Never said that some do not have legitimate grievances, but I do question those that seem to be unable to plat the game at all, esp as I am able to do so; disability and all.
ME series: WASD. Skyrim: WASD. SWTOR: WASD and depressed Mouse button like DAI, but lacks Pause and Tac-Cam. And DAI also has a Next Target system (use Cap Locks now; formerly Tab as in ME series). ME series has a party of three, and solo SWTOR allows for one Companion with some unique exceptions. Skyrim I prefer to solo unless the Quests force a choice like Serana.
As for specific problems, it generally has to do with my restricted ability to move in the open, so in ME, I choose to remain in cover, and rarely move out of it. SWTOR; skip melee choices for long term play, and had a Gunner, Bounty Hunter 'Gunner', and an Inquisitor. These were able to largely remain in position, with moist focus on playing 'GUI Simon' to win. Larger number of choices aside, it lost my focus on the game, and became about pressing Keys and getting the interrupts on time.
And if one believes that by setting Follow themselves is non-intuitive, then the previous If-Then Tactical charts may have been a burden to gain a proper order.
And while the DAGAR Award did use a controller in the detailed description, all platforms were listed on the award including the PC.
Note: Hope that TW3 does not displease the crowd here in the same way; only controller footage has been seen thus far, though Gopher has mentioned that it did seem fine when tested privately. Still, the KB&M controls are seemingly unknown, I believe.
The melee in SWTOR is fine. I just remapped some keys and avoided the frustration those like you experienced. 
Joking aside, all the games mentioned actually play very different from DAI. While all have companions, none are directly controlled by the player, as are DAI's followers. As I mentioned, since they are purely AI controlled, the AI is far more developed in those games.
Tell me, what is more intuitive: Set Leliana to 'ranged mode', to have her stay back from melee and use her bow, or switch her to melee and have her swap weapon sets (remember those?) and close in, OR set Varic to 'follow himself' and hope following himself means staying out of harms way like an archer should?
It's clear to me what is more intuitive.
I'll confess something for you, Elhanan. I played DAO, DA2 and DAI on easy, well, normal for DAI, and ignored any tactics settings. The only thing I did in DAO was the above to switch Leliana to the preset ranged behaviour so she would stay an archer. This isn't possible to do in DAI for Varric or Sera. The point is, that's all I had to do in DAO to get Leliana to behave the way I wanted. The ranged behaviour was built into the one selection, just as melee, defence, or aggressive behaviours had their presets. Other actions, like casting bow related abilities rather than closing to use dirty kick, were built into the behaviour selection.
Can DAI say the same? Does anything in the selection to 'follow yourself' enforce the use of ranged abilities? Does it force the character to stay at range? What if Cass is set to follow herself? Will she pick up a bow? Please. you know the answer to this as well as I do.
You know, that gives me a great idea. I'm going to replay DAO, and make Alistair an archer and Leliana a Sword&shield rogue, because, you know, you can do that in DAO.
I have no interest in TW3, though not for the same reasons as you, I think. I may pick it up on sale some time in the future.