1820 réponses à ce sujet

[I present Chuck Bass]

I'm guessing he went to the wrong club.

 It's just that no matter what gender,what race, no matter the condition... everyone gets harassed.

Some just choose to make a big deal out of it, others just ignore as a part of life.

[Ynqve]

Well i sure as hell not going to dress like a nun, leave my my hair unwashed or go to work looking like a scruff in an attempt to hide from those catcalls. Noted, in the environment im in, I've probably heared 1 catcall in the 9 years I lived here. And that's in the middle of the afternoon. Not all attentions are bad. I cant be too focused dodging catcalls and totally miss celebrating my feminity and miss genuine appreciation.

Anyway that still does not explain a lot why people are against sexiness in game. The lack of female protags I understand, but then that's the reason I only play Dragon Age. But sexiness? I appreciate them. Except Isabella, because for all my celebration of feminity talks, no way im going out in public without my bloomers.

 

Who says you should do that? Getting hit on can be nice or a nightmare. It all depends on the situation. If I'm out clubbing or at a pub, then I'm probably going to take the compliment and politely turn them down. If I'm out walking my dog with unwashed hair wearing a parka and wellingtons and someone cat calls me then I'm going to question their sanity and ask them to eff off. 

[I present Chuck Bass]

Indeed. My mother dresses sensibly and to look good for her, and her alone. Yet she doesn't come home crying because someone gave her a compliment.

 OH it's no longer a compliment because of the few creepy guys who say it... .

It should be illegal to compliment anyone, ever, because well it might make them feel uncomfortable.

[Xetykins]

It's just that no matter what gender,what race, no matter the condition... everyone gets harassed.
Some just choose to make a big deal out of it, others just ignore as a part of life.

Well not completely ignore it.It depends on how bad it is. There's a reason why I wear my protruding engagement ring on my right hand :')

[I present Chuck Bass]

Who says you should do that? Getting hit on can be nice or a nightmare. It all depends on the situation. If I'm out clubbing or at a pub, then I'm probably going to take the compliment and politely turn them down. If I'm out walking my dog with unwashed hair wearing a parka and wellingtons and someone cat calls me then I'm going to question their sanity. 

some guys are excusively only attracted to dogwalkers who wear parkas though.

But wait you are saying if you are unwashed and not done up and someone compliments you.. that would be wrong?

....? So as men we are supposed to be appalled by natural beauty, and only warrant a compliment when a woman is all done up?

[Colonelkillabee]

 OH it's no longer a compliment because of the few creepy guys who say it... .

It should be illegal to compliment anyone, ever, because well it might make them feel uncomfortable.

Except it'd only be illegal for men, and women can say whatever the **** they want about us passing by. Women are as bad as guys in certain settings with the flirting.

 

College, mainly.

[Panda]

So it's women fault for not taken compliment when she gets uncomfortable or fearful over catcalling especially if she's alone?

 

You know that the world isn't actually safe place for women?

[XxPrincess(x)ThreatxX]

Id guess it depends on the individual on if somethings a complement or harassment, i don't mind someone saying i look nice but not pushing it, id object if it went further or any unwanted touching was involved tho

[I present Chuck Bass]

Except it'd only be illegal for men, and women can say whatever the **** they want about us passing by. Women are as bad as guys in certain settings with the flirting.

 

College, mainly.

 As a college student, I can attest to that.

[Colonelkillabee]

So it's women fault for not taken compliment when she gets uncomfortable or fearful over catcalling especially if she's alone?

 

You know that the world isn't actually safe place for women?

The worlds not a safe place for anyone, newsflash.

 

And define alone. Alone in an alley away from people, duh. "Alone" out in public on a crowded street? Boo hoo.

[I present Chuck Bass]

So it's women fault for not taken compliment when she gets uncomfortable or fearful over catcalling especially if she's alone?

 

You know that the world isn't actually safe place for women?

It's not a safe for anyone....?

What are you getting at?

That it is far more dangerous for women? Well you are going to have to back that up with numerical evidence.

