effect 1 (I mean this being a Bioware forum...)

The Witcher 2.

 

I mean this not as in "she literally is X label," but as in it could be that kind of person.

 

So I'm just going to copy paste from a wiki

 

Initially, Celes is aloof and independent, refusing Locke's assistance and preferring to remain imprisoned to face her execution with pride. Celes' bond with the other party members forms slowly, and outside of Terra and Locke, few of them take kindly to her when they first meet. She tells them to judge her based on her actions rather than trying to convince them by words.

 

Although she protests the notion of being "love-starved" or suited to perform an opera, her actions don't support her statements. As she becomes attached to Locke she worries he sees her as a replacement for Rachel and is hurt when he questions her loyalty. She has difficulty connecting with the other members of the group even after they begin to trust her; when she tries to talk to Terra, for instance, she misunderstands Terra's questions about love and takes it as mockery.

 

Her time with the Returners gives her a different perspective and outlook on life, and she forms a strong bond to the group becoming a driving force to bring them together. Celes finds genuine companionship preferable to the power and status the Empire gave her.

[Hanako Ikezawa]

So what makes you think Celes is demisexual, Kefka? 

[Vanth]

 

I can only answer for me, but: 

Since I know you mean specifically the romance subplot of these movies, they are hit and miss. For example Cinderella they don't even know each other's names before he looks for her. Disney, especially older Disney, was famous/infamous for these kinds of relationships. Not saying they aren't sweet stories, but they are not demisexual in nature if that's what you're asking. Now an example of a Disney romance that can be seen as more demi is the one in Beauty and the Beast. The guy is literally a monster in appearance, but after months of spending time with him and building a connection does Belle finally start falling for him.

 

If I may say so, I think this completely misses the point of what demisexuality is all about. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are completely different things. A demisexual can be romantically attracted to someone right away without knowing much about them, but are not sexually attracted until a strong emotional bond is present. These Disney relationships are famous for being entirely devoid of sexual relationships - they are purely romantic, so have no bearing on demisexuality. 

[Seraphim24]

So what makes you think Celes is demisexual, Kefka? 

 

Basically she doesn't have any interest in Locke  despite him being the handsome rebel and all until much later in the game. In general, she is only interested in people after spending a long time getting to know them. She also doesn't like the kind of silly Romance game in the play that she is in, although she still does it anyway.

 

More or less she is only interested in Locke after a long period of time, moreover there isn't anything sexual until that point (and really not even at that point necessarily).

 

I think Terra is somewhat similar to be honest.

 

I kind of Think Zelda and Link are pretty demi across the series (maybe not the the first two, Twilight Princess, Ocarina, or the handheld games as much though)

 

If I may say so, I think this completely misses the point of what demisexuality is all about. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are completely different things. A demisexual can be romantically attracted to someone right away without knowing much about them, but are not sexually attracted until a strong emotional bond is present. These Disney relationships are famous for being entirely devoid of sexual relationships - they are purely romantic, so have no bearing on demisexuality. 

 

I was thinking more of the lines of "Does anyone else here like them?" Less, do they fit clearly into this pre-conceived analytical category why or why not.

 

Edit: Although that's ok also

[Hanako Ikezawa]

If I may say so, I think this completely misses the point of what demisexuality is all about. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are completely different things. A demisexual can be romantically attracted to someone right away without knowing much about them, but are not sexually attracted until a strong emotional bond is present. These Disney relationships are famous for being entirely devoid of sexual relationships - they are purely romantic, so have no bearing on demisexuality. 

You are correct. The example I listed would be more likely demiromantic rather than demisexual. I was answering under the guise of Kefka wondering if Disney ever got close, but it seems I misunderstood their question. I apologize. 

[Seraphim24]

You are correct. The example I listed would be more likely demiromantic rather than demisexual. I was answering under the guise of Kefka wondering if Disney ever got close, but it seems I misunderstood their question. I apologize. 

 

I think that kind of was my question though. I'm not really saying it's either or... I would think in addition to viewing media as fitting within the category they would also just like them.

