I like Leliana, but I think they made a few minor mistakes with her, mostly relating to overexposure.
I don't agree with every one of your assertions here, but I do think this one is unfortunately true. I've seen so many female gamers express distaste for things they consider too passive in a female character, and it makes me sad how often this includes traits like compassion, a diplomatic temperament, and a love for pretty things.
As a female gamer, I find Leliana far more realistic and stronger than Morrigan. Morrigan for me is the opposite of a strong female character - she is so vulnerable, that she is not even able to participate in a normal conversation without being over the top (or, to put it in a not so nice wording 'bitchy'). Morrigan wants to be seen as strong and carefree, but she is very conservative in her world view (which I always find surprising, giving, that Flemeth is her mother and Flemeth seems to be very open minded) - much more than Leliana in fact.
Don't get me wrong, both characters are well written, but for me, the stronger of the two, was always Leliana. In fact, I was surprised, that people even consider Morrigan to be strong, when her insecurities are so clear. When you befriend her, she even has a dialogue or two later on, when she started to self reflect. My characters always felt like they are Morrigans big sisters, who have to show her, how the world works.
Of the three female companions, I would consider Wynne the strongest and most down to earth one, Leliana close behind and Morrigan is still struggling to find her place. All three are very well written.
But I guess, it's a good thing to have different opinions about chaarcters and stories, or this board would get very boring soon 
1. Stop confusing being a royal you-know-what with being a "strong woman." That's a dangerous misconception. Plus, this is just a game.
I completely agree, if someone has to resort to being bitchy, it is the opposite of being strong imo.