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[Miliat]

I'll be honest, this is my first real fan fiction. Most of my writing in the past has been character exposition to flesh out things for RP purposes. This is new to me, so while criticism is welcome, please be nice to me. This story focuses on Lady Aeducan, Alistair, and Sacrifice. It is not complete, might possibly have NSFW moments in the future, and contains a HEAP of spoilers.

http://www.fanfictio..._Duty_and_Honor

It is a journal format for the most part, the chapters are short, but they are not supposed to be over long due to their nature. If preferred, I can also post the story in this thread as well, for those who cannot get to the link or would rather read here.

Modifié par Miliat, 26 janvier 2010 - 08:37 .

[Jaulen]

loving it!



I like the short journal entry style, and how she just sounds...dwarfish, honor, duty, etc.

[AdorableAnarchist]

Love it!!! Am dreading her meeting Gorim (my most hated part of the game, BTW LOL). Want moar please!

[Miliat]

Jaulen, Thank you! I really wanted the fact that she is a dwarf to shine through the most, that she remained dedicated to her people, even when they weren't dedicated to her.



AA, The Gorim/Goldanna meetings are in the next bit I'm working on right now. I'll probably plow through at least 3 more bits today

[MarcusDeVarro]

im not gonna lie if i was alistar reading the journal would break my heart

[MarcusDeVarro]

im not gonna lie, if i was Alistar and i read the journal it would break my heart

[ReubenLiew]

Just finished through it, I like it Gorim's reveal is going to hurt though.

[Miliat]

Marcus, I'm contemplating maybe adding Alistair's reactions later.

Reuben, just finished the Gorim reveal, it was a bit tough to write.

Part 7 is up.
Edit: Part 8 is up as well

Modifié par Miliat, 26 janvier 2010 - 11:43 .

[MarcusDeVarro]

this is really good Miliat

[AdorableAnarchist]

Wow... I generally find diarystyle writing to be a bit rough, but this is wonderful! Loved the Fade dream. Want more!!

[Sialater]

Yeah.. that's a far more horrifying fade dream than Duncan at Weisshaupt.

[Miliat]

Just put up Part 10: Kiss

Would have had more done today, but had some unexpected family stuff to take care of. And taxes. I hate doing taxes.

Sialater, I thought the Fade dream they gave for the PC was a little dry really. It would have been nice if they had tailored it more to the Origins of the PC, but I can understand why they didn't. After reading The Calling though, I knew I had to write a better fade dream for my character lol.

AA, i am so glad you are liking it. The further I get in with it though, the more I find myself wanting to deviate from the formula. I didn't think it would go like that. I find myself cutting a lot of stuff.

Modifié par Miliat, 28 janvier 2010 - 03:10 .

[Sialater]

Awww!

[Sisimka]

This is wonderful, I love it! The journalistic style is so original. Good job.

[Miliat]

Part 11: Aveline is up. More to come later today!

[AdorableAnarchist]

Love it! Her voice is so well-written.

[Miliat]

Part 12: Urn is up. (Its showing for me, but isn't for a friend, not sure why)



Meant to have more done yesterday, but life has a way of changing things!

[Sisimka]

*happy sigh* This is very moving, you captured my feelings after the Urn quest perfectly.

[MarcusDeVarro]

good stuff

[Sialater]

Tiny nit: Reverie not revelry. One's a thoughtful silence, the other's a party.

[Miliat]

Sialater wrote...

Tiny nit: Reverie not revelry. One's a thoughtful silence, the other's a party.

Just edited it to fix that. Thanks. If you see anything else that seems out of place like that, please let me know. When I put that in it seemed a bit off but I couldn't place it.


Thank you guys for all the great comments, currently working on Part 13.

[Sialater]

You might want to check the spelling though. I get older, it seems I can't live without spell-check.

[Miliat]

I finished Part 13: Acceptance. It won't upload for some reason, so here it is copy pasted. Enjoy

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I should be sleeping, but I sit here wide awake. We've all been given rooms here at Redcliffe, and it
feels strange to have an actual bed to sleep in, instead of being out in camp.


Even though it has a strange familiarity, the stone walls surrounding me, I find myself too weary for rest. The Arl's condition has been stable since we left, but unchanging. Tomorrow morning they will attempt to use the ashes to cure him. Will he admonish me for letting his wife go to her death? Will our travels to save him be for nothing when he finds out that I'm responsible?


Things are starting to go back to normal among my companions. As much as I adore her, I am tiring of Leliana talking about the Urn. I understand it meant a lot to her to see it, to be there when we found it, but I don't share her feelings on it. I retired to my room early, only to have Alistair follow me. Which I'm sure is the number one topic of gossip now. At the camp, if we wanted a moment alone, all we had to do was walk away from the perimeter, but here I even feel as if the stone has ears and eyes.


He tells me he thinks we should slow down some if the Arl is cured. Maybe not force ourselves so hard. He says I am burning myself out. I wanted to snap at him, but its true. We have been moving so fast, so quickly, the only time I have to think about what I have done, or decided, is in the few moments of rest at camp each night. The few moments I have to write in this journal.


I don't know what I would do without him. I would gladly call all my companions dear friends, even the elf at this point, but none of them support me when I am worn and tired like he does. My heart can no longer turn him away, even if what we are will be nothing once all this is over. I think we both need each other, like two stone pillars that hold an equal amount of burden.


He... he told me his feelings for me went beyond infatuation. I let him kiss me, this time it was not so chaste. It was more passionate, more insistent, and more urgent than any kiss I have ever had. It took all the will in me to push him away, to tell him to go to bed, and that we would talk more tomorrow. I could have easily let things go further, even as tired as I am, but this is not the right time.


The sight of him, standing in my doorway, as I pushed him out still brings a smile to my lips. His face flushed, tinged with his desire to push his way back in and the desire to do as I wished. I do not deserve him.

Edit: Stupid formatting!

Modifié par Miliat, 30 janvier 2010 - 03:46 .

[Freckles04]

This is a really sweet story. I'm enjoying it greatly.

[AdorableAnarchist]

Love this so much!!