 

I mean I think however people interpreted the question I would of been ok with the answers is basically what I'm saying.   It's useful it seems to me to compare them in that sense, but also not to forget that a lot of the times we come to think just as fans and for no other complicated reason necessarily.

 

Like what do you like Vanth? I'm just curious.

 

I think for me it seems like the appeal of demisexuality comes from it being sort of like in the sphere of gamers and all that, but honestly I'm just not (basically at all, if any) "deviant" sexually. It seems to me if you watch or like any anime or certain games etc you like have to be interested in casual sex, or BDSM, or sex with the same gender, or this or that, and it's like well some of us just really are boring heterosexual romantics and just want to go and talk and have fun in conversation or something.

 

So the games and things that reflect that are somewhat less common but they exist and so I'm curious to see what other people like might be similar to mine.

[Delilah Faye]

I think for me it seems like the appeal of demisexuality comes from it being sort of like in the sphere of gamers and all that, but honestly I'm just not (basically at all, if any) "deviant" sexually. 

 

Sorry to just jump in, but I'm confused. I can't speak for OP, but I do identify as demisexual, and I don't understand what you mean by the "appeal" of demisexuality. Because it isn't really an issue of "appeal"? It isn't a lifestyle, or a habit. It's a way to describe how I build romantic attachment. Emotionally, and not physically? 

 

It was put it like this in the opening of this thread:

 

 

Demisexuals are not choosing to abstain; they simply lack sexual attraction until a close relationship is formed.

 

 

Um, also...

 

 

It seems to me if you watch or like any anime or certain games etc you like have to be interested in casual sex, or BDSM, or sex with the same gender, or this or that, and it's like well some of us just really are boring heterosexual romantics and just want to go and talk and have fun in conversation or something.

 

 

I wonder if conflating all of these things together is really what you meant to do? Because casual sex and BDSM and having sex with the same gender aren't really inherently linked together. And there isn't really anything to stop people who engage in those activities to also want to "have fun in conversation"? 

[Seraphim24]

Sorry to just jump in, but I'm confused. I can't speak for OP, but I do identify as demisexual, and I don't understand what you mean by the "appeal" of demisexuality. Because it isn't really an issue of "appeal"? It isn't a lifestyle, or a habit. It's a way to describe how I build romantic attachment. Emotionally, and not physically? 

 

It was put it like this in the opening of this thread:

 

 

 

Um, also...

 

 

 

I wonder if conflating all of these things together is really what you meant to do? Because casual sex and BDSM and having sex with the same gender aren't really inherently linked together. And there isn't really anything to stop people who engage in those activities to also want to "have fun in conversation"? 

 

I'm just saying the appeal of demisexuality is simply that it explains a lot of my tastes/preferences really well. It's been really appealing as a framework. I'm not saying oh I've tried everything and this one sounds the coolest! Kinda thing.

 

I've always maintained some degree of distance from gamers because I always felt like there was this expectation that you really liked casual sex, or were LGBT or just, something, so the appeal of demisexuality is kind of like oh well you can like games and be kind of boring like me. I'm not saying those things are bad, but people will always naturally look for things to help them fit in so that's where the "appeal" comes in I suppose.

 

Obviously people who have casual sex or play with BDSM have fun in conversation too, some people like to spend more time on some things than others though at the same time.

 

I'm not sure what gave you the impression I was treating it like a lifestyle or something. I think the idea was more that some people overlap at certain points, there's probably like less strict "demisexuals" who have more sexual desire and than hardcore asexuals who literally never experience anything except maybe once to procreate or something. Also I actually think there are relationships between all these supposedly separate things but that gets kind of controversial though so..

[Delilah Faye]

 

I've always maintained some degree of distance from gamers because I always felt like there was this expectation that you really liked casual sex, or were LGBT or just, something, so the appeal of demisexuality is kind of like oh well you can like games and be kind of boring like me. I'm not saying those things are bad, but people will always naturally look for things to help them fit in so that's where the "appeal" comes in I suppose.

