Varric: I'm pretty sure any priest who prays for Bartrand would burst into flames
Merrill: [Shocked expression] I didn't know preisthood was so dangerous
Varric: don't worry Daisy, the chantry keeps a lot of water on hand
Cullen: I am not Bait!
Cole: No, I'm not a duck
Not a line but when you are deciding what to do with Cole, Vivienne says he has no place here, Solas replies with 'wouldn't you say the same of an apostate?' the look she gives him at that has me laughing so hard.
There's this really funny line from Harding that I can't remember word-for-word. It goes something like:
"Cassandra came through here looking like a storm. But that's just her face, right?"
Guest_Imanol de Tafalla_*
Cassandra: What of magister Erimond? Do you sense a secret pain in him?
Cole: No. Erimond is an *******.
Cassandra: (Laughs.) Well said.
"Let me be very specific. I don't do anything involving children or animals"
Guest_AedanStarfang_*
Shale: "Now, let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?"
Hawke: "I am here to report Ser Conrad."
Stoned Templar: "I know him. Did he do...something? Or something?"
Hawke: "Last night I saw Ser Conrad sacrifice a goat...to the Great Demon. Then he howled loudly."
Stoned Templar: "W-what demon?"
Hawke: "Oh yes. He was carrying on about how much he wanted to do ...demony thing."
Isabela: "Apostates? Prostitutes? Apostitutes!"
War table operations have also great lines 
Cullen requires 170 kegs of ale:
But they were not enough for 15 people!
Yes! This way great. Plus the his whining the whole time in the fade and after. Sorry Bull. You're going to the fade every time buddy.Every moment someone says "Well... s**t." In particular, when the Inquisitor is in the Fade and asks Divine Justinia about the fear demon.
Also, when Iron Bull imitates Krem in the Fade.
"Hey, chief. Let's join the Inquisition. Good fights for a good cause."
"I don't know Krem. I hear there are demons."
"Ah, don't worry about the demons chief. I'm sure we won't see many-"
(mutters) "I can't believe I listened to that-" (yells) "A**HOLE!"
I don't know why but this line makes me laugh for absolutely no reason....
Fiona: Harvestmere... 9:42 DraGON!
I also like Cole's reasoning...
Cole: "...He killed me! So, I have to kill him back!"
Guest_Roly Voly_*
I don't know why but this line makes me laugh for absolutely no reason....
Fiona: Harvestmere... 9:42 DraGON!
In her defense, she's passing the mother of all kidney red lyrium stones at the time.
kidneyred lyrium stones at the time.
This is true, it's too big enough to fully pass the conventional way. A c-section is not even an option since it's more than just crowning, it's a Caridin sized crown of epic proportions . If anything we need to stop the dark future to save Fiona from her future kidney red lyrium stones. It's a fate far worse than Leliana being tortured.
Guest_Faerunner_*
Elven Warden: I may be elven, but more than that--I'm a person.
Merrill: Your "Maker" is a story you humans use to explain the world. We have our own stories. I don't need to borrow yours.
Vaughan: By dawn, the entire city will run red with elven blood! (Not for any particular reason; I just think it sounds cool.)
As for conversations:
- Zevran: So, err....is it Lord Loghain?
- Loghain: I am no longer a teyrn, nor even a knight. Address me without a title, as you would any other Grey Warden.
- Zevran: So just Loghain, then?
- Loghain: Correct. What's on your mind?
- Zevran: You know who I am, yes? I was one of the Crows you hired to kill the Grey Wardens.
- Loghain: I thought you looked familiar.
- Zevran: Well, I just wanted to report that I failed my mission, Loghain.
- Loghain: You don't say.
- Zevran: I'm terribly broken up over it.
- Loghain: Hmm. Well thank you kindly for informing me.
That was so great haha.
Internally Loghain must of been like
Another vote for "Swooping is bad".
(translated from german) Inquisitor to Cullen before the battle against Cory:
"He [Corypheus] could get bored. And give up. It could happen."
This one isn't comical, but when I heard Dorain say it it stirred so much emotion that I cry every time this exchange comes up in a play through. The words have stuck with me they are just that powerful. And also I just love Dorian.
"Selfish, I suppose. Not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside"
And also literally EVERYTHING Sera says! She's made me lol so many times while playing inquisition. Her, Dorain and IB together are my fav companions.
Inquisitor: "It has been a rough few days"
Adan: "That's an understatement. And more ahead if the weather is any indication"
Scout Harding: "Careful Your Worship, that optimism might be catching."
Varric: "Ansburg? Ostwick? *grumbles* This is going to bother me"
(human background for herald/inq (prisoner at the time lol), this is right at the start of the game, party banter style which inqy can reply to)
War table operations have also great lines
*snip*
Oh and my personal favorite (the mission you get from the tavern bard):
Cullen: "No. This is ridiculous."
"I am a woman and I'm fighting"
"One of those things is not true"
"You cost me Alistair, you know."
"You can thank me for that later."
Pretty much anything Sten, Oghren, Shale, Zevran and Alistair say tbh.
Cullen: Sera's been in here and done something and when I find out I'll.....do something back
Talking about the Eluvian
Cullen: Morrigan claims if I wish hard enough a fleet of griffons will appear under my command
Inq : See, that's...probably not true but it would be fun
Cullen: Well...yes, but that wasn't my point.
Cullen: Inquisition, Will you follow?
Will you fight?
Will we triumph?
Cullen: Sera's been in here and done something and when I find out I'll.....do something back
Wait, does he actually comment on the pranks you commit with Sera? When does he say this?
Wait, does he actually comment on the pranks you commit with Sera? When does he say this?
No, it's a random thing he says to his messenger that stands in his room, I have had it before I do the pranks with Sera. Unless it's not suppose to fire before but it has done.
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