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A lifetime of heavily gendered socialization can affect people on some very deep levels, even those of us who were always misfits and knew that we aren't, can't be and don't want to be what gender (or other) stereotypes tell us we must be.
Look, I'm not saying everyone is equally affected by every instance of unwanted sexual advances (or whatever). Or that we should be. Or that there's no big difference in ways or degrees. Or that most men feel at risk like most women do. I just loathe this notion that anyone -- be it a man, a woman or someone between or outside -- should ever feel they have to "be able to take it" or "be grateful for it" or face ridicule or worse. That attitude doesn't help anyone except the harassers. I wouldn't want things to get as ugly for men as they often are for women before a guy can maybe, possibly, if he's lucky, be "allowed" to feel and express discomfort.
I get it, I really do. Not everyone can be the model that society puts up, and everyone struggles with that on some level. I'm certainly not the most manliest man in existence. I'm not afraid to show my emotions, sad, angry, whichever. I write poetry and love stories. I'm painfully aware of my flaws and the unfair expectations put on me simply because I'm a man, and not just a man but a burly one. I'm six foot four. People don't tend to sympathize with me very much because they just assume I can take anything.
However, I can't let things like that get to me. None of us can. Society isn't going to change for us, as society is modeled around what we have coded in our biology, and I don't think someone telling me to suck it up enables my harassers. I'm biracial and have been harassed throughout my childhood. The best advice I was ever given was to suck it up, ignore it, don't let it get to me. So I didn't, and I did get over it, and so did the people trying to screw with me. I know not everyone is equipped to handle certain situations, but at the end of the day, other people aren't always going to be around, and the only person you'll have left to rely on is you. I don't think this enables the harassers, I think the opposite.
This attitude is the exact reason why my little brother was so lame that he got pushed around by a six year old when he was 8, and instead of doing something about it, he waited and told the teacher instead. My mother coddled him so bad due to his father dying, that he couldn't tie his shoes until I finally sat his ass down and forced him to sit there until he learned.... at 11 years old. This attitude is doing much more harm than good. People cannot rely on others, they must learn to do something for themselves, or they will be pathetic human beings who can't help but let others turn them into victims. This is already hurting young females, and now they're doing it to young males as well. It's killing masculinity.
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