Here's a thing, said the Diabolus Advocati, in essay numba elebenty-ten...
This is what repeated gameus interruptus looks like:
The problem with Patch 5 or the beta or circle-jerk 2015, whatever it's called, who cares? - is the expectation and anticipation. People are projecting so much crap onto this thing - fueled by the occasional and contradictory "Oh, it's smooth and silky on your thighs" or "it treats you like a 2 dollar trollop!" that it seems that they're losing sight of certain realities.
Here's a plan - cut this crap out.
Here's the reality: This patch is precisely nothing until it drops and actually disappoints pretty much everyone. Personally, I'm expecting it to do nothing nor am I anticipating it until it actually lands - whenever that might be, but I can guaran-damn-tee you it won't be anytime soon, even with the eager, eager hands all gropin' and squeezin'. Getting all jittery and angsty over this does no one any good. So many are acting like the kid three weeks from Xmas who was promised that awesome black bike with the banana seat and sissybars. What will happen instead is y'all go screaming downstairs on the day only to find painful socks from yer Grandmam and a half-eaten ham sandwich with two cigarette burns on it in a badly-wrapped box and your mother calling you an ungrateful d!ck that ruined Xmas with yer whinin'.
We'll get what we get. It won't be what we want and it will please some and enrage others and most will just go "well, yeah, okay, I guess it was too much to hope for" and wait until the next one - probably to fix this one. The main issues people wanted - better controls, less screw-ups - have already been said to be months away in some nebulous future patch that is also nothing but barnyard air until it too is an actual thing. That one is even more unlikely to ever exist. I can faintly hear the ephemeral excuse six months from now of "there wasn't any real demand..." This lust for new control schemes? You are a minority. They are not going to pander to you no matter how much you yell. This is a console port and on the console the controls work just fine. On the PC they work fine being a straightforward scheme for a shooter. Treat it like a shooter and you 'win'. So, no real priority. Too bad for you. Wait til the modders fix it, because they're the only ones who will.
Let's not forget that we're dealing with EA here. They are trying to exploit your faint hope that maybe you'll get what you pay for when you already know they don't care if you do and you won't no matter how much 'work' they put into 'fixing' things. They've proven time and time again they don't give two craps in a cathouse about their customers. The only reason EA 'fixed' ME3 was because it created a stink actual news media picked up on and someone with actual money got scared they were going to lose some. Read the EULA's, their handy fineprint. They tell you straight-out they owe us all exactly squat. Money talks, blah, blah. We're the blah.
Honestly, for the amount of people who claim they're tired of EA and no longer giving a damn, y'all seem to actually give a huge buncha damns. I don't care if the DA:I all patched and Emporiumed gives me an ass-massage and a Bugatti stuffed with money, it doesn't erase the fact that this game was launched on a huge bullsh!t-spewing rocket ride to Crash Planet orbiting the GlitchStar and so far, four successive incompetence-fueled expeditions have not rescued anyone. The only fix I found that did anything - including rectifying my one huge problem and ninety-eight percent of the crashes - was sh!t-canning five attempted playthroughs - one ninety hours long - and starting all over because apparently having all the saves crammed in one folder screws them up. Shooters do this. This game was slapped onto shooter architecture and hoped no one would notice.
It was something that simple. No beta tests or PR short-stroking anything. One Inquisitor at a time and the game will play almost problem-free. Yeah, really. At least for me.
For the majority of people DA:I works just fine. This patch is a candy-coated bone. Maybe it'll fix important things, but we all know how unlikely that is. EA doesn't care about you. Four months in and they've proved that more than adequately. They're busy gearing up to disappoint everyone with ME4.
You don't thank a doctor for pulling the retractor from your chest six months after he forgot it there. Whatever else they do to "fix" things we are owed. They are not, however, owed gratitude for any of it.
It's time for Zen, my friends. Time to be nothing to EA because we are nothing to EA.