For the sake of my own sanity I've realized that running in the opposite direction of any topic discussing gaming culture (or internet culture) is the Only Choice ™. Sadly, I do not do it as often as I should do it.
That's why I mostly kept my computer off during that time period. 
I think all that's required is an a storyline that can culminate in sex but not until there's (a perceived) meaningful emotional connection on the part of the LI, with some conversation about this very much a matter of attract "as you'd understand it".
Now that I have read this thread I think I would recognize demisexual LI but if I wouldn't have done that I wouldn't have recognized demisexual LI because the concept wasn't familar to me before.
Now that I have read this thread I think I would recognize demisexual LI but if I wouldn't have done that I wouldn't have recognized demisexual LI because the concept wasn't familar to me before.
The key, I think, is that the request here is from the POV of players who share the trait and what it showcased, rather than for the sake of education or visibility from our (outsider) POV.
The key, I think, is that the request here is from the POV of players who share the trait and what it showcased, rather than for the sake of education or visibility from our (outsider) POV.
I understand that but after seeing the discussion about Merrill I thought that it's also important that the character is clearly demisexual. Or have I misunderstood something? I haven't read all the posts.
I understand that but after seeing the discussion about Merrill I thought that it's also important that the character is clearly demisexual. Or have I misunderstood something? I haven't read all the posts.
I'm not the right person to answer that question. I imagine the difference (from what I understand of other poster's views) is that Bioware retconned Merril? I don't get it.
I understand that but after seeing the discussion about Merrill I thought that it's also important that the character is clearly demisexual. Or have I misunderstood something? I haven't read all the posts.
I'm going by a summation here, and I apologize in advance if I screw up some of the details. Hana (or whomever,) please correct me if I'm mistaken. I hope I say this right. 
From what I've gathered, the issue is that Merrill was stated as bisexual. Most bisexuals tend to fall into the majority of the population when it comes to a sex drive. Some folks, including Hana, felt like they had found a connection with Merrill in terms of sexual identity prior to this reveal. I know that Hana for instance identifies as demisexual.
Merrill, unlike most of the female LIs in Dragon Age prior to that point, never talks about sex prior to the romance "lock" scene. Given her nature as both a Dalish outcast and her stated treatment by her clan even before the blood magic came into play, it's easy to assume that she had never found anyone special enough to really feel a sex drive. She makes remarks on shirtless Qunari, but at least for me, it struck me more as admiration than anything sexual. Ace/demisexuals can find people appealing to look at, but don't get turned on by it in a causal manner. Unlike Fenris, who isn't dissimilar in that respect, she doesn't start a relationship with another party member if left unromanced.
When David Gaider said that all of the LIs were bisexual, including Merrill, this was a disappointment for some players. Asexuality and the sexual identities associated with it, are rarely talked about in terms of romance in media in general. Merrill seemed like the perfect fit, and to have that taken away stung for some people.
Now, to be fair, I think it was a matter of not knowing what demisexuality was at the time. Which was understandable, since I didn't even know about it until just over a year ago. DG knew that Merrill wasn't asexual, and that she was interested in both genders. Try saying, bi-romantic demisexual elven romance three times fast. 
So, this thread is around in the hopes that the devs read it and at least take it into consideration. They'll do as the wish for the characters, but for me, trying something like this sounds awesome coming from this company. Sometimes, it's not about what a character states that's important to people. Sometimes, it's just in what they do.
I'm not demisexual, so I'm not an expert. This is just what I've seen since this thread was created and there's a chance I'm not saying certain things correct. However, I'm happy to see that ace/demisexuals on the forums have a place to hang out and talk to each other while giving some cool character ideas we can all enjoy.
Edit: Wow, had to fix a very bad sentence. So sorry about that!
Why don't you stop over analyzing the habits of posters, please? You spend more time thinking about and debating about the sexual identity of the forum posters than I do about my own sexual identity. You go out of your way to hit up threads that "you don't understand" to needle and bicker with the posters in there. You make a lot of comments stating and suggesting that every person that supports Hana's idea must be demisexual, or that demisexuals are "lying" to themselves in some fashion. In one of your attempts to make snide comments in the past, you decided to make the most ridiculous statement you could about my sexuality (and a couple of others) based on our posting experiences and conversation preferences on a video game forum.
I'm going to give you some honest and real advice. I don't say this to be snarky, sarcastic, rude or backhanded in anyway.
