2292 réponses à ce sujet

[chibielf]

Can I just say how much I love the fact we are calling ourselves the wolf pack!

[Avejajed]

And here- we all thought Fenris had something to do with wolves at the beginning.

 

Question for you all much smarter people than I- What did the nightmare demon say to Solas in the fade in Elvish?

 

Also: Finally broke down and made a elf mage- just for Solas, really. I'm about 80 percent done with my first playthrough so I'll probably wait to get too into it with her until I'm done.

[Solas]

It said,

Dirth ma, harellan. [dirth = tell/speak, ma=me/mine, harellan= trickster/traitor to one's kind - but note that the Dalish maybe mistranslated this and it may mean something closer to god of rebellion, as the ancient root words mean noble struggle and opposition. this comes from a codex entry]

 

so that part is basically, Tell me, trickster or Speak, my Dread Wolf - something like that

 

Then it says Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din

ma = me/mine, banal = nothing, enasal means to be grateful for being able to withstand loss [I assume -in is a suffix]. I don't know what mar is but suspect it is related to ma. Solas=pride/to stand tall, though of course it could be his name. Ena = appear/emerge, din= not/isn't, also used to mean someone that has died and is no more.

 

that part is more difficult for me to work out what it means, I'm not sure.

 

Solas responds, banal nadas. Banal (nothing) nadas (inevitable). So basically, nothing is inevitable

[NeverlandHunter]

It said,
Dirth ma, harellan. [dirth = tell/speak, ma=me/mine, harellan= trickster/traitor to one's kind - but note that the Dalish maybe mistranslated this and it may mean something closer to god of rebellion, as the ancient root words mean noble struggle and opposition. this comes from a codex entry]
 
so that part is basically, Tell me, trickster or Speak, my Dread Wolf - something like that
 
Then it says Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din
ma = me/mine, banal = nothing, enasal means to be grateful for being able to withstand loss [I assume -in is a suffix]. I don't know what mar is but suspect it is related to ma. Solas=pride/to stand tall, though of course it could be his name. Ena = appear/emerge, din= not/isn't, also used to mean someone that has died and is no more.
 
that part is more difficult for me to work out what it means, I'm not sure.
 
Solas responds, banal nadas. Banal (nothing) nadas (inevitable). So basically, nothing is inevitable

Lavellan didn't pick up on that? I'm question ing her elvish.

[Solas]

Yeah that did bug me a bit because she clearly speaks enough elven to know imo.

 

If you select angry responses to the breakup she says, Banal abelas! Banal vhenan!

and she understands what Solas says to the spirit in elvish in his personal quest when it dies as well because she's like "I heard what it said". :S

[NeverlandHunter]

Yeah that did bug me a bit because she clearly speaks enough elven to know imo.
 
If you select angry responses to the breakup she says, Banal abelas! Banal vhenan!
and she understands what Solas says to the spirit in elvish in his personal quest when it dies as well because she's like "I heard what it said". :S

She's in denial. No way she doesn't know what's going on X)

[Solas]

Plus imagine all the knowledge she has about ancient elves/gods if she drank from the Well... I bet that would help her figure it out.

[NeverlandHunter]

Hmm. Yeah about the well. I'm thinking it will only work when Mythal commands it. So if Mythal has no use for you then you get nothing from the well. Thoughts?

[Nika]

You guys are perceptive, I never even noticed xD
I guess she really is kind of in denial? It's probably hard to believe that the dude you did the fade tongue with could be dread wolf himself
But she really should know at the end with what Leliana tells her

[Nhadalie]

I think the reason Lavellan doesn't pick up on it is because it's kind of vague. Many of the words have different meanings, and a lot of what is said is inferred. I translated it roughly to "Tell me, Dread wolf. How do you like your gift of nothing? Solas, you appear not."

 

Then if Solas replies that nothing is inevitable. It seems like he's aware that Lavellan could figure it out. He's still afraid of them learning his secret. But it seems an appropriate response to "I KNOW YOUR SECRET, DREAD WOLF. I COULD TELL EVERYONE! MWAHAHAHA!". Especially because of how the other people with you responded about him talking to them.