 

 

Really? I'm having trouble absorbing that. It's always seemed to me like the stereotype for someone who plays video games is a young straight male. And I mean, I see so many people who seem to identify themselves as straight and male on this site. 

 

I'm not sure what gave you the impression I was treating it like a lifestyle or something. I think the idea was more that some people overlap at certain points, there's probably like less strict "demisexuals" who have more sexual desire and than hardcore asexuals who literally never experience anything except maybe once to procreate or something.

 

It's basically the way you keep saying that it has "appeal," which is just more a word I associate with something to try, rather than something that already is. 

 

And I don't know if it's just me, but your last few posts have had this quality like you're trying to analyze the psychology of demisexuality, but you're also talking about other things like homosexuality and referring to it as "deviant." (you did use the quotation marks, so I'm not saying that you're calling homosexuality deviant).

 

 

 

Also I actually think there are relationships between all these supposedly separate things but that gets kind of controversial though so..

 

 

Wow, you think that there's a relationship between homosexuality and casual sex? Okay, I think it's better if we don't discuss that further then. That could go to really unpleasant places. 

[Seraphim24]

Really? I'm having trouble absorbing that. It's always seemed to me like the stereotype for someone who plays video games is a young straight male. And I mean, I see so many people who seem to identify themselves as straight and male on this site. 

 

 

It's basically the way you keep saying that it has "appeal," which is just more a word I associate with something to try, rather than something that already is. 

 

And I don't know if it's just me, but your last few posts have had this quality like you're trying to analyze the psychology of demisexuality, but you're also talking about other things like homosexuality and referring to it as "deviant." (you did use the quotation marks, so I'm not saying that you're calling homosexuality deviant).

 

 

 

Wow, you think that there's a relationship between homosexuality and casual sex? Okay, I think it's better if we don't discuss that further then. That could go to really unpleasant places. 

 

Ok I'm not really sure what's set you off here, first of all so what if I'm trying to analyze the psychology of demisexuality? And yeah I just mean "deviant" as in non-conforming to the mainstream or whatever we want to say, I didn't mean that in a negative sense. Actually, it seems to me a lot of people are proud of that aspect so I thought it would actually be nice to say it that way. (I mean, "Deviant" art right?)

 

And did I say there was a relationship between homosexuality and casual sex? No, and at any rate, so what if there was? I don't care.

 

I think the only observation I made with respect to this thread was that II noticed there seemed to be a relationship between BDSM players and demi/asexuality actually, which again, not saying this is bad or something just something I noticed. So what if there is or isn't?

 

As for me well let me tell you that I once had someone really attractive at my apartment who just was interested in sex, and like, I just like couldn't really bring myself to do it. They were literally like clawing at my shirt (this isn't like rape or anything stupid, I thought it was just something I should be doing), like they were half-naked, really attractive, desiring sex, and it was like I just couldn't like find anything. Actually, that happened on more than one occasion with different people. I ended up walking them to the subway and trying to get to know them and their tastes better before giving them a hug. It feels like maybe yeah I was trying to get to know them as a person and without that it's hard to find the requisite sexual desire.

 

This was like 5 years ago now so no it's not like I woke up one day and was trying to pick the coolest one.

[Delilah Faye]

Ok I'm not really sure what's set you off here, first of all so what if I'm trying to analyze the psychology of demisexuality? And yeah I just mean "deviant" as in non-conforming to the mainstream or whatever we want to say, I didn't mean that in a negative sense. Actually, it seems to me a lot of people are proud of that aspect so I thought it would actually be nice to say it that way.

 

 

Oh, nothing has set me off. I just want to be cautious and not get into a difficult discussion that might lead to a more difficult and more inflammatory one. 

 

 

 

And did I say there was a relationship between homosexuality and casual sex? No, if there was? I don't know why that's a problem, I'm just talking about me and my personality or whatever.

