I always harden and make Ali king, no way is that traitorous sow Anora getting the throne. I also never marry him to the back stabber either!. But I got the impression thru the dark horse graphic novels that Ali really did subconsciously want to be king, and the war table messages did seem like the old Ali sense of humour to me. But no mention is made of Mistress to King HoF in game so I'm curious what happened there?.
Alistar decided to dump her? And I don't have a world state like that so I dunno....
No, she's mentioned, but not directly.
If your HoF makes Alistair king and remain his mistress, you hear rumors in the Herald's Rest about a "power behind the throne". I missed the first part of the conversation, so I didn't hear the word "Ferelden" mentioned specifically, but considering that my Inquisitor wasn't romancing anyone at the time and that I hadn't started WEWH yet, what other throne could they be talking about? I didn't hear those rumors on my "Warden and Alistair remain Wardens together" playthrough, nor did I get them on my "Queen Cousland" playthrough, so odds are good, that was the only name drop there's going to be.
Come to think of it, I don't remember Alistair mentioning his wife, the HoF, in Redcliffe, either. It wasn't a social call.
Alistair doesn't love Cousland more than Surana or Amell, or Brosca, Aeducan, Tabris, or Mahariel, for that matter. Heck, any female Cousland at all can marry him whether there's a romance there or not, as long as her persuasion skill is high enough. There's enough "My choices are more valid than your choices" in the fandom already without dredging that up again.