 

The Dalish have never been shown to know large amounts of Elvish.(Other than Marethari and Merill during DA2.) They seem to know a certain amount of it, but how different it is from older Elvish isn't really clear. Solas probably speaks a more archaic form, which the fear demon probably used. Since languages change over time.

 

I think Lavellan would be severely confused with what was said. She probably saw the tombstone that said Solas was afraid of dying alone, and assumed that that was what the demon was referring to.

[scintilla]

I have been away, busily playing the game, so I haven't kept up well. Have we discussed what we think he's up to? He seems to take either of the top options after the Temple of Mythal plot to encourage whatever plan he has (whether you say you want to make things better or set them back the way they were before Corypheus).

 

I'm expecting well intentioned extremist shenanigans.

[Avejajed]

It said,

Dirth ma, harellan. [dirth = tell/speak, ma=me/mine, harellan= trickster/traitor to one's kind - but note that the Dalish maybe mistranslated this and it may mean something closer to god of rebellion, as the ancient root words mean noble struggle and opposition. this comes from a codex entry]

 

so that part is basically, Tell me, trickster or Speak, my Dread Wolf - something like that

 

Then it says Ma banal enasalin. Mar solas ena mar din

ma = me/mine, banal = nothing, enasal means to be grateful for being able to withstand loss [I assume -in is a suffix]. I don't know what mar is but suspect it is related to ma. Solas=pride/to stand tall, though of course it could be his name. Ena = appear/emerge, din= not/isn't, also used to mean someone that has died and is no more.

 

that part is more difficult for me to work out what it means, I'm not sure.

 

Solas responds, banal nadas. Banal (nothing) nadas (inevitable). So basically, nothing is inevitable

 

Thank you! I didn't see this earlier from my phone (getting to groups is hard in the mobile version). I appreciate your response and the response I got in the thread as well.

 

Let me ask another question: Is there some sort of Dragon Age Elvish dictionary online? How do you find these?

[scintilla]

Thank you! I didn't see this earlier from my phone (getting to groups is hard in the mobile version). I appreciate your response and the response I got in the thread as well.

 

Let me ask another question: Is there some sort of Dragon Age Elvish dictionary online? How do you find these?

 

There's the wiki: http://dragonage.wik.../Elven_language

[Deadman Inc. 73]

This is my Solas Romance song

[NeverlandHunter]

I think the reason Lavellan doesn't pick up on it is because it's kind of vague. Many of the words have different meanings, and a lot of what is said is inferred. I translated it roughly to "Tell me, Dread wolf. How do you like your gift of nothing? Solas, you appear not."
 
Then if Solas replies that nothing is inevitable. It seems like he's aware that Lavellan could figure it out. He's still afraid of them learning his secret. But it seems an appropriate response to "I KNOW YOUR SECRET, DREAD WOLF. I COULD TELL EVERYONE! MWAHAHAHA!". Especially because of how the other people with you responded about him talking to them.
 
The Dalish have never been shown to know large amounts of Elvish.(Other than Marethari and Merill during DA2.) They seem to know a certain amount of it, but how different it is from older Elvish isn't really clear. Solas probably speaks a more archaic form, which the fear demon probably used. Since languages change over time.
 
I think Lavellan would be severely confused with what was said. She probably saw the tombstone that said Solas was afraid of dying alone, and assumed that that was what the demon was referring to.

Haha. Yeah there might be a simple explanation for her not understanding, but it's funier to think she knows something's going on a and chooses to ignore it.

[DragonRacer]

I don't know if it was this thread or the regular Solas thread (I was reading both) but somebody mentioned a rumor that Patrick Weekes said he listened to Sarah McLachlan's "Surfacing" when writing, I can totally believe it. I popped it up on my IPod and dang the song "Do What You Have to Do" is so fitting to Solas's romance.

 

And you know what? Loved that album when I was a teen and I had thought maybe he meant it was the album he listened to while writing Cole because I remembered the album being sweet and sad... and now that I'm revisiting it, it's so ridiculously Solas/Lavellan.

 

I mean, seriously. READ THESE LYRICS. OF EVERY SONG. OMG, YOU GUYS.

