We've been essentially going around in circles since the start of the thread because the proponents just refuse to read what's being said and repeatedly use the argument of "whoever says they are a man is a man." But I'll reiterate one more time: Identification means nothing. Why would the Qunari, who
have any reason to impose roles based on sex apart from physical differences? They wouldn't of course. Identifying as a man won't help you run faster or open a jar.
Not dealing with the stuff you said later because it's fairly unrelated to the Qunari, but as to this - You can't just say identification means nothing. Iron Bull says it does, and while he's not wholly reliable, it actually fits with the interactions with Sten as well (explained later).
It's about how you're suited, so certainly if you're a tiny, fragile anything (male/female) and you want a role related to brute strength, then, of course, the answer will be no. You won't be suited. But Krem is perfectly suited to be both male and a soldier, and those two identifiers coincide. I see no contradiction of the Qun, based on what I know of it. The Qun has gender roles, but they never tell us how gender is determined or whether a transgender person would be acceptable. If Krem is a man (which is what I accept, and I have no reason to believe the Qunari would not accept it based on anything any Qunari has ever said or anything written in The World of Thedas or any Codex entry), then he can have a man's role and a man's life. This does not deny the Qun.
Likely the reason men are pushed towards certain roles and women others - and found more suited - does have to do with physical differences, but even the Qunari don't believe those differences are absolute. And when they do, who's to say that a child born a girl who is strong, warrior-like wouldn't be more of a man to the Qunari than weaker men. They might even feel relieved if such a girl identified as a man. They might even push for it. Not having met a Tamassaran, it's very hard to say.
Here is what is said in the WoT about gender roles:
Qunari strongly believe that the genders are inherently and intuitively better at certain tasks. No matter how much aptitude and promise a male shows for management, he will never be considered as good at it as a female, therefore it would be considered inefficient and a waste of resources to place him in a role where a woman might serve better. Instead, the Tamassrans find another role that he shows aptitude for and will place him there instead. The same goes for females, most Qunari will find it odd if a female becomes a warrior.[4] The odd, very rare exception is made however. A male Qunari will farm if he must, just as a female will fight, depending on the circumstance.
If exceptions are made, even in roles if you are the gender, why would it be weird for them to accept transgender identity? Nothing about the Qunari say how they determine gender or if one has a say in the gender they identify at. I imagine a child born with female parts who identified as male and showed a tremendous aptitude for soldiering could easily be seen as "truly male" by the Qunari. To me, this seems to fit what I know of them in terms of how they want to fit people into their most appropriate role.
I'm not just making the argument that Krem is a man because it's PC. I'm making it because we have no reason to believe it's against the Qun for it to be true. Sten does not prove this --all he proves is that Qunari find it odd if a woman is a warrior. He had no say on what made someone a man or a woman, and he even asks you if you are a woman in DA:O. That question - though I didn't read it that way at the time - can easily be read as him asking for your identifier. If he asked Krem the same question, what would he say?
I disagree. People seem to be labouring under the delusion that the Qun is a political/philosophical system formed from perfect reasoning and understanding. It's not, it's a religion which often means some of its tenets and ideas are taken on faith. So whilst identifying as a man doesn't make you run faster, trying to "pass" as a woman whilst identifying yourself as a man would fly in the face of the Qun's central tenets Asit tal-eb which is all about acting according to one's nature. Trying to resist one's nature creates in-balance according to Qunari belief which disrupts the balance of the whole. That's why I don't think Iron Bull is lying. Even if Asit tal-eb is not the reason for the Qun's acceptance there could easily be another tenet that the Qun corroborates this.
Right, to me, it makes perfect sense. The only way it lacks sense is if you try to apply "Our World" understanding to it, really.
Why? Why does the Qun care whether or not society views someone as the gender they view themselves as? Why is the rule of law "You will submit to the Qun. You will bend to the Demands of the Qun in all things... unless, y'know, it's a issue of gender identity. Then the Qun will totally bend for you because, y'know, Transphobia is totally not cool, bro"
I don't think it's an "unless" since this doesn't seem to break the demands of the Qun. The Qun is about owning your appropriate role and fulfilling it with a completeness. The Qun is about not wanting to be more or less than you are. Yes, others get to "decide" what you are, but they do it based upon what you seem to be, so you will feel complete in your role. The idea is that you must be best-suited to what you do and what you are. Others may even determine someone is transgender in the Qun for all I know.
And the notion of physical gender is mainly important to two things: 1) reproduction, 2) sexuality. The first is a non-issue. Most Qunari don't reproduce and those that do are specially picked because they are suited. The second is likely a non-issue based on what Bull tells us of Qunari sexuality.
Not all concepts of gender are physical, and we don't know that the Qunari concepts of gender are purely physical. We have no reason to believe it is, and at least a few reasons now to believe it's not. This also does not contradict anything Sten said.
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