Shut down your computer/laptop/tablet/phone. Go outside if it's a nice day. Grab a book or a comic, but leave the electronic leashes at home. Take a week or so and just get offline for a bit. Spend some time with your friends outside of the net. I'm not trying to say, "Go away from the forums" because sometimes you do have some good and fun ideas. I am saying that maybe too much internet in general is catching up here.
I took a month back in January. I wasn't online at all, and I didn't spend much time in my office unless my husband had a link or a video he wanted to show me on his computer. I caught up on a lot of books, listened to a lot of music I had meant to sooner and finally finished FFIV: After Years.
I was getting way too wrapped up in the internet and gaming culture drama in general, and it did me a lot of good to just unplug. You should do the same and then come back.
I don't know about you, but for me, this is just a discussion, an attempt to discover something that makes sense to me or to make sense of the world generally. If that really is so exhausting or problematic, than I mean in all sincerity that it may be wise to take your own advice. I have said, I'm not trying to hurt anyone, if someone seems to have a certain sexual history based on my intuition and I mention it or factor it in to my position in some way or read their statements, I would consider that to be just sort of human nature but really not a negative thing.
For the sake of my own sanity I've realized that running in the opposite direction of any topic discussing gaming culture (or internet culture) is the Only Choice ™. Sadly, I do not do it as often as I should do it.
I think all that's required is an a storyline that can culminate in sex but not until there's (a perceived) meaningful emotional connection on the part of the LI, with some conversation about this very much a matter of attract "as you'd understand it".
If that satisfies some people great, would not satisfy me though. I don't believe they can, as I've already said, because they aren't, I honestly don't really think Bioware should try and create anything that doesn't come from personal experience, as it would amount to pandering...
"One made-up identity that really grinds my gears is “demisexuality.” A “demisexual” person is someone who can only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has been formed. Demisexuality, apparently, is a form of the asexuality. I don’t deny that asexuality is a legitimate orientation, but when I see people identifying as “demisexual,” I just see people trying to claim minority status by slapping a label on what is actually a very common inclination. I know it is very controversial to question any orientation on the internet, but there is a point when the labels like this get ridiculous. Demisexuality was made up only a few years ago while all other sexualities have been around for thousands of years, and it is not even recognized as a sexual orientation by any credible organization and it is not included by the LGBT community. On top of that, claiming “demisexuality” as an orientation just doesn’t make any sense! Sexual orientation is in relation to the gender to which a person is attracted to. ...
... Back in reality, there are millions of people outside of tumblr who would kill to be a boring old “cishet”, and it is so massively disrespectful and offensive to discredit their struggles by waving a rainbow flag and yelling “DEMISEXUAL PRIDE!” Everyone experiences sex and sexual attraction differently; having a slightly lower libido does not warrant a separate orientation nor put you on the same level as the millions of people around the world who suffer daily for theirs. In my experience, the “demisexual” community consists exclusively of straight people trying to piggy-back onto the LGBT movement."
- http://thoughtcatalo...ity-identities/
While I can understand what people are saying demisexuality is and can understand it I have to largely agree with the blog above. Everybody experiences sexual attraction differently, so just because you experience your attraction to men/women differently to other people does not mean you have your own orientation.
Bioware characters already explore many different forms of attraction. Isabela has a high libido and frequent casual sex with both genders, Cassandra enjoys cheesy romantic novels and Josephine has a very romantically inclined romance with the player. All of these are relatable to different people. Insisiting that your own personal understanding of attraction needs to be included in the game and trying to pass that off as a matter of LBG representation ultimately detracts from the real issues many gay, lesbian and bisexual people face.
Oh dear that article is bad. Really bad. I want to make some comments regarding it, but I'm no expert on demisexuality so if I say something wrong feel free to correct me.
Long TL;DR post aside:
Bioware character already explore many different forms of attraction. Isabela has a high libido and frequent casual sex with both genders, Cassandra enjoys cheesy romantic novels and Josephine has a very romantically inclined romance with the player. All of these are relatable to different people. Insisiting that your own personal understanding of attraction needs to be included in the game and trying to pass that off as a matter of LBG representation ultimately detracts from the real issues many gay, lesbian and bisexual people face.
I don't think Bioware explored different form of attractions, simply different type of relationships and how a certain character's personality reflects in their relationship and how they like to handle their relationship. It has everything to do with behavior and nothing to do with attraction.