 

I'll save you the trouble of Google-Fu, even:

 

"Building A Mystery"

Spoiler

You come out at night
That's when the energy comes
And the dark side's light
And the vampires roam
You strut your rasta wear
And your suicide poem
And a cross from a faith that died
Before Jesus came
You're building a mystery

You live in a church
Where you sleep with voodoo dolls
And you won't give up the search
For the ghosts in the halls
You wear sandals in the snow
And a smile that won't wash away
Can you look out the window
Without your shadow getting in the way?

You're so beautiful
With an edge and charm
But so careful
When I'm in your arms

[Chorus]
'Cause you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

You woke up screaming aloud
A prayer from your secret god
You feed off our fears
And hold back your tears, oh
Give us a tantrum
And a know it all grin
Just when we need one
When the evening's thin

You're a beautiful
A beautiful f**ked up man
You're setting up your
Razor wire shrine

'Cause you're working
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

Oh, you're working, 
Building a mystery
Holding on and holding it in
Yeah you're working
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully
Yeah, you're working,
Building a mystery,
Holding on and holding it in,
Oh yeah you're working,
Building a mystery
And choosing so carefully

You're building a mystery.

 

"I Love You"

Spoiler

I have a smile 
Stretched from ear to ear 
To see you walking down the road 
We meet at the lights 
I stare for a while 
The world around us disappears 
It's just you and me 
On my island of hope 
A breath between us could be miles 
Let me surround you 
My sea to your shore 
Let me be the calm you seek 
Oh and every time I'm close to you 
There's too much I can't say 
And you just walk away 
And I forgot 
To tell you 
I love you 
And the night's 
Too long 
And cold here 
Without you 
I grieve in my condition 
For I cannot find the words to say I need you so 
Oh and every time I'm close to you 
There's too much I can't say 
And you just walk away 
And I forgot 
To tell you 
I love you 
And the night's 
Too long 
And cold here 
Without you 
I grieve in my condition 
For I cannot find the words to say I need you so

 

"Sweet Surrender"

Spoiler

It doesn't mean much 
It doesn't mean anything at all 
The life I've left behind me 
Is a cold room 

I've crossed the last line 
From where I can't return 
Where every step I took in faith 
Betrayed me 
And led me from my home 

[Chorus]
Sweet surrender 
Is all that I have to give 

You take me in 
No questions asked 
You strip away the ugliness 
That surrounds me 

Are you an angel 
Am I already that gone 
I only hope 
That I won't disappoint you 

When I'm down here 
On my knees 

[Chorus: x2]

And I don't understand 
By the touch of your hand 
I would be the one to fall 
I miss the little things 
I miss everything, about you

It doesn't mean much 
It doesn't mean anything at all 
The life I've left behind me 
Is a cold room

[Chorus: x2]

 

"Adia"

Spoiler

Adia I do believe I failed you 
Adia I know I've let you down 
Don't you know I tried so hard 
To love you in my way 
It's easy let it go

Adia I'm empty since you left me 
Trying to find a way to carry on 
I search myself and everyone 
To see where we went wrong 

'Cause there's no one left to finger 
There's no one here to blame 
There's no one left to talk to, honey 
And there ain't no one to buy our innocence 

'Cause we are born innocent 
Believe me Adia, we are still innocent 
It's easy, we all falter 
Does it matter? 

Adia I thought that we could make it 
But I know I can't change the way you feel 
I leave you with your misery 
A friend who won't betray 
I pull you from your tower 
I take away your pain 
And show you all the beauty you possess 
If you'd only let yourself believe that 

We are born innocent 
Believe me Adia, we are still innocent 
It's easy, we all falter, does it matter? 
Believe me Adia, we are still innocent 
'Cause we are born innocent 
Adia we are still innocent 
It's easy, we all falter, but does it matter?

'Cause we are born innocent 
Believe me Adia, we are still innocent 
It's easy, we all falter 
Does it matter?

Believe me Adia, we are still innocent
'Cause we are born innocent 
Believe me Adia, we are still innocent
It's easy, we all falter
does it matter?

