It's likely that all those reasons (our age, and Cassandra/Varric's ages, and the weirdness of the pairing) contribute? Particularly since Cassandra/Varric doesn't necessarily fall into the wish fulfilment category? Or it's at least less obvious if it does.
I think why I'm interested in the possibility of them as a couple is because they disagree, they don't get along at all, and that changes slowly. They grow closer, as real people do. They know each other, they're very aware of their faults as people, they're not blinded by affection. It would also be a second love. Varric had Bianca, Cassandra had Regalyan, and neither of those romances worked out well (putting it a bit lightly). A second romance, especially for a couple who are mature, is all the more lovely because it's unexpected, because it's the second time around.
Yes! They both may be romantics in their own way but I think they'd get into with their eyes open. I was thinking the other day that 'Love is Only Love' from Hello, Dolly could be their theme song, in a way.





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