If you think Bioware adding in one more romance to represent a lesser known sexuality "detracts from the 'real' issues many gay, lesbian and bisexual people face" then you have quite the small attention span. If they have the resources and money to do both, I don't see why not.
Long TL;DR post aside:
I don't think Bioware explored different form of attractions, simply different type of relationships and how a certain character's personality reflects in their relationship and how they like to handle their relationship. It has everything to do with behavior and nothing to do with attraction.
If you think Bioware adding in one more romance to represent a lesser known sexuality "detracts from the 'real' issues many gay, lesbian and bisexual people face" then you have quite the small attention span. If they have the resources and money to do both, I don't see why not.
Attraction is difficult because it's internalized so is difficult to delve into without seeing inside a characters mind, but I think it was very clear that the way Merrill was attracted to Hawke is different to the way Isabela was attracted to Hawke, and that the way Sera was attracted to the Inquisitor is different to how Josephine was. At the very least they are made as clear as they could without the characters spelling out every instance of attraction they felt (which would have been very bad writing).
It's not Bioware adding a demisexual character that would detract from anything, I wouldn't have any problem with that. In fact, I think exploring more types of attraction would be a good thing. It's creating a 70-page thread about it and trying to make out that not including a specific form of attraction is equal to lack of gay/lesbian representation that detracts from much more serious, and real issues.
Also, demisexuality isn't really a sexuality. It's sort of like hypersexuality- more a degree of attraction than anything else.
As for the article, I could also write a lot of things I found were wrong with it too, so you don't need to list them off to me. It simply reminded me of this thread and the issues I myself had with it, and put forward a few points that I found myself agreeing with.
Attraction is difficult because it's internalized so is difficult to delve into without seeing inside a characters mind, but I think it was very clear that the way Merrill was attracted to Hawke is different to the way Isabela was attracted to Hawke, and that the way Sera was attracted to the Inquisitor is different to how Josephine was. At the very least they are made as clear as they could without the characters spelling out every instance of attraction they felt (which would have been very bad writing).
It's not Bioware adding a demisexual character that would detract from anything, I wouldn't have any problem with that. In fact, I think exploring more types of attraction would be a good thing. It's creating a 70-page thread about it and trying to make out that not including a specific form of attraction is equal to lack of gay/lesbian representation that detracts from much more serious, and real issues.
Also, demisexuality isn't really a sexuality.
As for the article, I could also write a lot of things I found were wrong with it too, so you don't need to list them off to me. It simply reminded me of this thread and the issues I myself had with it, and put forward a few points that I found myself agreeing with.
Merrill could've been seen as a demisexual character until word of god basically "killed" that 'headcanon', so the intention of how a character and their attraction is written is important as well. I think this thread would've been a lot shorter if WoG never stated that Merrill was bisexual and not demisexual.
A thread that invokes discussion (and some education towards people with questions) is bound to have a large number of pages, nonetheless I think the number of pages on a thread is irrelevant and what is (un)important, (not) real or (not) serious to you might not be the same for other people. I don't see how discussing their own issues detracts from someone else's issues.
I suppose that depends on what you define as a sexuality.
Demisexuality is already pretty well represented across all media, and it is often portrayed as the "proper" or "default" sexuality for women (side note: would acually be really interesting to see it portrayed in male characters more, though). Also, characters like Alistair, (arguably) Merrill, and Cassandra are pretty clearly demisexual (or portray demisexual tendencies).
(( Unpopular opinion time, but IMO demisexuality is a somewhat poor moniker, since demisexuality is not a sexual orientation by definition. Also, grouping it with sexual minorities in terms of representation is really problematic, since no person ever has lost their job / been beaten or abused for being demisexual. ))
Merrill could've been seen as a demisexual character until word of god basically "killed" that 'headcanon', so the intention of how a character and their attraction is written is important as well. I think this thread would've been a lot shorter if WoG never stated that Merrill was bisexual and not demisexual.
A thread that invokes discussion (and some education towards people with questions) is bound to have a large number of pages, nonetheless I think the number of pages on a thread is irrelevant and what is (un)important, (not) real or (not) serious to you might not be the same for other people. I don't see how discussing their own issues detracts from someone else's issues.
I suppose that depends on what you define as a sexuality.