 

"Do What You Have To Do"

Spoiler

What ravages of spirit 
Conjured this tempestuous rage 
Created you a monster 
Broken by the rules of love 
And fate has lead you through it 
You do what you have to do 
And fate has led you through it 
You do what you have to do 
And I have the sense to recognize that 
I don't know how to let you go 
Every moment marked 
With apparitions of your soul 
I'm ever swiftly moving 
Trying to escape this desire 
The yearning to be near you 
I do what I have to do 
The yearning to be near you 
I do what I have to do 
But I have the sense to recognize 
That I don't know how 
To let you go 
I don't know how 
To let you go 
A glowing ember 
Burning hot 
Burning slow 
Deep within I'm shaken by the violence 
Of existing for only you 
I know I can't be with you 
I do what I have to do 
I know I can't be with you 
I do what I have to do 
And I have sense to recognize but 
I don't know how to let you go 
I don't know how to let you go 
I don't know how to let you go

 

"Witness"

Spoiler

Make me a witness
Take me out
Out of darkness
Out of doubt

I won't weigh you down
With good intention
Won't make fire out of clay
Or other inventions

Will we burn in heaven
Like we do down here
Will the change come
While we're waiting

Everyone is waiting

And when we're done
Soul searching
As we carried the weight
And died for the cause
Is misery
Made beautiful
Right before our eyes
Will mercy be revealed
Or blind us where we stand

Will we burn in heaven
Like we do down here
Will the change come while we're waiting
Everyone is waiting

Make me a witness
Take me out
Out of darkness
Out of doubt

 

"Angel"

Spoiler

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance,
For a break that would make it okay.

There's always some reason
To feel not good enough,
And it's hard, at the end of the day.

I need some distraction,
Oh, beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins.

And maybe empty,
Oh, and weightless, and maybe 
I'll find some peace tonight.

In the arms of the angel,
Fly away from here,
From this dark, cold hotel room,
And the endlessness that you fear.
You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your silent reverie.
You're in the arms of the angel,
May you find some comfort here.

So tired of the straight line,
And everywhere you turn,
There's vultures and thieves at your back.

The storm keeps on twisting.
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack.

It don't make no difference,
Escape one last time.
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,
Oh, this glorious sadness,
That brings me to my knees.

In the arms of the angel,
Fly away from here,
From this dark, cold hotel room,
And the endlessness that you fear.
You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your silent reverie.
You're in the arms of the angel,
May you find some comfort here.

You're in the arms of the angel,
May you find some comfort here.

 

"Black & White"

Spoiler

Unravel me 
A distant cord 
On the outside is forgotten 
A constant need 
To get along 
And the animal awakens 
And all I feel is black and white 
The road is long 
The memory slides 
To the whole of my undoing 
Put aside 
I put away 
I push it back to get through each day 
And all I feel is black and white 
And I'm wound up small and tight 
And I don't know who I am 
Everybody loves you when you're easy 
Everybody hates when you're a bore 
Everyone is waiting for your entrance so 
Don't disappoint them 
Unravel me 
Untie this chord 
The very center of our union 
Is caving in 
I can't endure 
I am the archive of our failure 
And all I feel is black and white 
And I'm wound up small and tight 
And I don't know who I am 
Everybody loves you when you're easy 
Everybody hates when you're a bore 
Everyone is waiting for your entrance so 
Don't disappoint them 
Everybody loves you when you're easy so 
Don't disappoint them 
Don't disappoint them

 

"Full of Grace"

Spoiler

The winter here's cold and bitter 
It's chilled us to the bone 
We haven't seen the sun for weeks 
To long too far from home 
I feel just like I'm sinking 
And I claw for solid ground 
I'm pulled down by the undertow 
I never thought I could feel so low 
Oh darkness I feel like letting go 
If all of the strength and all of the courage 
Come and lift me from this place 
I know I could love you much better than this 
Full of grace 
Full of grace 
My love 
So it's better this way, I said 
Having seen this place before 
Where everything we said and did 
Hurts us all the more 
Its just that we stayed, too long 
In the same old sickly skin 
I'm pulled down by the undertow 
I never thought I could feel so low 
Oh darkness I feel like letting go 
If all of the strength 
And all of the courage 
Come and lift me from this place 
I know I could love you much better than this 
Full of grace 
Full of grace 
My love

 

"Last Dance"

This is purely an instrumental. The title is quite fitting, though, all things considered.

 

I'M EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED WITH BIOTEARS. 