 

 

 

I was speaking in response to you mentioning "casual sex, BDSM, and sex with the same gender" all together. I asked if you really meant to conflate those three things, and you said that you actually do think there was a relationship between them?

 

 

I think I mentioned it because I noticed there seemed to be a relationship between BDSM players and demi/asexuality actually, which again, not saying this is bad or something just something I noticed.

 

I want to try to assure you that there isn't a relationship there at all, but I get the feeling you'll prefer your theories anyway, so I think I'd prefer to drop this after all.

[Seraphim24]

Oh, nothing has set me off. I just want to be cautious and not get into a difficult discussion that might lead to a more difficult and more inflammatory one. 

 

 

 

 

I was speaking in response to you mentioning "casual sex, BDSM, and sex with the same gender" all together. I asked if you really meant to conflate those three things, and you said that you actually do think there was a relationship between them?

 

 

 

I want to try to assure you that there isn't a relationship there at all, but I get the feeling you'll prefer your theories anyway, so I think I'd prefer to drop this after all.

 

I think there's all kinds of relationships, sure, again... don't know why that's an issue necessarily. I don't really know which ones I could confidently talk about, but since you mentioned casual sex, BDSM, and sex with the same gender... well.... I mean let me just pick something at random. A lot of people into BDSM seem to be bisexual, ok, not good, or bad, just something that seems like a trend. There's lots of trends of various kinds, that I don't really understand.

 

I mentioned BDSM because I just literally encountered someone who identified as demisexual while being into BDSM, more like in a straightforward relationship with someone they liked and respected personality wise but sex wasn't the only manifestation of their desire kind of thing, so I don't know if the er... demisexual community... would treat that as someone as not really qualifying for whatever reason or not because I think I mentioned I'd never heard of the term at all before this thread.

 

Anyway I don't actually prefer my theories at all really there just things that come to mind and may often leave just as quickly. It's all just about comparing experiences right? 

 

Like I told my story that was all super virginal but I mean do you have some similar ones or things like that? Might be interesting.... the OP had all kinds of ideas in them that people relate to but it might be more meaningful if people shared personal stories as a way to better establish what someone identifies as "demisexual" kind of means. 

[Hanako Ikezawa]

I mentioned BDSM because I just literally encountered someone who identified as demisexual while being into BDSM, more like in a straightforward relationship with someone they liked and respected personality wise but sex wasn't the only manifestation of their desire kind of thing, so I don't know if the er... demisexual community... would treat that as someone as not really qualifying for whatever reason or not because I think I mentioned I'd never heard of the term at all before this thread.

Being into BDSM doesn't mean someone can't be demisexual. It just means that once a strong enough bond is formed that sexual attraction occurs, they are interested in BDSM. 

[Saphiron123]

So what makes you think Celes is demisexual, Kefka? 

Nobody is demisexual, tumblr made it up.

[Seraphim24]

Being into BDSM doesn't mean someone can't be demisexual. It just means that once a strong enough bond is formed that sexual attraction occurs, they are interested in BDSM. 

 

Haha ok, thanks for the clarification.

 

I think in general it's safe to assume the way they practice would be less casual sex oriented though, for example. Actually there are some people who basically have a porn career as well as an interest BDSM which, harder to believe that is a case of demisexuality and BDSM coinciding.

 

Nobody is demisexual, tumblr made it up.

 

Well no one is anything, all labels are made up, they're just things that people created to associate with and understand experiences or phenomena.

[RevilFox]

Nobody is demisexual, tumblr made it up.

Ugh, this is an argument that needs to die a horrible death. 

 

The term "demisexual" is a very recent one, it's true. I've heard a couple stories as to where it was first used, but let's assume for the sake of argument that it was Tumblr. It could have been, I'm not sure. But the truth is that it doesn't matter where the term came from, because it's just a label for something that was already there. People were demisexual before there was a word for it. People were asexual before there was a word for it. The hard thing to understand about any of the LGBT+ community is that it's very different than race in that it's difficult to impossible to look at someone and know what their orientation is. Sometimes it's difficult to impossible to know what YOUR orientation is. And that's why being able to put a word to it is important. Because if you have a word for it, then if someone else identifies as the same thing you no longer feel like you're alone. Primarily because of the internet it's now possible to get in contact with other people who identify like you do and work through your feelings and issues to discover who you really are. Did the term "demisexual" come about because of the internet? Yes. But that's not a bad thing...it's a good thing. Why anyone would ever say otherwise when just HAVING a term for it has helped people figure out who they are is beyond me.