It's not the discussion that's the issue, it's the implication that demisexual representation and portrayal in media is as big an issue as representation of homosexual, bisexual and transgender people. I don't think that demisexual representation is much of an issue at all, and that this time and energy should be directed at real issues involving sexual minorities in media. Although it is flawed and harsh, I draw upon another quote from the article I linked:
"People are dying right now, becoming homeless, and living in dire poverty because of their sexuality. When you appropriate the suffering of the LGBT+ community, you are stealing voices from people who do genuinely need help and support."
As for Merrill, if you define demisexuality as nothing more than a different type of attraction (as I do) then there is nothing to say that she isn't, really. To me, bisexual simply means she is capable of being attracted to both men and women. Whether or not she was only attracted to them after forming an emotional connection is irrelevant.
(( Unpopular opinion time, but IMO demisexuality is a somewhat poor moniker, since demisexuality is not a sexual orientation by definition. Also, grouping it with sexual minorities in terms of representation is really problematic, since no person ever has lost their job / been beaten or abused for being demisexual. ))
I agree. I have no issue with people defining themselves how they want, but complaining that they aren't getting represented in media or trying to claim that they are being oppressed like other sexual minorities rubs me the wrong way. Especially if they are only capable of developing attraction to people of the opposite gender anyway, so are bascially straight.
I agree. I have no issue with people defining themselves how they want, but complaining that they aren't getting represented in media or trying to claim that they are being oppressed like other sexual minorities rubs me the wrong way. Especially if they are only capable of developing attraction to people of the opposite gender anyway, so are bascially just straight.
Yeah, I completely agree with you.
Although I'm straight myself, I have friends who are still fighting for basic human rights, like marriage equality, adoption rights, and not being forced to go through sterilization to get their gender legally recognized (I mean, WTH? That's like literally the last acceptable form of eugenics left in our justice system! Maybe it's time we get rid of it - like, a couple decades ago?). Not to even talk about the subtle cultural microaggressions and the related BS, and the occasional physical acts of violence...
I mean, I get that not feeling like you're not represented sucks, and I will forever root for representation of all kinds, but comparing these issues with the kind of abuse and hardship sexual minorities have to go through regularly (sometimes daily) is really problematic in so many ways (even if it's unintentional), and it makes me really uncomfortable.
I'm going by a summation here, and I apologize in advance if I screw up some of the details. Hana (or whomever,) please correct me if I'm mistaken. I hope I say this right.
From what I've gathered, the issue is that Merrill was stated as bisexual. Most bisexuals tend to fall into the majority of the population when it comes to a sex drive. Some folks, including Hana, felt like they had found a connection with Merrill in terms of sexual identity prior to this reveal. I know that Hana for instance identifies as demisexual.
Merrill, unlike most of the female LIs in Dragon Age prior to that point, never talks about sex prior to the romance "lock" scene. Given her nature as both a Dalish outcast and her stated treatment by her clan even before the blood magic came into play, it's easy to assume that she had never found anyone special enough to really feel a sex drive. She makes remarks on shirtless Qunari, but at least for me, it struck me more as admiration than anything sexual. Ace/demisexuals can find people appealing to look at, but don't get turned on by it in a causal manner. Unlike Fenris, who isn't dissimilar in that respect, she doesn't start a relationship with another party member if left unromanced.
When David Gaider said that all of the LIs were bisexual, including Merrill, this was a disappointment for some players. Asexuality and the sexual identities associated with it, are rarely talked about in terms of romance in media in general. Merrill seemed like the perfect fit, and to have that taken away stung for some people.
Now, to be fair, I think it was a matter of not knowing what demisexuality was at the time. Which was understandable, since I didn't even know about it until just over a year ago. DG knew that Merrill wasn't asexual, and that she was interested in both genders. Try saying, bi-romantic demisexual elven romance three times fast.
So, this thread is around in the hopes that the devs read it and at least take it into consideration. They'll do as the wish for the characters, but for me, trying something like this sounds awesome coming from this company. Sometimes, it's not about what a character states that's important to people. Sometimes, it's just in what they do.
I'm not demisexual, so I'm not an expert. This is just what I've seen since this thread was created and there's a chance I'm not saying certain things correct. However, I'm happy to see that ace/demisexuals on the forums have a place to hang out and talk to each other while giving some cool character ideas we can all enjoy.
Edit: Wow, had to fix a very bad sentence. So sorry about that!