[chibielf]

https://m.youtube.co...h?v=isISBRpHNzY

Apparently you can punch Solas! How awful Why I have no idea. It's a human inquisitor though.
Anyone play a human and are good friend with Solas? I just rolled a human and I'm hearing its hard to get him to trust you.

[Mims]

Wow. 

 

Yeah, I would probably be regretting that punch after the end revelation. [On the other hand- 'Hey, I punched a god!'] 

[Solas]

LOL wow. I had wanted to see that scene so thanks very much for linking it.

 

I completely adore Solas - more than any BW LI to date - but my Lavellan is a furious, aggressive hardnut and there were a lot of times she wanted to punch him hahahaha

[Solas]

Also yeah the elven wiki is where I go to translate things, just a note it hasn't been updated with the new elvish we've gotten from DA:I yet though.

 

I'm not sure how archaic Solas's elvish must be... he exchanges several lines with the spirit in his personal quest and Lavellan understood all of that fine enough. In addition "harellan" isn't an archaic elvish word I think, as we read in a Codex entry that it has an ancient root word so it's not super ancient in itself.

[scintilla]

And you know what? Loved that album when I was a teen and I had thought maybe he meant it was the album he listened to while writing Cole because I remembered the album being sweet and sad... and now that I'm revisiting it, it's so ridiculously Solas/Lavellan.

 

I don't disagree but I'm also certain he said somewhere that the Sarah McLachlan stuff was on his Cole playlist. It's probably in a tweet somewhere out there.

[NeverlandHunter]

https://m.youtube.co...h?v=isISBRpHNzY



Apparently you can punch Solas! How awful Why I have no idea. It's a human inquisitor though.
Anyone play a human and are good friend with Solas? I just rolled a human and I'm hearing its hard to get him to trust you.

Jeez. X) what did he do?

[NeverlandHunter]

I have been away, busily playing the game, so I haven't kept up well. Have we discussed what we think he's up to? He seems to take either of the top options after the Temple of Mythal plot to encourage whatever plan he has (whether you say you want to make things better or set them back the way they were before Corypheus).

I'm expecting well intentioned extremist shenanigans.

Hmm. Solas is a mystery . My thoughts are way too jumbled about him to make any type of intelligent guess about what the heck he's doing.

I'll just say that I'm curious to how long he's been awake (since he had been gone sleeping or whatever crazy wolfspirits do) since he said he's visited Ostagar and other recent placed.
Oh, and who possessed who, and if it was willing. And what the orb was for.... And what he wanted to do with it... And okay things are getting out of hand.

[Prince of Keys]

https://m.youtube.co...h?v=isISBRpHNzY

Apparently you can punch Solas! How awful Why I have no idea. It's a human inquisitor though.
Anyone play a human and are good friend with Solas? I just rolled a human and I'm hearing its hard to get him to trust you.

 

D: Oh gosh, poor Solas. That looked like it hurt.

 

I have a human Inquisitor... Solas really doesn't like her. She asked to learn more about him and he refuses to say anything to her. Which is part of the reason I've been wandering around with my Lavellan for hours and hours instead of playing as my other Inquisitors, WHOOPS.

[Miss This or That]

So...I just finished my Solas x Lavellan oneshot. It turned out as sad as I had imagined, but I thought I could put it in here anyway. Maybe you guys like it? I'm still debating on creating a fanfiction.net account. Maybe I will put it on there eventually.

 

I listened to this song while writing it:

 

Spoiler

 

And here is the oneshot:

 

Spoiler

As real as reality had felt, it was now nothing more but a fleeting thought, thrown away by cold hands that tried so hard not to grasp onto the last straw of hope. Lost through the words spoken by a voice that was a mere memory, embedded in nothing more but half dried tears. Was it worth it in the end? She wondered endlessly, even in her dreams, in these false worlds of graceful happiness and wonderful temptation. Wondered if there was a way to know why it was the only possible solution to a problem that she couldn’t even understand in the first place. But sometimes she could see his fleeting form, standing at the edge of a glistening lake, waiting for her to return to him. One step forward and he was gone again, gone just like the water, gone like the spiritual atmosphere and replaced by a stinging pain instead.

The cold nights hadn’t been kind on her trembling body, numbing her skin even more and turning it into an empty shell that she found impossible to fit into. She often cried in her slumber and today was no different, but the tears were far from being fresh. They had left salty ruins on her flesh, fallen empires build out of sorrow itself. And they hurt in a way only tears could hurt.

