17 réponses à ce sujet

[Jock Cranley]

Very recently, I was having a discussion with a woman I've known for some time, and it seemed to be going smoothly. I mean, I've never got along with her 100%, but I've always seemed to make up for it in some capacity, and she's always let me make up for it. So far in this conversation, there had been no arguing, no major differences in opinion. Then, out of nowhere, she asks me a very bizarre question.

 

I was entirely unprepared. Completely dumbstruck for a split second. This question came out of nowhere, I was not aware of how to respond. I mean, everything up to this point, everything had seemed more or less normal. Some personal misgivings had been discussed, but nothing excessive. Some personal fears and concerns had been discussed, but again nothing too huge or heavy hitting. Thus far it had been a relatively normal discussion. 

 

She seems to be a relatively sane woman, very strong willed and opinionated, and very much a feminist. Driven individualist, though perhaps a bit worrisome, slow to let go of previous disappointments, and maybe changes her goalposts a bit too often for her own good. Never got along particularly well with the 'popular' bunch. 

 

If you must ask,

Spoiler

She asked me if I was a sadomasochist. Unaware of how to respond, I more or less said, 'Which would you prefer?' and she promptly left.

 

Now, to be fair, I've always found myself drawn to women with a certain level of fierceness to them, but still. I didn't know what to say.

 

What should I have said? What weird questions have people thrown at you? What is the best way to respond?

[Cknarf]

[Fast Jimmy]

I'm far from an expert, taking a passive response (which would you prefer) might have been the WORST possible response if the woman was, indeed, into such practices.

But I could be totally wrong. It's happened before.

Once. It was a crisp Fall, Tuesday morning...

[bmwcrazy]

You're thinking too much.

 

If you're worried that you might have offended the said person, then the best thing to do here is just be yourself and let things be instead of trying to over analyze everything .

 

IMO, there's nothing wrong with your response to her question if that's really how you think. You don't have to please and get along with everyone, y'know.

[mybudgee]

"Ray, when someone asks you if you're an S&M god... you say YES!!"

[Gravisanimi]

To be fair, I wasn't aware of my own answer to that question until someone brought it to my attention.

 

It's not a normal question by any means, unless she thinks that you hanging around someone you disagree with on many occasions (her), she thinks you are a masochist.

[Zeroth Angel]

That is a really weird question and pretty much coming out of nowhere.

 

I don't think you did anything wrong, after all she is the one who asked that weird question to begin with.

[mybudgee]

Also; WHY have you not banged her yet?!?

[The Love Runner]

She probably wanted to see if you would take her to see the Fifty Shades of Grey movie in a couple months.

[Fast Jimmy]

Also; WHY have you not banged her yet?!?

The guy who picked out that line deserves a medal.

[Vroom Vroom]

I'm far from an expert, taking a passive response (which would you prefer) might have been the WORST possible response if the woman was, indeed, into such practices.

I agree with Fast Jimmy, the passive response could have been the worst possible answer you could have given her, but that depends on what you are wanting from her. You should have just been honest (could have even lied if you so desired, but lies tend to bite back in the future), you had a 50% chance of getting a positive response from her by telling the truth or lying and instead you went with a riskier passive response which likely left her uninterested.

 

You're thinking too much.

 

If you're worried that you might have offended the said person, then the best thing to do here is just be yourself and let things be instead of trying to over analyze everything .

 

IMO, there's nothing wrong with your response to her question if that's really how you think. You don't have to please and get along with everyone, y'know.

You could also be thinking too much as bmwcrazy has stated, she could have just asked you that question for a quick laugh on her own part and intended to leave regardless of your answer. 

 

bmwcrazy gets it though, you don't have to be friends with everyone.

 

 

In closing: just be yourself.

[Inquisitor Recon]

You should have said yes.

[Kaiser Arian XVII]

Marry me?

[Jstatham1227]

 

 

Maybe a retort question. Ask her if she is. Because from what I'm guessing, she might be. 

[Nessaya]

Very recently, I was having a discussion with a woman I've known for some time, and it seemed to be going smoothly. I mean, I've never got along with her 100%, but I've always seemed to make up for it in some capacity, and she's always let me make up for it. So far in this conversation, there had been no arguing, no major differences in opinion. Then, out of nowhere, she asks me a very bizarre question.

 

She always 'lets you make up for it'... wat?? Dude, if someone makes you feel like you 'have to make up' for something, it was never meant to be. Why put yourself in this inferior position anyway, and not meet her as an equal? If I spent my time wondering what to say and how to say it and having the impression that I have to 'make things right' if I think I said something wrong, well... then I really am doing something wrong. Alternatively, I'd consider the other person was a ****** and move on.

 

That being said, not knowing you or the woman or your exact relationship, there's no advice anyone can give, really. Maybe the reason she left was that she became embarassed for having asked you that question in the first place, especially considering your neutral reaction. Maybe she got bored. Maybe she's simply weird.

Should you have said yes, just to please her? Hell no, unless you're spineless... or seriously into s&m. :I

[Jock Cranley]

She always 'lets you make up for it'... wat?? Dude, if someone makes you feel like you 'have to make up' for something, it was never meant to be. Why put yourself in this inferior position anyway, and not meet her as an equal? If I spent my time wondering what to say and how to say it and having the impression that I have to 'make things right' if I think I said something wrong, well... then I really am doing something wrong. Alternatively, I'd consider the other person was a ****** and move on.

 

 

I've an enormous tendency to say whatever pops into my head, and that tends to get me in trouble with... everybody.  Also, in 99% of cases, if someone took offense to what I said, I'd tell them to shove it. However, I enjoy her company more than the 99% and actually care about her feelings and opinions. She's entertaining, for lack of a better way to describe it. But she does have a tendency to catch me off guard every so often, which is probably why I enjoy her company. She enjoys the illusion of superiority, and I see no reason to deny it to her. She always acts so fearsome and demanding. It's cute. To her, I am something between an admirer and a confidant.

 

In most cases, I wouldn't care if someone turned up dead in a ditch over something I said. For one reason or another, she makes the cut for my concern.

 

Some women are just worth tolerating.