Since when can you pause in Skyrim? Since when can you point and click in Skyrim? Since when can you queue attacks in Skyrim? Since when can control multiple characters in Skyrim?
I'm not seeing how they overlap.
Edit: eh, mods. Are there mods that do some of those things?
No, but I'm not talking about what features are available. I'm talking about how I ultimately play it.
Those features are important, and I'm going to keep demanding them, but that doesn't mean I always use them all.
In Skyrim, I usually have 3 followers and a summoned atronach, and I'll fighr by sniping from extreme range. If an enemy closes, my party will typically kill it before it reaches me.
In DAI, I do much the same. I control a mage and use the basic attack from extreme range. The enemy rarely has an opportunity to close. If special abilities were more powerful relative to the auto-attack, I probably wouldn't do this, but as the game is designed there's simply little incentive to use them.
Obviously fighting in close quarters is very different between the two games. I much prefer DAI's close-quarters fighting to Skyrim's. But DAO's was vastly better than DAI's.
I do believe I recall seeing that loading screen. Hmm. I hate to blame the engine, because the engine is powerful and in the end it's just an engine. Engines offer a huge amount of versatility. I find it hard to believe that an engine can "not be compatible" with something like full-party control. That's not how scripting works (especially for a point-and-click interaction, rather than direct WASD control).
It depends how much is baked into the engine, I suppose, and I don't have anywhere near enough information to answer that.