I would argue that it was the industry that shaped the minds of the gamers to think a certain way. Who pushed HD graphics first, the gamers or the industry?
Only for those that aren't independent developers. It's almost always been an issue when developers have had to rely on funding from an outside source that has shareholders. This is why kickstarter began.
I'm not a game developer, so I can't say for certain where the money goes to. That said, many developers have started to use in-house dev tools like Frostbite, which can be updated and molded to fit any game EA has in development. It is logical to assume that this would be more cost effective than maintaining more than one engine or licensing a third-party engine like Unreal.
Game engine use has nothing to do (inherently) with graphics. It is the garage of the game design industry - it can be designed to be more accomodating, able to fit more tools and give space for more cars. But ultimately it is merely the stage for where design decisions are made. Unity can be used to make games as simple as a text based adventure or as resource heavy as a AAA FPS. The same could be said of Frostbite. It is nice that engine consolidation is happening, but it is not the biggest source of game development dollars. Having a team of hundreds of artists, animators and cinematic developers, however, IS.
Kickstarter is a good solution, I agree. However, it means that the biggest budget a more sensible game will have is around a million dollars. There is little middle ground between a $200 million dollar AAA blockbuster and a shoestring budget indie title of less than a million. The reason why is that development studios can't effectively make a game without all the bells and whistles of a top-shelf AAA game, complete with 1080p rendering, high res textures, full cast voice acting and movie-like cinematics.
I blame the gamers, not the developers. People are pulled in more easily to the flash and dazzle, to be sure. But it still doesn't make the reality any less bum-out-ish to me.