This is how I've always felt.
Some people want nothing life-like about their games other than graphics. They'll say "I make enough hard choices and face enough negativity in real life, I play games to enjoy myself and escape."
Well I play games to escape too. But I like movies, games and books that imitate life. I like when those things can tug at my heartstrings. I get to see that these characters I care about don't always have an easy way out either. They have to face hardships as well. I enjoy escaping to a place where I can actually relate to the people I'm taking this adventure with.
You can't always talk your way out of a situation. There's not always a clear, right or easy path. You can't save everyone and you don't always control your own fate.
That's all fair enough and I would not in any way be opposed to a game that has choices like this. The problem I see when people ask for this kind of "bad choices paradigm" in the ME3 ending is that the ME trilogy was not set up for it.
In three games, you condition the player to expect a variety in the outcomes of their choices, ranging from an optimal to a sub-optimal outcome (there are not really many dialogue choices where you can actually outright fail through dialogue in the trilogy, you will always gain by getting to the choice as such).
It is not surprising that people expected the same level of variety from the endings. There are so many options to shape the story that the tone of it, the theme, the overarching narrative trend, maybe even the genre can be different for two different playthroughs.
A renegade player may experience more of a "we sacrifice for the greater good" kind of theme, while a paragon player may have the impression that they just went through a classic epic tale. A non-persuasion no-sidequests player may even see the entire thing as a tragidy with all the losses. Add to that all the variation in between those extremes on the spectrum and the individual impressions and interpretations of different players and you end up with a huge variety. And that was exactly what BioWare - according to their own statements - always wanted to achieve, well, congratulations, they did - until the ending.
I believe, the ending would have been better of, if it catered to these different player experiences and provded this sort of variety. You may disagree, based on the argument you presented (and which makes sense on it's own) but I think that it had no business being the final choice of choices in this trilogy, based on all that we have had before.