In my experience, all from nightmare difficulty, if you play well, you need Barrier only as a "oh-****" spell. If your tank is decently geared and specced he/she should be able to tank (guess what) everything without barrier, which leaves the spell as a nice backup when something like the above doesn't happen for various reasons.
This means you can safely disable the spell and use it manually on the rare occasions when it's needed, namely when a dps companion has aggro or when there is unavoidable party damage (dragons, bosses) which hardly classifies as "holding my companion hands to do their job".
If you can't tank without barrier, turn down the difficulty because you've hit the top of your learning curve and need to improve. No shame in that.
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