I thought that the purpose of this thread was that OP wanted representation to demisexuality and I don't know how that is possible if the devs don't say that this particular character is demisexual. Althought that is not problem if devs continue announcing the sexualities of the LIs. I also get the impression that one problem is that devs have announced sexualities of the LIs. I mean Merrill has been announced to be bisexual as well as Josephine. I know that this thread was made before DAI was released. Anyway it seems that the devs have created characters (Josephine and Merrill) who could be interpreted to be demisexuals but because they are announced to be bisexuals then they are not representing demisexuality which I thought was the purpose of this thread. I guess one way to take demisexuality into account is to create characters that don't show sexual attraction before they have formed a strong emotional connection with the PC even though they are announced to be as bisexuals for example.
"One made-up identity that really grinds my gears is “demisexuality.” A “demisexual” person is someone who can only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has been formed. Demisexuality, apparently, is a form of the asexuality. I don’t deny that asexuality is a legitimate orientation, but when I see people identifying as “demisexual,” I just see people trying to claim minority status by slapping a label on what is actually a very common inclination.
False. All sexualities have likely been in existence for thousands of years, but the recognition of the entire concept of sexual orientation is very recent. The first recognition that some individuals experience sexual attraction to members of their own sex was published in 1886; the Kinsey report in 1948, and the APA finally voted to remove homosexuality from the DSM in 1973.I know it is very controversial to question any orientation on the internet, but there is a point when the labels like this get ridiculous. Demisexuality was made up only a few years ago while all other sexualities have been around for thousands of years,
Everyone experiences sex and sexual attraction differently; having a slightly lower libido does not warrant a separate orientation nor put you on the same level as the millions of people around the world who suffer daily for theirs. In my experience, the “demisexual” community consists exclusively of straight people trying to piggy-back onto the LGBT movement."
Insisiting that your own personal understanding of attraction needs to be included in the game and trying to pass that off as a matter of LBG representation ultimately detracts from the real issues many gay, lesbian and bisexual people face.
Yeah, I completely agree with you.
Although I'm straight myself, I have friends who are still fighting for basic human rights, like marriage equality, adoption rights, and not being forced to go through sterilization to get their gender legally recognized (I mean, WTH? That's like literally the last acceptable form of eugenics left in our justice system! Maybe it's time we get rid of it - like, a couple decades ago?). Not to even talk about the subtle cultural microaggressions and the related BS, and the occasional physical acts of violence...
I mean, I get that not feeling like you're not represented sucks, and I will forever root for representation of all kinds, but comparing these issues with the kind of abuse and hardship sexual minorities have to go through regularly (sometimes daily) is really problematic in so many ways (even if it's unintentional), and it makes me really uncomfortable.
To get back to the subject of the OP.
I think its important to remember that romances are a side-feature, optional content, they don't have unlimited resources. One can't reasonably expect Bioware to represent every permutation of sexual orientation and attraction, especially a lesser known one such as this (This thread is the first I've ever heard of it).
That being said, if creating a demisexual romance just means writing a romance like Merril's, then it doesn't seem unreasonable.
GLBT persons certainly have endured a long, painful, uphill battle for social acceptance and legal rights.
But let's not dismiss the indignities, abuses, and injustices suffered by non-sexual people in a highly sexual world.
There's quite a bit of crap that single people have to navigate in a world built for couples. It can range from annoyances (having everyone you know try to hook you up) to mistrust (must be secretly a pedophile) to career bombs (only married people are promotable) to limited friendships (some coupled people won't socialize with singles) and various other social stigmas.
And, yeah, there are plenty of abuses, too.
Last year, the apparent bias against aces was corroborated by a landmark study conducted by Brock University researchers Gordon Hodson and Cara McInnis. The study found that people of all sexual stripes are more likely to discriminate against asexuals, compared to other sexual minorities.
"Most disturbingly, asexuals are viewed as less human, especially lacking in terms of human nature," the study authors wrote. "This confirms that sexual desire is considered a key component of human nature and those lacking it are viewed as relatively deficient, less human and disliked."
I think some of that is the mistrust thing I mentioned earlier. Sexual people have a lot of trouble understanding / appreciating those who aren't.
Asexuality is not a thing. You are just ugly and no one wanted to date you, so you made up a thing to cuddle your lonely self as you cry into your pillow. Also, I hope you get raped. It has a dual benefit, you'll get laid finally AND put you into your place as well."
"Corrective" rape is also apparently a thing for asexuals (and probably demis as well) - just as it has been for GLBT persons.