 

The deepness of the night hugged her tightly still and a fleeting thought crossed her mind, for far much longer than what was good for her. She couldn’t let it go, though, the fear of losing that one lingering fantasy would drive her mad. It woke her, in the end, and she felt the cold sweat travelling down her chin – or was it a trail of tears, instead? So she asked herself, wherever he was now...would he, could he cry too? Was he feeling that same emptiness that filled one’s body with the bitter kind of dread? It was indeed a terrible feeling, far worse than any battle scar she had received in her life. The world was cruel to allow such heartache when wounds themselves could heal, but this pain could not. It was better, sometimes, but always just for as long as others kept her company – which had become the normality by now. The night would come sooner or later, though, and engulf her in that eternal sadness once more.

 

But even the chilling winds couldn’t stop her from asking countless questions, questions that would, probably, never receive an answer. For the winter howled at her doorstep, but never to bring anything more than a hushed whisper. Sometimes Leliana would come, a single word on her lips, one that she had learned to keep in her heart at any times: Nothing - because there was never anything new, there was just the same old routine with the same old heartbreak. But maybe, just maybe tomorrow would be different, and then-

 

“No”, she breathed, a drained voice full of sleep and sleeplessness at the same time.

Something began to rustle in the far corner of the room, a shadowy place with only a single ray of moonlight giving it company. It was just enough to give the person away. She wasn’t afraid of this sight by now, though, had learned to appreciate the boyish figure with the silly hat that came and watched over her each and every time he could spare a moment or two. He was huddled in the corner the same way as ever, but this time, there were unspoken words on his lips. She was only able to see them after he had raised his head upon realizing that she was looking at him through the darkness. And he stood up and came closer, until he was standing right beside her, face filled with worry.

 

“It bothers her”, is what he muttered; a sentence that wanted to disconnect her from her own pain, but he failed in succeeding. Still, it was an unspoken rule between the two to never address her by any other word, because it gave her a false sense of security, as if this wasn’t happening to her but someone far, far away. As if it was just another legend to be told.

 

She laughed dryly. “It always does. She misses him...but I appreciate your concern, Cole.”

 

The spirit nodded, lost in thought, to show her that he was indeed there and would not leave anytime soon. But then he began to shake his head, as if there was more to say. Because there was – there was so much more that needed to be said, because burying them would result in even more pain.

 

“But that isn’t all. She’s hurting, howling for something true to come to her when all she hears are empty words. And there is more.”

 

She shuddered, not because of the cold air hugging her skin, but from the words of her friend alone. Unable to lie in her bed any longer she finally sat up and invited him to sit next to her. It took him a while to do so, as he was too busy whispering more and more fears that she tried to keep away from everyone – everyone but him, for he could see right through people.

 

“...what else is there?”, is what she asked, the tiniest hint of fear cutting through the air as the words left her mouth.

Cole sighed and his pale fingers removed the hat that he had worn; they grasped the material firmly. It seemed as if he did so simply to show that he, too, wouldn’t hide when her problems laid out clear in front of him. But it was just of minor help. “Had he forgotten her the way she started forgetting details about him? She wonders. Scratches her own heart because it bleeds and the pain won’t stop.”

 

The spirit stopped, searched for a way to determine if it was alright to carry on. A painful nod was all that he needed, but she stared at him in shock instead. As if this revelation had just truly sunken in, with her heart a shattered mess on the ground. She began to sob quietly, because tears wouldn’t come. Had she cried too much this night already? They still showed their crusty remains on her face with seas of red-wounded lines keeping them company. Against everything, though, she still urged him to continue, if only so that her crying couldn’t be heard quite as clearly.

 

“The first thing that she forgot was his scent. She can only remember how comfortable she was in his arms, but that old scent of wisdom – there is no way she knows. It’s gone, gone like so many more small details. She can’t forget him and yet she does.”

 

Another stop, but this time it was far shorter than the first one. Cole stood up and his feet dragged him towards the closed curtains that only let that one ray of moonlight pass through. He opened them, revealing a shining moon, a full orb that looked down on Thedas to listen to the world’s rotten sorrows.

