1109 réponses à ce sujet

[whitless256]

He's not the machoist. He very patronizingly tells the Quizzy he/she needs to be a sub (which really wtf) but it doesn't seem to be anything mega intense. (Plus having Cole burst that "I'm in control" bubble makes me lol hard). I don't mind it myself (mostly again because of Cole's insight into it) but I can see why people are kind of like "ehhhh".

 

 

I haven't played it but I doubt there's any abuse in the relationship. That's completely different from BDSM, which I understand is in there a very small amount.

 

 

I understand the difference between abuse and BDSM, which is why I asked for clarification.  I've been reading a lot of posts in this thread that say they refuse to romance Iron Bull because [insert varying degrees of distaste].  So since he's on my to do list of romances, I'm trying to get a sense of what exactly people are finding so awful about him, as several posts seem to indicate he's somehow abusive or cruel as opposed to kinky.

 

Is it only women he tries to dominate (in the BDSM sense) or is it also men?  I can see that making a difference, too. 

 

Thank you both for the insight. 

[Ryzaki]

I understand the difference between abuse and BDSM, which is why I asked for clarification.  I've been reading a lot of posts in this thread that say they refuse to romance Iron Bull because [insert varying degrees of distaste].  So since he's on my to do list of romances, I'm trying to get a sense of what exactly people are finding so awful about him, as several posts seem to indicate he's somehow abusive or cruel as opposed to kinky.

 

Is it only women he tries to dominate (in the BDSM sense) or is it also men?  I can see that making a difference, too. 

 

Thank you both for the insight. 

 

Pretty sure it's both. But still it's downright obnoxious to be told "no this is what you need" so I can see the turn off many get from it.

 

But no he's not abusive at all. Cole pretty much spells that out.

[wildannie]

To be fair, I don't see a difference between this and guys asking for love interests that match their ideal of a good LI.  And they've been told by the community in no uncertain terms that they need to stop talking about how they're not attracted to their two options.  Seems like two sides of the same coin to me, even though I do disagree with the concept that Cassandra and Josie are unatractive.   I think they have as much a right to ask for that as the folks in this post have to ask for different romance types.

 

I do think that the original pre-extension LIs are kind of strange choices.  If they had not introduced Solas and Cullen my pcs would have been single, because both Iron Bull and Blackwall are ...um unappealing at best.   I think Cassandra and Josephine are lovely, and seem really sweet, however I can see why some might not be happy with the two choices.  I think that maybe Blackwall / IB and Cass / Josie don't cover such a wide spectrum of tastes as LIs in previous games.  It s not that they are the same, but there are similarities.  

 

Blackwall / Iron Bull 

- both warrior types, both chunky, both have had leadership roles (to varying success), both a bit crude.

 

Cassandra/Josephine

- both kind of straight laced, both kind of sweet... they are both really good looking though which is more than can be said for IB and Blackwall who really are ugly.

[Grieving Natashina]

I've done the Iron Bull romance.  There is no abuse at all.  In fact, I'd consider the romance one of the more loving and sweet I've done in series so far.  Before the first sex scene, he pins your arms to the side of a wall.  Not in a threatening way, but more like in a seducing manner, and he gives a Safe Word.   He tells you that he's going to be the dom in bed, but nowhere else.  This is also the same conversation where you have three chances to end the romance if the player isn't comfortable.  He takes it with no hard feelings if you back out.  

 

The only romance scene I can think of off the top of my head that addresses BSDM (other than the kissing option where he smacks you on the ass,) is when you can have a conversation about what the other companions Safe Words might be (and it's fairly amusing too.)  While you're lying about topless.  The only other thing I can think of that there is one scene where, after the Charges vs Qunari decision, he'll ask you to beat him with a stick to help him through frustration.   After Cass has been using him as a training dummy for awhile.   I don't know if it happens regardless of LI, but he does sound almost excited while you're doing it.  Still, nothing at all in that scene said, "Abuse," to me. 