From where I sit, the recent posters trying to deny demisexuality sound a lot like the people trying to deny that GLBT persons deserve fair treatment.
Not saying there are not problems and prejudices, just saying that they are not systemic the way the prejudices the members of the LGBT community face. For example, if an ace-/demisexual person(s) want to marry, nobody requires them to proof they are having sex at least X times a week / month before they can be given a marriage license or rights to adopt. Neither can you lose your job if you boss decides you don't have enough sex or talk enough about having sex (whereas the opposite might be true for gay/bi folk, and just women in general), etc. People can be insensitive and even outright hateful without it being systemic discrimination. Also, this "highly sexualized world" isn't so great to us... what are we even? Sexy sexuals? Con-sexuals? (Actually, consexual sounds pretty rad, although a bit weird, since I doubt anyone on this planet is completely sexual all the time, but anyway). If anything, it's actually really hostile towards sexually active women in particular. And most of that is based on other related forms of oppression (like corrective rape, which is often a mix of misogyny and homophobia).
Also, I'm kinda having hard time imagining where this discrimination takes place. I mean, gay couples and trans folk who "don't pass" get harassed just for being in public, just like women can face sexual harassment anywhere, and POC can face racism anywhere just by "existing while black". Then there's the pronoun game and "what-do-I-call-my-significant-other-without-accidentally-outing-myself-to-a-homophobic-boss" -game the gay/bi people have to sometimes play at work just to keep their jobs. I mean, I don't know about other people, but I don't go around my workplace telling people about my criteria for sexual partners or when or at what point I am able or willing to sleep with someone. Remarks like that would in my opinion go way past the regular office break room small-talk like, for example, making an off-hand comment about a significant other (i.e. "last week me and by husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend did this and that"), which can get an LGBT person in trouble if they're not careful.
This whole conversation gives me flash-backs to that conversation in the LGBT community a few years back where there was talk on whether being into BDSM qualified as a queer identity. Back then many LGBT people found that problematic and pointed out that their human rights and being able to talk about their SS husband / wife in the office break room without the fear of being fired isn't quite the same as somebody else's perceived right to talk about their last scene without weirding people out. And yeah, I have to say I kinda agree. True, the prejudices against the BDSM community are unjust and outing people's preferences and mocking them is really heinous and generally against all common decency, but it's not nearly at the same level as the abuses suffered by the LGBT community.
So I wouldn't compare demi and ace discrimination with LGBT-related discrimination, no, and that's my only beef with this. Representation? All for it. Discussion on resources and awareness of different forms and levels of sexual and romantic attraction? Yes, please! We don't talk about these issues enough. But those discussions don't belong solely into the LGBT category. If anything, it's a much wider cultural discussion on sex and our cultural view of sex than a question of sexuality (since demi itself is not a sexual orientation but level of sexual attraction. Straight people can be ace or demi too, and claiming sexual minority or oppression based on just that seems kinda iffy to me as a straight person and an ally).
Ace (and by extension demi, because they come off as ace) are at risk for the exact same systematic harressement as LGBT.
I can't go to the LGBT commonity in my city. In part because I am bi romantic (that is not to well liked either, bi erasure is pretty big sadly), but also because I have an ace homosexual friend who was verbally assulted in the communuity.
And just a few years back some woman was on morning tv to explained about asexuality and do you know the comment on that program? The exact same insult that is slung at lesbian woman with everything from (she has not just met the right person) to suggestion of corrective rape (not explicit, but comments like. "I would like to meet her and teach her how a real d..." well you get the drift).
I can say who I am on the internet because most of you are at a pretty far distance away. But I am truely terrified of saying it to anyone I meet in person (who I don't know very, very well) because I do not know how they react, but there is a good chance it is not going to be pretty.
Just last week. I was flat out told by a person in my study group. That I was unnattural. (Well to be fair she said aces were unnatural. And didn't know I was one.)
Ace/Aro (and by extension demi) suffers from the exact persecution as the LGBT. It is the exact same thing being said to us as being said to LGBT people. And the worst part is that some of it comes from the LGBT - group.
Just because you don't see the harrasment, It doesn't mean that it isn't there. It is.
The only reason it is not visible yet. Is that asexuality is still relative unknown. But as soon as people hear that you don't want sex they react very strongly and in a manner akin to discovering somebody sleeping wiht the same sex, decades ago.
I just occur to me that I am becoming pretty political here, and in an attempt to rerail the thread.
