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[sch1986]

Isabela: Well. "Captain." Can I call you captain? You can call me captain.
Aveline: I won't be doing that.
Isabela: Neither will I. Because you're a guard captain. No real authority. Not like on a ship.
Aveline: Well, you would know about having a large number of men under you.
Isabela: You've been waiting to use that one. Did you practice?
Aveline: Shut up.


Isabela: You have such pretty hair. What a lovely color.
Aveline: Other children used to laugh at me for having ginger hair.
Isabela: Really? Aww. I bet you were cute. Did you have pigtails?
Aveline: Sometimes.
Isabela: How precious! Little Aveline, running around the village with her flaming orange pigtails streaming behind her...
Isabela: ... and little boys all scattering and screaming for mercy as she approached.
Aveline: Shut up, wh*re.

And pretty much everything sarcastic Hawke has to say.

[Jackal19851111]

Sten & Zevran rescuing the Warden

 

Sten: Congratulations! You have gotten us further away from the door then when we started...

Zevran: Have a little faith my Qunari friend, I am a professional assassin!

Sten: I would hate to see an amateur then...

[Asteriski]

Merrill's line about politics not grabbing your feet when you go to buy food, probably. Or any of the Remigold bit at Ostagar.

[guntar74]

Pants that eat your eyeballs!! And Appostitutes. Oh and most of sigruns party banter from awakening.

[Vicarious117]

Sarcastic Hawke is all kinds of entertaining

 

Couldn't agree more, the only part I truly enjoyed about that game! lol

 

And yet I still killed her off..... for Stroud..... >.>

[Aravasia]

"What's a Meckel?"

[Lucky Thirteen]

"If they're not dead, watch out for a bunch of boneless women flopping through the streets."

[ERINII]

Isabela: So, just how good is Donnic? Is he cocksure?

 

Aveline: [Sighs] Just... get it out of your system.

 

Isabela: Did he... curl your toes?

Dwarf your beard?

Arl your Eamon?

Shank your Jory?

Praise your Maker?

Grope your grinder?

Establish his cannon?

Kaddis your Katie?

Dampen your Divine?

Pamper your Paragon?

Gray your Warden?

Pudding your peach?

Float your frigate?

Explore your Deep Roads?

How about "satisfy a demand of your Qun?" Or did he Cup your Joining? Or master your taint? That's an old one.

 

Aveline: Yes, all right? He is an incredibly proficient lover. Happy?

 

Isabela: Well that's rather personal, don't you think?

 

I cry evertim

[convergecultist3]

Viv: "Preposterous superstition."

Sky Watcher: "Preposterous is what you wore to a bog Orelesian."

[l7986]

• Morrigan: Have a care where your eyes linger, Alistair.
• Alistair: Yes, well don't worry. It's not what you think.
• Morrigan: I see.
• Alistair: I was looking at your nose.
• Morrigan: And what is it about my nose that captivates you so?
• Alistair: I was just thinking that it looks exactly like your mother's.
• Morrigan: I hate you so much.

[stuartpierce]

DA:O "No, I've never licked a lamppost in winter."
DA2  "For three years I have lain awake, every night. Aching for you. I'm still terrified I'll wake up."

DA:I  "Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance."

[CoM Solaufein]

• Leliana: I saw what you were doing back there.
• Sten: Oh?
• Leliana: Don't play innocent with me.
• Sten: What are you talking about?
• Leliana: You. Playing with that kitten.
• Sten: ...There was no kitten.
• Leliana: Sten, I saw you. You dangling a piece of twine for it.
• Sten: I was helping it train.
• Leliana: You're a big softie!
• Sten: We will never speak of this again.
• Leliana: Softie!

[Fredward]

This thread is seriously making me miss sarcasti-Hawke.

 

The Inquisitor just isn't the same.

[barkspawnVEVO]

There's so many gems, but these are the ones I can recall right now.

Assembly Dwarf 1: "I suggest we put the matter to a vote."
Assembly Dwarf 2: "And I suggest you have a taste of my family's mace!"

Sarcastic Hawke: *answers Sebastian*
Varric: "Hawke said sarcastically."
Hawke: "You know I hate when you do that."
Varroc: "Hawke muttered in an angry aside to the dwarf."

The Warden: [picks dog as a champion against Loghain]
Arl Eamon: "Ah, Warden.. I'm afraid we can't leave the fate of all Ferelden to your dog. Anyone with a leftover ham could buy his alliance. Choose someone else."

[Zwingtanz]

He was getting too old for this ****

[Johanna]

Something something ooh, cookies! That whole segment was effing gold.

Damn depressing how we had to cut down poor Carroll. He was a bit of a dick, yeah, but he was funny about it. RIP my sweet Queen of Antiva.

