I'd really rather not have this turn into an argument of who has the better romance, or what characters are hottest or anything like that
Just a few less gut punches for the ladies, please!
You know I completely agree with you. Playing the entire Dragon Age series taught me that apparently I pick the wrong guys. Luckily this seems to be only in games and not in real life.
I played DA2 and DA3 with my little sister watching much of the time. She thought Cullen is hot and nagged for me to pick Cullen, but I went with Solas instead, because something about his serious air just drew me plus my fiancé said about Cullen: "That book is ALLLLL cover" lol. And... well...
After my first playthrough I had a big-sister life-lesson moment with my little sis. I told her that if her instincts draw her to someone like Cullen, then that instinct will serve her well in life. My instincts draw me to someone mysterious and full-of-drama like Solas (and Anders in DA2), so I told her to never make the mistakes I made. I told her she needs to go for the good, honest, straightforward, LOW DRAMA guy, even if he seems boring in comparison.
See because someone like Solas and Anders will choose his Great Cause over you every time. Yeah he loves you and all but ultimately he loves his Cause more. Ambition and sense of responsibility are very important, of course, but to actually have a life together, you need a man who, when his back is against the wall, will choose you over everything else.
Fenris and Cullen are that kind of man. Solas and Anders are not.