Wow, much prejudice and condescension I sense in you.
You're right. I should remember that there are city elves among the ranks of Grey Wardens and Tevinter mages who do have power.
Arranged marriages are not anywhere near on par with what the Dalish get up to. Summoning demons, killing innocent humans, killing extra mages...
Again, city elves can't do any of that as a society. City elf mages get taken to the Circle (and of course after that, we get Huon), weapons are banned on pain of death, so killing innocent humans is a severe unlikelihood, and again, they can't determine the fate of their own mages (also, it only seems to be Minaeve's clan that's that harsh, as the Alerion, Sabrae and Lavellan clans all practice that mage-exchange thing, and Zathrian's clan had no evidence of it being otherwise, given that Lanaya never made it sound at all like her rivals in First testing might die).