[Bfler]

Most lines of Oghren. His rough voice alone makes me laugh. The moment, when he is drunk and keels over in the camp is glorious.

[lynroy]

There's so many gems, but these are the ones I can recall right now.

Assembly Dwarf 1: "I suggest we put the matter to a vote."
Assembly Dwarf 2: "And I suggest you have a taste of my family's mace!"

This one kills me every time.

[Shelidon]

*in the Gallows*
Varric: I think that statue over there is a statement on modern life. Possibly the statement is, “Well, ****.”

[What?]

Morrigan: The way you look at him so intently, so hungrily... one would think you have never seen a man before.

Leliana: Where I look is not your concern.

Morrigan: True enough. There is no way I can deny you this... but why would he choose you, when he could have me?

Leliana: You're confident, for a woman raised in a swamp, far from anything remotely resembling civilization.

Morrigan: And maybe that is my appeal? A woman like you, why, he could find in any city in Thedas. You think you are cultured? Worldly?

Morrigan: Powdered, perfumed, you ooze elegance, but what man wants a woman who lies limp beneath him, frozen in place by the thought that she might ruin her hair?

Leliana: So you're saying you're wild and uninhibited? I suppose he must like your shrieking, you sound like a genlock being murdered--a sweet, sweet sound to a Grey Warden.

Leliana: You should try a little harder next time he takes you. I don't think they heard you in the Anderfels.

Morrigan: Tsk, tsk, Leliana. Watch your jealousy, or you'll give yourself wrinkles.

Leliana: Get away from me, or I shall have to take drastic measures.

Morrigan: Resorting to violence. And here I thought you were civilized.

 

---

 

Oghren: Hmmm. So you can turn into animals, aye? Like cats and wolves?

Morrigan: When the desire strikes me.

Oghren: Have you ever... you know. "When in Tevinter..."

Morrigan: That's a most curious little mind you have, dwarf. And what if I had? Would that thought comfort you during your lonely nights?

Oghren: Hmmm. Have you ever changed during--

Morrigan: Why are you suddenly asking me this?

Oghren: How do we know you're truly a woman? Or even human! You could be a chip mouse... or a nug! Ha! Imagine that!

Morrigan: Why, yes. I am actually a nug in human form. I have come to observe your kind.

Oghren: Huh. Nugs are good with extra sauce. I'm just saying.

 

---

 

Sera: So do all Gray Wardens have beards?

Blackwall: Just me. I stole all the beards, and all the power stored within. There can be only one.

 

---

 

Cassandra: Andraste's what?

Sera: The Sword-Eye-Hair thing. You know, "Knock-Knock. Inquisition." Andraste's Hairy Eyeball says "What are you doing?"

Cassandra: The EYE is wreathed in fire. The light of the Maker and the flames of Andraste's Sacrifice.

Sera: Oooooooooh. You need better painters. I just figured she was ginger.

Cassandra: She was.

Sera: Well, there you go, then.

Cassandra: (Sighs) No. No there we don't go.

[Switish]

"Well.....sh**" Love the expression on the Inqs face

Bull and Sera
Bull: Sera, I had a thought. The next time we run into a line of enemies, I'll pick you up and throw you.
Sera: Get off.
Bull: No! This could work ! I loft you over the front rank, and you land behind them to flank ... mayhem ensues.
Sera: I can't fly, you daft ******!
Bull: Think of the mayhem, Sera! Mayhem.
Sera: I'd get a wedge-up something fierce!
Bull: Look, you and Varric are the only ones small enough and he's... pretty dense.
Sera: Well, do some bloody presses!

[FreshRevenge]

Don't get smart with me. I'll shove my boot so far up your arse that you will picking bootstraps from your teeth

[Stinja]

Iron Bull:  Please stop stealing my kills

Sera:  That's not a thing;  get faster!

 

https://www.youtube....x-R2t3UyQ#t=275

 

(talking about headbutts)

Iron Bull:  I did it once with a charge, though.  Got a vint on each horn.

Blackwall: Nicely done.

Iron Bull:  Yes. 'cept for the part where they were both hanging from my head yelling for the rest of the fight.

 

[Kriztofer]

Adaar: Oh, I don't know. You did save a city from a horde of rampaging Qunari.
Hawke: I don't see how that really applies... or is there a horde of rampaging Qunari I don't know about?
Adaar: I am a horde of rampaging Qunari.

 

"The Inquisitor was a funny Qunari." That's what they'll say one day, you watch.

 - Cassandra

[VentiSei]

"The Inquisitor was a funny Qunari." That's what they'll say one day, you watch.

 - Cassandra

This