[whitless256]

I've done the Iron Bull romance.  There is no abuse at all.  In fact, I'd consider the romance one of the more loving and sweet I've done in series so far.  Before the first sex scene, he pins your arms to the side of a wall.  Not in a threatening way, but more like in a seducing manner, and he gives a Safe Word.   He tells you that he's going to be the dom in bed, but nowhere else.  This is also the same conversation where you have three chances to end the romance if the player isn't comfortable.  He takes it with no hard feelings if you back out.  

 

The only romance scene I can think of off the top of my head that addresses BSDM (other than the kissing option where he smacks you on the ass,) is when you can have a conversation about what the other companions Safe Words might be (and it's fairly amusing too.)  While you're lying about topless.  The only other thing I can think of that there is one scene where, after the Charges vs Qunari decision, he'll ask you to beat him with a stick to help him through frustration.   After Cass has been using him as a training dummy for awhile.   I don't know if it happens regardless of LI, but he does sound almost excited while you're doing it.  Still, nothing at all in that scene said, "Abuse," to me. 

 

Yeah, everyone gets to beat Bull with a stick in the training yard.  

 

Thanks for the summary.  I'll definately want to try riding the Bull in a future playthrough.

[syllogi]

Personally, I don't ever plan on doing the Iron Bull romance because I don't like the idea of being forced into the role of sub in a BDSM relationship (not that IB forces the character, but the game does, since you can't ever tell him "no, I like you, but I don't like this kink/power dynamic at all").

 

It's not a huge deal to me, in this game, because there are enough other romance choices for female characters so that I don't feel like it's him, one other vaguely unsatisfying option, or nothing at all.  But I am very glad that I was spoiled about how his romance goes down, so I could make an informed decision.  It would have been really unpleasant to try the romance and discover what it entails.

[Grieving Natashina]

I've feel like I'd gotten fortunate too.  I felt the same way about Solas and Blackwall.  I almost went for Blackwall (without knowing any spoilers,) but ended up rerolling my dwarf and picked Bull instead.  I'm glad I did, because Blackwall would have been quite the painful shock.  Solas didn't bother me too much, but I don't play elves very often in DA games.  <shrug>

[Bekkael]

I understand the difference between abuse and BDSM, which is why I asked for clarification.  I've been reading a lot of posts in this thread that say they refuse to romance Iron Bull because [insert varying degrees of distaste].  So since he's on my to do list of romances, I'm trying to get a sense of what exactly people are finding so awful about him, as several posts seem to indicate he's somehow abusive or cruel as opposed to kinky.
 
Is it only women he tries to dominate (in the BDSM sense) or is it also men?  I can see that making a difference, too. 
 
Thank you both for the insight.

I find his assertiveness a little squicky, to be sure, but I also just find him a clown of a character, which is a huge turnoff for me and the main reason his romance has no appeal. When I heard there was a Qunari companion we could romance, I was seriously hoping for an Arishok or Sten equivalent, but instead we get Freddie Prinze Jr who seems to play....himself. That's not sexy to me, but YMMV. I YouTubed the romances, and a couple of his scenes cringed the heck out of me.

[RShara]

I've feel like I'd gotten fortunate too.  I felt the same way about Solas and Blackwall.  I almost went for Blackwall (without knowing any spoilers,) but ended up rerolling my dwarf and picked Bull instead.  I'm glad I did, because Blackwall would have been quite the painful shock.  Solas didn't bother me too much, but I don't play elves very often in DA games.  <shrug>

Ditto but I went with Cullen.  Blackwall was a bit old, bit too rugged, and his backstory was ugh.

Bull isn't really my  type, although I might try him with a warrior if they fix combat.  I've heard it's actually quite fun and sweet.

 

I really really really want  to romance Solas because I find him completely fascinating.  But I won't until/unless they come up with a decent conclusion to his arc!

[Grieving Natashina]

Bull's kinks aside, he really is very sweet.  For my dwarf, it fit that the two biggest oddballs in the Inquisition ended up together.  

[syllogi]

Bull's kinks aside, he really is very sweet.  For my dwarf, it fit that the two biggest oddballs in the Inquisition ended up together.  