 

And then, still standing with his back to her, he went on, his voice faltering here and there, as if he himself couldn’t quite put her troubled feelings into words. “Then she forgot his voice. Not his words, they remained with her, but the sounds they would make in her ears. They were just passing through, important enough to remember, but too quick to catch. Ar lath ma, vhenan, he told her. But when she speaks those words they are so very different.”

 

“...you don’t pronounce them like he did, but yet you do, do you? He...his voice, it was filled with...I cannot put it into words, Cole! Cole, you are right, I do. I do forget it all.” The tears were falling, now, and the soft smile on the lips of the spirit once he decided to look at her again couldn’t stop them from doing so. She couldn’t even keep the charade up any longer. “What else is there?”

 

His lips formed words again. “She can’t remember-“

 

But she stopped him from telling them the way he had intended. “No, no Cole. I can’t remember.”

 

He started anew, then, tiptoed to her, took her hand and went towards the window so she, too, could see the moon that they stood under, hidden away by the well-known walls of Skyhold. “...you can’t remember the way touches felt. They are like the cold winter wind, gone in-between moments. The only thing that is left behind is the numbness of your skin and you feel it pierce your heart. You try to rip it out of your body, but it isn’t possible. And you wonder so much if that is all there can be.

 

In the end, you cannot even remember a face or the looks that were shared, because you try to keep these memories in a cage, but they flee every time you fall into slumber. And then you smell again, hear again, feel again, see again and it is too much to handle.

 

And you wonder if it is the same for everyone; if it is just like what you feel or completely different. If it was all real or just a dream that was weaved to catch you in it like a spider trapped in its own net. He believes you were the one that trapped him.”

 

The tears stopped, oh so suddenly, replaced by a lost, longing look instead. She simply gazed at the moon and listened to the howling of the midnight wolves that had lent their ears to acknowledge her suffering. They made her feel at peace, as if there lived a single moment in which there was nothing to fear or feel sad over.

 

“He wants to eat his own heart to stop the pain and scratches it away, piece by piece, just like you do, in the hope of finally ending his regret. But just like you, he forgets while he cannot forget. And he yearns for more because he is selfish enough to have fallen into a deep slumber far better than dreaming. But it turned into a nightmare, one that he simply cannot wake up from, and it destroys him from the inside.”

 

Cole turned his attention away from the moon, unnoticed by her, and his gaze fell onto the snow-covered trees and the shadow that walked between them. It was a figure covered in old silk that made him appear almost foreign, if it wasn’t for the hurt in his eyes. But even the spirit could only see the dark outline that he represented. The rest, the feelings, simply came to him like messages whispered by the winter breeze.

 

“...it is a wonderful night, isn’t it?”, she asked Cole, the tears still rested against her cheeks and travelled down her face, but the tiniest hint of a smile was on her lips. She was, indeed, quite at peace and war all at once. “I am glad that you told me this, Cole.”

 

“He wishes for you to be happy, you see? You should run around with that curious gaze in your eyes, that shimmering glimmer that made him feel alive. Because he loves it, loves you, loves everything about you and yet-“

 

He stopped, and she was left puzzled.

 

“Cole?”

 

He hesitated for a long time, longer than she remembered him ever hesitating.

 

“No, I shouldn’t speak more. But I need to ask because I do not know...is it still real, that feeling?”

 

She did not understand – but spoke the truth, all the same.

 

“How could it not be, Cole? It is as real as any other, even more so, not clouded by dreams or nightmares. It’s here, always, and I can’t let it go.”

 

That was all that he needed to hear.

 

“I am glad, then. Glad and troubled all the same because you cannot let go. It is strange.”

 

This made her smile, a real smile for the first time in the last few days.

 

“Strange, maybe, but what isn’t strange in this day and age? I still love him.”

 

He raised his voice again.

 

“You do?”

 

A simple nod.

 

“I do.”

 

Silence filled the night as the wolves stopped their howling.

 

And in the dead of the night, between rows of trees that were still far enough away to turn shapes into shadows, there stood a single man, his face filled with longing.

 

He turned away eventually, but not before letting tears fall to the ground that crystallised in the cold grasp of winter.

 

In the end, they were the only clear indication that he had been there at all.