[Hanako Ikezawa]

Ugh, this is an argument that needs to die a horrible death. 

 

The term "demisexual" is a very recent one, it's true. I've heard a couple stories as to where it was first used, but let's assume for the sake of argument that it was Tumblr. It could have been, I'm not sure. But the truth is that it doesn't matter where the term came from, because it's just a label for something that was already there. People were demisexual before there was a word for it. People were asexual before there was a word for it. The hard thing to understand about any of the LGBT+ community is that it's very different than race in that it's difficult to impossible to look at someone and know what their orientation is. Sometimes it's difficult to impossible to know what YOUR orientation is. And that's why being able to put a word to it is important. Because if you have a word for it, then if someone else identifies as the same thing you no longer feel like you're alone. Primarily because of the internet it's now possible to get in contact with other people who identify like you do and work through your feelings and issues to discover who you really are. Did the term "demisexual" come about because of the internet? Yes. But that's not a bad thing...it's a good thing. Why anyone would ever say otherwise when just HAVING a term for it has helped people figure out who they are is beyond me.

Gosh, I missed you. 

[Seraphim24]

Ugh, this is an argument that needs to die a horrible death. 

 

The term "demisexual" is a very recent one, it's true. I've heard a couple stories as to where it was first used, but let's assume for the sake of argument that it was Tumblr. It could have been, I'm not sure. But the truth is that it doesn't matter where the term came from, because it's just a label for something that was already there. People were demisexual before there was a word for it. People were asexual before there was a word for it. The hard thing to understand about any of the LGBT+ community is that it's very different than race in that it's difficult to impossible to look at someone and know what their orientation is. Sometimes it's difficult to impossible to know what YOUR orientation is. And that's why being able to put a word to it is important. Because if you have a word for it, then if someone else identifies as the same thing you no longer feel like you're alone. Primarily because of the internet it's now possible to get in contact with other people who identify like you do and work through your feelings and issues to discover who you really are. Did the term "demisexual" come about because of the internet? Yes. But that's not a bad thing...it's a good thing. Why anyone would ever say otherwise when just HAVING a term for it has helped people figure out who they are is beyond me.

 

I don't normally agree pretty wholeheartedly with anyone but that was pretty amazing. I kind of agree that labels are not really a real thing but I can't really deny their practical value at times.

[Grieving Natashina]

Ugh, this is an argument that needs to die a horrible death. 

 

The term "demisexual" is a very recent one, it's true. I've heard a couple stories as to where it was first used, but let's assume for the sake of argument that it was Tumblr. It could have been, I'm not sure. But the truth is that it doesn't matter where the term came from, because it's just a label for something that was already there. People were demisexual before there was a word for it. People were asexual before there was a word for it. The hard thing to understand about any of the LGBT+ community is that it's very different than race in that it's difficult to impossible to look at someone and know what their orientation is. Sometimes it's difficult to impossible to know what YOUR orientation is. And that's why being able to put a word to it is important. Because if you have a word for it, then if someone else identifies as the same thing you no longer feel like you're alone. Primarily because of the internet it's now possible to get in contact with other people who identify like you do and work through your feelings and issues to discover who you really are. Did the term "demisexual" come about because of the internet? Yes. But that's not a bad thing...it's a good thing. Why anyone would ever say otherwise when just HAVING a term for it has helped people figure out who they are is beyond me.

I'm out of likes, so call this an honorary one until I get some back.  That was very well said!  

[Scuttlebutt101]

I'd rather they focused more on the overall story quality than trying to include every little minority in the game.