[Xetykins]

Who says you should do that? Getting hit on can be nice or a nightmare. It all depends on the situation. If I'm out clubbing or at a pub, then I'm probably going to take the compliment and politely turn them down. If I'm out walking my dog with unwashed hair wearing a parka and wellingtons and someone cat calls me then I'm going to question their sanity and ask them to eff off.

Who said that some women cant be nice to look at wearing weĺlies? If it happened to you then you must look good on it. It sure as hell did not happen to me.

[Panda]

The worlds not a safe place for anyone, newsflash.

 

And define alone. Alone in an alley away from people, duh. "Alone" out in public on a crowded street? Boo hoo.

 

Well do you feel safe walking your dog at 9PM when its dark outside? Cause I sure don't. And only potential threat there at that time for me are men so I pretty much side-eye every men passing by, looking for possible escape routes. It might sound weird for not woman, I doubt every woman either feels same as I but let's just say that I won't risk it.

[Laurelinde]

That's bieng  a little dramatic

 

Poor women I tell ya. You know many women wouldn't agree with what you're saying.

 

They don't have to.  That is not required for it to be true for a lot of other women.  We do not share a universal woman consciousness like the Borg.  The fact is, many, many women have been ogled, leered at, catcalled and harassed when they are just going about their business, and have not, and do not enjoy it.

 

 

 OH it's no longer a compliment because of the few creepy guys who say it...  .

It should be illegal to compliment anyone, ever, because well it might make them feel uncomfortable.

 

Now who's being dramatic?  Has anyone, anywhere suggested that giving compliments should be illegal?  What is being said is that catcallling and harassment is NOT the same as a compliment, and I attempted to illustrate some of the difference when I told the story comparing and contrasting an actual compliment with catcalling.

 

I have never in my life "come home crying" because someone gave me a compliment, and the implication that women who object to being ogled are just over-sensitive little flowers is a ridiculous attempt to discredit people actually feeling dehumanised and unsafe.

 

 

Obviously within reason. I'm pretty sure you'd call this guy uptight:

 

 

Unless you think women should defs wear bubbles to avoid all those mean evil men complimenting their skimpy little skirt they totally didn't wear for attention. Yea that's not uptight at all.

 

This is what you said.  These are your words.  There is a distinct implication in this that women are dressing for attention and that people who complain about compliments are being disingenuous; not to mention that catcalling only happens to women who are dressed in a certain way.  If that is not what you intended, perhaps you should be more clear about what your words imply.  

 

Finally, the onus should not be on women to 'dress in bubbles' to avoid the male gaze. 

 

You're tired of hearing about how women don't like being objectified?  How do you think the women who don't like being objectified feel about, you know, being objectified all the damn time, including plenty of times they don't ever mention in public?

[XxPrincess(x)ThreatxX]

Who said that some women cant be nice to look at wearing weĺlies? If it happened to you then you must look good on it. It sure as hell did not happen to me.

Wellies can look cute, i had glitter on mine when i was young (to my shame )

[WildOrchid]

You obvi don't know straight men, lol.

 

And what do you mean if it's fun? Isn't that always the intent, even if it isn't well received?

 

I got hit on by a dude before, with his girl friend as winggirl... it was disturbing for sure, but lol I took the compliment and went on...

 

Compliments a compliment really. They're nice.

 

I thought they usually do this as a joke?

How can you get hit on by a straight dude tho? Isn't he supposed to be interested in women usually and not men?

 

Unless he just compliments you, which that's fine. I can appreciate a dude's compliment too if it's tasteful enough and not the type of "you got a great arse or ******". If it's a woman tho i wouldn't mind because reasons ok.

[HuldraDancer]

There's a difference between a being complimented and being harassed. Which is which varies for everyone I'm sure. Anyway I think I'll drop out of here for a while it's getting pretty tense and I have comics to catch up on. Later odd thread.

 

[Laurelinde]

some guys are excusively only attracted to dogwalkers who wear parkas though.

But wait you are saying if you are unwashed and not done up and someone compliments you.. that would be wrong?

....? So as men we are supposed to be appalled by natural beauty, and only warrant a compliment when a woman is all done up?