 

I definitely liked Iron Bull more than I thought I would, based on what I had heard before hand, but based on real life experiences, yeah, no, any kind of BDSM romance is never going to be for me.  Not knocking anyone else who likes it, and I don't see him as being abusive, but again, this is why more choices is always better, and why I prefer to be spoiled at least generally about how romances go down.

[RShara]

Maybe he talks the big talk but ends up being very tender and careful?

[Grieving Natashina]

Maybe he talks the big talk but ends up being very tender and careful?

That's the way I always pictured it. 

[Ryzaki]

Maybe he talks the big talk but ends up being very tender and careful?

 

Yeah Cole pretty much says this. XD I love Bull's "WOULD YOU STOP" reaction too.

[RShara]

You know, I would have laughed my stinky toes off if Tali had dumped mShep for Kal'Reegar.

[Felya87]

You know, I would have laughed my stinky toes off if Tali had dumped mShep for Kal'Reegar.

 

Would you really blame the girl?   (yep. Reegar's fan here.)

[setrus86]

I'm still smarting.

 

Spoiler

S-solas...? Why turn my elf ugly without her tattoo and THEN dump her?   

 

 

Would you really blame the girl?   (yep. Reegar's fan here.)

 

It's okay, I'm a Spectre, I know assassins. Tali is MINE!   

[9TailsFox]

You know, I would have laughed my stinky toes off if Tali had dumped mShep for Kal'Reegar.

Look at the bright side we have 3 ways to die and let reapers win. If Shep not happy no one happy.

[Felya87]

 

 

It's okay, I'm a Spectre, I know assassins. Tali is MINE!   

 

hope they don't meet Kai Lame...  

[Aletheia]

For me Thane's ending is no better than Jacob before release of of Citadel DLC since he's death seems not noticed by anyone else. Most likely because they didn't bother to invest more resource to create some comment from the crew for it at that point.

 

It is fortunate that I romanced Zev in DAO and Fenris in DA2, but I can understand one who preferred Alistar and Anders in previous game, or get the bad luck romance Kaiden in ME1, Jacob or Thane in ME2, get frustrated and want some change.

 

the worst.. you CAN save thane.. You have to replay ALL games, saving this  one salarian captain on virmire, then do some stuf in the 2nds game I cant remember, so that he will take thanes place in part 3  BUT NOBODY ACKNOWLEDGES anything and thanes name just doesnt come up but is on that wall of sorrow anyway, just some other guy dies on his stead..

 

i was so pissed, i replayed all games and then nothing changed  but a model-swap and the notion that thema does sometimes anonymously in his hospitalbed without sheps knowledge,,

 

ugh, i get angry if i even think about that today...

[RShara]

Yeah, you can't save Thane.  If he doesn't die in the fight, then he dies off-screen, no matter what.  It's stupid.

[Maverick827]

Why is Thane's death surprising? It's literally one of the first things he tells you. I would have preferred a way to cure him in the end, if only because I believe that the player's control over the story is paramount, but why is it stupid?

[RShara]

HIs dying offscreen and not being mentioned is stupid.

 

Although his dying is stupid too, it's for a completely different reason.  If you really want to read about it I can send you a link.

[GreyLycanTrope]

I admit I'm still a bit sore about Jacob. Did like how Solas played out, at least that break up made sense, and he was locked to a specific gender/race setting anyways.

[Abelas Forever!]

Why is Thane's death surprising? It's literally one of the first things he tells you. I would have preferred a way to cure him in the end, if only because I believe that the player's control over the story is paramount, but why is it stupid?

Sometimes there are situations where some of your companions will tell you that something you are doing is a bad idea. For example Vynne will tell you that being with Alistair is a bad idea because you both have responsibilities which are more important than your relationship. Well she is right but you can still be with Alistair in the end. So you have choices. Maybe some people didn't believe that Thane will die because usually there is something you can do to prevent that kind of thing. For example the suicide mission which you can accomplish so that nobody dies even if everybody believes that all of you will die there. There is also the thing that Thane gets very sick quite quickly. He was fine in ME2 and in ME3 he is almost dead. So that is why it can be surprising. To your other question I have no answer.