kek,
Not that I can't win, just that I can't lose. Losing = failure = weakness.
It's a viscous web, one that even I have difficulty comprehending sometimes.
Yes. Failure is way to de-priding suicide indeed!
Anyway I'm an adviser, I don't do sh*t myself! lol
I hope you aren't trolling us, Statham.
Asking for help isn't weakness. Talking about the way you feel isn't weakness.
That poor person who killed themselves on your campus probably didn't ask for help, but deep down, they were probably desparate for it.
By ignoring and repressing them, I'm trying to make a barrier to try and keep my emotional turmoil as less noticeable as possible, probably in an attempt to save what little face I have in peoples eyes. If I crack, I will be shunned and fall even further down the social and emotional food chain that I have. It's bad now, but revealing these feels will only make it worse to the point I might not be able to bounce back from it in either a personally or larger sense I guess.
I suffer from MDD. No, I don't go around complaining about it, I'm just a bit open about it. I've suppressed my emotions for years. And frankly, it was eating me from the inside out and I wasn't even aware of it. Picture a clogged sink, the more water you run into it, the more it'll overflow. I'm very very good at hiding what I'm feeling, but eventually I explode and say things I don't mean to say. Thus venting can help a lot, I highly recommend finding someone you can vent to.
Depression is not a weakness, it's a disorder.
It took me almost a year to seek help and the only thing that pushed me was when Robbin Williams off'd himself thus it motivated me to treat it.
It'll take a while to treat but it's better than not moving forward at all.
You'll seriously be surprised at how well the combination of meds and therapy can help tbh. I was skeptical as f*** but the results were better than I'd thought.
Anyway, just my two cents, man. But more people are willing to listen than you might assume.
Hope you feel better though.
Also, have a bookshelf, guise.
Trying to suppress your feelings is so silly. They always get you. In the shower, when you're trying to sleep, when anything goes wrong. You might be able to convince yourself that you don't care most of the time, but when you realise you do care, it's so much worse.
I'm totally with Johnnie in finding someone to vent to. I have been guilty, many, many times, of bottling my feelings up and then exploding like a volcano and f----g things up. It will ruin your life.
I cry when I'm sad. Makes me feel better even if it doesn't fix anything.
Guest_Corvus I_*
Me too and I do it when I am happy as well.I cry when I'm sad. Makes me feel better even if it doesn't fix anything.
Like what's already been said, avoidance now will get you a bunch of sh*t later on down the road. I can attest to this and I'm seeing (or feeling rather lol) the repercussions of a similar circumstance. Because you either will suppress and explode like Steve said.
Or you become numb.
I cry when I'm sad. Makes me feel better even if it doesn't fix anything.
i shoot things when im sad 
Guest_Corvus I_*
Who does your taxes? Nah, that was rhetorical.i shoot things when im sad
i shoot things when im sad
Like what's already been said, avoidance now will get you a bunch of sh*t later on down the road. I can attest to this and I'm seeing (or feeling rather lol) the repercussions of a similar circumstance. Because you either will suppress and explode like Steve said.
Or you become numb.
Numb doesn't really happen, just the appearance of it. You develop a mildly hostile, mildly frightful approach to everyone and everything, all time. It isn't turning off your emotions, it's leaving the most negative ones on all time so that you hardly even realize it.
Well sorry I guess? I was just using it as a lame-man description of what it felt like to me.
I suppose lack of understanding on my part negates any and all would be description of my experience.
Well sorry I guess? I was just using it as a lame-man description of what it felt like to me.
I suppose lack of understanding on my part negates any and all would be description of my experience.
You shouldn't take it personally. It's a good point on Jimmy's part, because simply being "numb" might actually sound quite appealing to some people. Where as being afraid all of the time does not.
Well sorry I guess? I was just using it as a lame-man description of what it felt like to me.
I suppose lack of understanding on my part negates any and all would be description of my experience.
When I get sad, I stop feeling sad and be awesome instead.
I didn't take it personally, though that last statement made it sound that way I admit. I agree with Jimmy's point. I was just stating my experience and the way I described it wasn't the correct word as it's been pointed out.You shouldn't take it personally. It's a good point on Jimmy's part, because simply being "numb" might actually sound quite appealing to some people. Where as being afraid all of the time does not.
It's ok. It's a mis-understanding on my part.Oh, no, sorry... second time today my statement has come off as a correction to you. Not the case - I was just speaking in generalities. Sorry about that.
Like what?
whoever made me sad, obviously 
*walks back in*
Addressing a lot of issues at a personal level that needs to be taken. Building up self-confidence being the leading issue. So just taking my time and starting off slow is about all I can do.
More exercises = better figure = confidence
better scheduling of time for homework = more free time and time to do what I want and unwind
try being more social = finding a women (finally) to act as an emotional anchor for me
Re-evaluation of what I want to do with my life = actually knowing what career I want after college and how I can pursue it
stuff like that.
I admit, I don't really find that much value in my life at the moment, not in the sense of " I'm going to end it" or anything, that's just stupid. And it's not like I blame other people for how I am, they never did anything wrong to me. lel But at the moment, I just don't value myself that much, will put other peoples problems before me, and for the most part be extremely over nice with everything. Who knows? maybe I'm just acting that way to garner more attention, I'm not really sure. But I have to fight this on my own frankly. But talking about it here really takes off some of the stress of it. Thanks everyone. I appreciate your comments and support.
Guest_Corvus I_*
And that is a really nice hat too.*walks back in*
And that is a really nice hat too.
trust me, I've got enough jason statham pics and gifs I can practically use one for any situation. lel
So this may not seem like it's relevant to the present conversation, but if you watch it all the way through to the end, it kinda is in a weird way:
Beyond that, I do think that investing in yourself and developing your own sense of self-worth is a good approach. It helps make social interaction a lot easier if you don't feel like the whole world is riding on every interaction you have; you can just dismiss the assholes as assholes and not feel like their behavior towards you is a judgment of your total value as a human being.
Another good thing is to develop cultural interests that will help make you interesting for other people to talk to, but which you are invested for their own sake and not just because they make you seem interesting; people can generally spot fakers, and will be able to tell if you actually know what you're talking about or if you just memorized a few quotes from Nietzsche in order to sound smart.
Failing all of that, you can always follow the advice of Eric Idle.
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