With enough power to finally hit the Tevinter guys where they live (so to speak), Jo Trev volunteered as tribute bait for the Venatori. Leliana's people are sneaking in a back door that hopefully actually exists (shame there wasn't one of those in the Ostwick Circle. Place got boring, some adventure now and then could've been nice. Though, perhaps not this much adventure...) and they're disarming the trap set for us. Of course, things never go as planned, since when Joanna offered nothing ("I'm just going to take the mages and go, 'kay? :'D"), she and the helpful mustachioed Tevinter with us got thrown into a rift. And...the future?
Well. Alexius has done some redecorating. Jo and Dorian agree that as bad as the Ferelden motif was before, this isn't exactly an improvement. Jo will have to remember not to have him in charge of aesthetic design when we move to Skyhold.
Moving right along as if some weird sci-fi thing hadn't just happened and the world wasn't literally falling apart around us, we find Lyses, the elf from Redcliffe who seems to have lost it a bit (poor kid
), and Fiona. She's turning into Red Lyrium. Apparently it's a disease now. Lovely. She tells us about Leliana, so we set off to find her too. Along the way we stumble upon Sera and Blackwall. Sera's terrified, obviously, and rather than joking, Jo tries to comfort her for a change. It doesn't really work, but she agrees to come along to kill Alexius.
Blackwall's not much better off. Jo's not sure why they bothered to keep the mouthy elf and fake Warden - I mean, if he's experimenting with the Blight, you'd think Alexius would figure that out and...dispose, of him
- but Jo's relieved. Also, good thing they're here; she'd make a terrible tank and Dorian would probably just complain about blood on his outfit if she threw him in front of her as a shield.
Anyway, we're off to see Leliana. She's in even worse condition than the others and yet still manages to snap a guy's neck with her thighs. Jo's impressed, Dorian's flippant, and Leliana's mad. So, the usual. With an apology and a promise to make things right, Jo leads the merry band of misfits out into courtyard.
And the Breach has taken over everything.
Rifts appear left and right and demons keep swooping down upon us. We hurry through, back into the castle. Inside, we find a Shard Door that is a complete mystery to us all
and open it with some Red Lyrium. Because why wouldn't we just pick up random shards of the stuff off people we've killed in hopes that it'll somehow be useful later?
Past the door, we find Alexius. And Felix. Felix is basically a zombie, so Leliana kills him while Jo tries to bargain with Alexius. That goes over about as well as expected, and we end up having to fight him. Fun!
Once he's dealt with, we start working on the spell to get us back to the future our own time. We run out of time, however, and Sera, Blackwall and Leliana give their lives to give us a chance, much to Joanna's disapproval - she argued but nooo, why listen to the lady with the glowy hand?
When we jump out of another rift, we're back in the originally terribly decorated, not at all end-of-the-world-ish Redcliffe Castle. Joanna's a bit smug ("oh, is that all?") but that doesn't last long. Queen Anora (minus King Alistair, so I guess he's a wandering drunk? Oops
) demands the mages get the hell out of Ferelden. Jo decides to anger her family and half the Inquisition - and, y'know, Thedas - further by offering them a full alliance.
So with our goal accomplished and our new allies in tow, we return to Haven. Predictably, everyone's arguing. Dorian drops by to say hello and join up, and Jo's happy to let him. At least somebody sees how amusingly bizarre all of this is. The Advisors invite Joanna to join them in the War Room when ready. She sighs, "there goes my nap." We're to deal with the Breach next.
Oh! And there's this, a painting that looks weirdly like Blackwall:
Just me? Does Alexius make a habit of having portraits done of his prisoners? Is that a Tevinter thing? 