If we get a demi-sexual romance in da4 (or any other game). How would you like it to differ from Merill's? (since we are not going to get the same romance twice).
I have personally already stated I want someone not timid, so I can't be just read as shyness. But what are your wishes?
That sounds interesting, but you ask the wrong question. Rather than "a request for demisexuality in bioware games", it should be a request for a demisexual character in a Bioware game. This is the difference between asking for a female protagonist and asking for a good, strong, protagonist who is female. Like all of these ideas for whatever kind of romance, you have to write the core character properly first. The fact that there is no superficial interest from the character towards the PC or anyone initially could be very interesting, especially set against a "hits on everything that moves" character. But there must be a plan and a strong character written, with this being one of their characteristics. We've already seen the poor results when Bioware just shoves things in to pander to one demographic.
How would you see it manifesting though? More specifically, how would that be any different than locking the romance behind an approval rating as in Dragon Age Origins?
One way is to have a character would will not flirt unless they have a pretty high aprroval (And just to make it explicit I imagine it to be around 80 %).
Otherwise, it could be someone where flirting at them with low approval wouldn't gain affection. (not necessarily negative affection, but just nothing.)
It could also be someone stating something so simple as. "I don't feel attracted to someone unless I love them first." (Since I don't think thedosian have developed a langue that can express the difference between romantic attraction and sexual attraction.)
It could also be an nice contrast to the everything that moves characters. (There could be some interesting banter, I imagine.)
Ace (and by extension demi, because they come off as ace) are at risk for the exact same systematic harressement as LGBT.
I can't go to the LGBT commonity in my city. In part because I am bi romantic (that is not to well liked either, bi erasure is pretty big sadly), but also because I have an ace homosexual friend who was verbally assulted in the communuity.
And just a few years back some woman was on morning tv to explained about asexuality and do you know the comment on that program? The exact same insult that is slung at lesbian woman with everything from (she has not just met the right person) to suggestion of corrective rape (not explicit, but comments like. "I would like to meet her and teach her how a real d..." well you get the drift).
I can say who I am on the internet because most of you are at a pretty far distance away. But I am truely terrified of saying it to anyone I meet in person (who I don't know very, very well) because I do not know how they react, but there is a good chance it is not going to be pretty.
Just last week. I was flat out told by a person in my study group. That I was unnattural. (Well to be fair she said aces were unnatural. And didn't know I was one.)
Ace/Aro (and by extension demi) suffers from the exact persecution as the LGBT. It is the exact same thing being said to us as being said to LGBT people. And the worst part is that some of it comes from the LGBT - group.
Just because you don't see the harrasment, It doesn't mean that it isn't there. It is.
The only reason it is not visible yet. Is that asexuality is still relative unknown. But as soon as people hear that you don't want sex they react very strongly and in a manner akin to discovering somebody sleeping wiht the same sex, decades ago.
But we're not talking about asexuality, we're talking about demisexuality. I seriously doubt that anybody would face harassment because they don't want to have physical relationships with people unless they have a strong emotional attachment. In fact, that's generally regarded as a good thing by society. Nobody is going to lose their jobs, be yelled at on the street or be disowned by their families because they aren't attracted to people unless they have an emotional connection with them. There is no law anywhere in the world that condemns demisexual people to death. Why would anyone outside of potential partners or close friends/family even know?
How can your friend be both asexual and homosexual? That makes absolutely no sense.
But we're not talking about asexuality, we're talking about demisexuality. I seriously doubt that anybody would face harassment because they don't want to have physical relationships with people unless they have a strong emotional attachment. In fact, that's generally regarded as a good thing by society. Nobody is going to lose their jobs, be yelled at on the street or be disowned by their families because they aren't attracted to people unless they have an emotional connection with them. There is no law anywhere in the world that condemns demisexual people to death. Why would anyone outside of potential partners or close friends/family even know?
Well (just to better understand where you are coming) are you arguing that it is not a good thing to generally have physical relationships only when you have a strong emotional attachment?
The part that is misunderstood by the world at large isn't the "strong emotional attachment" part, it's the fact that it's that (like Taylor Swift or something) in conjunction with being.. how should I phrase this... a pretty strong controlling/mercenary aspect (to put it bluntly).
You are right being a helpless high spirited virgin who accepts everything or something is not misunderstood or even a minority (well........ maybe it is to be honest), but being a vicious one is.
Retour en haut