Update on Medusa's evil playthrough.
I take a tour of Haven. I talk with Short Round. He doesn't say much about what happened in Kirkwall and it also sounds like he and Hawke weren't the best of friends. Huh. I don't care. Hahaha
I talk with the advisors. I remember Flower Girl and Furball, but haven't met the third one. Her name is Josephine. Lets see. Her new name is now, Joey. Hahaha.
I take Scarface, Short Round and The Professor and Maryann all here on Gilligan's Island. Wait. What? Damn. My mind was thinking of something else. Lets start over. I take Scarface, Short Round and The Professor to the Hinterlands. What a bunch of sorry looking losers. They want me to fix their problems. Well, boohoohoo. I don't care about your pathetic problems. Hahaha. Scarface reminds me we need to build up power to close the breach. She really is a party pooper. I stick out my tongue at her.
Ok. We go around killing lowlifes and do tasks for the losers. My bow of death does all the talking for me. Hahahaha.
We get to a point, when all of a sudden a dragon flys by. OH CRAP. RUN RABBIT RUN. That was close. We only died a couple of times. You know dying really sucks. Hahahaha. I'll get you yet dragon. Hahahaha
Back in Haven, Flower Girl suggests about finding a Grey Warden. I also talk with someone about meeting an Iron Bull. Is that possible? A bull that is Iron? I'm game. Lets go see
Back to the Hinterlands and find this Grey Warden. The name is Blackwall. More like a younger version of Santa Claus. Hahahaha. Your new name is, Waldo. Hahaha.
Should've brought my surf board. Maybe next time. The water looks rough. Is that a walking bull I see fighting some bad guys? Hahahaha. It turns out he's a Qunari named Iron Bull. Mmmm. Mmmm. One more time. Mmmm. Ok. I got it. His new name is Horny. Hahahaha As we walk down the beach, I see a dragon and giant fighting. Cool. The giant has tusks coming out of its head. Is this a new form of Elephant I don't know about? Or could it be the explosion at the conclave hit my head harder than I thought?
Look at the dragon fly away. That's right. You better fly away punk. Ok. Now to deal with Elephant thingy. How's it go? Oh yeah. With an arrow here and arrow there, ole McDonald had farm ee iii ee oo. With more arrows in its head another arrow in it backside. Down goes the giant. Down goes the giant. You remember what happened at the boxing match? Hahaha
Head back to Haven and upgrade weapons and armor.
We head to Val Royeaux or whatever its called. I always have problems saying those names. Whatever. Who's this? Lord seeker Lusous? More like Lord seeker goofball. What a clown. I don't need him. Yeah that's right. Run along and play with your templars. Good riddance. I just realized I forgot to wear a mask. Why do I need a mask? I want everyone to know I'm the Devil in human form. Hahahaha
I encounter an Elf named Sera. I liked that she fired an arrow in that guys face. Cool. Your name is now Screwy.
I get invited to meet someone when some snot nose liitle punk starts talking crap to me. You're outt've your league little man. Wow. He's frozen. Its the hostess, Vivienne. I tell her to kill the clown. She does. Cool. Hey, Short Round. Kill that guy over there. Hahahaha. Her name will now be Naggie. Hahahaha
We go to get the support of the Templars. Now were fighting red templars. Red, blue, yellow. Who cares? Kill them all. Hahahahaha Now I'm in some kind of dream like place. If you want to scare me, you going to have to do a better job. WHAT THE....? Whats with the kid with the wide brim hat? Get lost junior. I don't deal with punks like you. I finally make it out of whatever it was.
Your an Envy demon. How patheitic? I could scare you silly, but I don't want everyone to see me in my true form. Hahahaha
I kill the wannbe demon.
Who the crap is this? And how did you get in here? Wait a minute. Its that thing that was talking to me in the dream like place. Kill it. Kill it Whew that was close. Why do Scarface and Furball have their swords drawn. Whatever. Lets get back to the business at hand.
I close the breach. Now we're under attack. I'm getting tired of this. Well, well. I meet the thing that caused my problem.
Ugly: Give me back the anchor so I can get the game developers and plastic surgeons to fix my face.
me: What?
Ugly: You heard me girl.
me: I don't even know what a plastic surgeon or whatever is and besides that, I don't think anything could fix your ugly looking face.
Ugly: You dare mock Corypheus? You will pay for your pettiness.
me: You know what? You talk too much. Have some snow.
Cory: What th...? Get me outta here pet dragon.
I showed that clown. I could've easily kicked his backside, but again I don't want to give away myself. It's a little chilly. I find everyone. They start singing. Terrible. You sing about whatever, I'm thinking of this song. Hahaha
The Professor talks with me. I lead everyone to a place The Professor call, Skyhold. Yes, This will do. Hahaha. My rein of terror will begin here. Hahaha. They officailly make me the leader of the Inquisition. Excellent. The power I have over these twirps. Hahahaha.
Short Round tells me about a friend of his I need to talk with. Fine. Ruin my glory. I should kill that guy. Hahahaha. So this is Hawke. She is good looking. Mmmm. I like her. I will meet you at Crestwood my dear. Hahahaha
Tune in next time for more devilsh adventures starring the ever popular Medusa Trevelyan. Hahahaha