 

What imperative is there for you to express your attraction to a woman in public unsolicited at all?  What will happen if you just think to yourself, oh, she's cute, and then carry on with your day?  Women do not always need to hear about someone finding us attractive at every single possible opportunity, particularly since there is every likelihood that she is not interested in reciprocating.

 

I pass men on the street all the time who I think are good looking.  I glance, I think, 'wow, nice', I move on.  I do not impose on him, I do not approach him, I do not make comments, I do not try to touch.  Finding someone attractive in no way gives you a pass to behave however you want towards someone, and they do not owe you one iota of their time simply for existing in a manner which is pleasing to you.

[BobZilla84]

Cassandra is the manliest dude in the group.
*nods*

Hey you take that back Z I wont stand for it "Raises Shield" I will defend Cassandra from you. lol

[Colonelkillabee]

This is what you said.  These are your words. 

 

And once again, nowhere in that statement does it suggest all women are asking for it unless all women wear skimpy skirts. Again, your reading comprehension has failed you and you are wrong, sorry beb.

[I present Chuck Bass]

 

They don't have to.  That is not required for it to be true for a lot of other women.  We do not share a universal woman consciousness like the Borg.  The fact is, many, many women have been ogled, leered at, catcalled and harassed when they are just going about their business, and have not, and do not enjoy it.

 

 

 

Now who's being dramatic?  Has anyone, anywhere suggested that giving compliments should be illegal?  What is being said is that catcallling and harassment is NOT the same as a compliment, and I attempted to illustrate some of the difference when I told the story comparing and contrasting an actual compliment with catcalling.

 

I have never in my life "come home crying" because someone gave me a compliment, and the implication that women who object to being ogled are just over-sensitive little flowers is a ridiculous attempt to discredit people actually feeling dehumanised and unsafe.

 

 

 

 you are kind of" coming home and crying" on this thread...? The fact is something you consider a compliment is harassment to another and vice versa. So what I am saying is the only solution for men in this case would to be to stop complimenting women in general, because as a man, how can you tell how it will be taken?

 

My point is, it happens to EVERYONE.. not just women... and further you kind of sound like a " I want my cake and eat too" right now.

[XxPrincess(x)ThreatxX]

This is what you said.  These are your words.  There is a distinct implication in this that women are dressing for attention and that people who complain about compliments are being disingenuous; not to mention that catcalling only happens to women who are dressed in a certain way.  If that is not what you intended, perhaps you should be more clear about what your words imply.  
 
Finally, the onus should not be on women to 'dress in bubbles' to avoid the male gaze.

I dislike the "women who dress nice want it" attitude, thats the same excuse people use after they've sexually assaulted someone, cos they were "obviously asking for it" if they dressed sexy

[I present Chuck Bass]

What imperative is there for you to express your attraction to a woman in public unsolicited at all?  What will happen if you just think to yourself, oh, she's cute, and then carry on with your day?  Women do not always need to hear about someone finding us attractive at every single possible opportunity, particularly since there is every likelihood that she is not interested in reciprocating.

 

I pass men on the street all the time who I think are good looking.  I glance, I think, 'wow, nice', I move on.  I do not impose on him, I do not approach him, I do not make comments, I do not try to touch.  Finding someone attractive in no way gives you a pass to behave however you want towards someone, and they do not owe you one iota of their time simply for existing in a manner which is pleasing to you.

so everyone should be like you?

 

Here's my issue.

If a guy say's hey good looking to you on the subway.

and you reply,

" Please don't say that to me again"

And from their on, everyday, he says that or something similar.... THAT'S HARASSMENT.

 

However, if the man only says it that one time and never again.. THAT'S JUST AN UNWANTED COMPLIMENT, NOT HARASSMENT.

Majority of the people on here are complaining about unwanted compliments.

[Master Warder Z_]

Hey you take that back Z I wont stand for it "Raises Shield" I will defend Cassandra from you. lol

o.o Cassandra needs defending?

[Br3admax]

I was sexually harrassed at work. A female co-worker pressed her boobs against my back in the coffee room when we were alone. I actually didn´t know how to react to it, make a case with the boss for it or just stay quiet. I stayed quiet though, man thing. I might get ridiculed over it.

It's okay. We're here for you.