63 réponses à ce sujet

[Broganisity]

Dear Director of the Darkspawn Public Relations Department,

We would like to extend our belated apologies as to the death of your prior employer, Urthemiel. While the Grey Wardens were not involved en masse, the ordeal during Ferelden's Landsmeet caused a great deal of issues and from the chaos one of our members was responsible for dealing the final blow. We understand that this is upsetting and the scars are likely still there, but your employer could not be sufficiently reasoned with as they were busy, in the words of eyewitnesses, 'Destroying Denerim'. The Grey Warden in question has been dealt with as appropriate in such cases and any and all rumors of their continued work with us is purely superstition and heresay. We would like to again hope that your new employer can be found and dealt with in an organized and proper manner.

 

We sent another of our members to the Deep Roads two weeks prior to the sending of this letter, and the message we relayed was received with mixed opinion amongst the Dwarven nobility. We cannot say more on the matter as matters concerning politics amongst the various nations of Thedas are rarely of our concern. The member then went to join the Legion in attending your dance, and we hope all is now well in that regard.

 

...A messenger just entered my office while writing this, stating one of our Mabari wardens was crushed by a boulder thrown by one of your ogres. We presumed you were speaking metaphorically and not actually planning to throw boulders at our canine employees, who have neither the size nor strength to stop such an object from being thrown at them. I have been asked to inform you that the Grey Wardens condemn this act and humbly request justice be dealt upon the guilty party.
 

sincerely,

Head of the Grey Warden Department of Inquiry.

 

P.S. I received the sample of your employer's music today and it is certainly...interesting. Far moreso than the one I was receiving while Urthemiel was in charge of your organization. I have shared it with the rest of the wardens here in Orlais, and we have a few ideas as to how to make your party in the Deep Roads more exciting. I will get back to you on this because Warden [Name Smeared] just entered my office and is rather upset about something. I doubt it's related.

[Dragonzzilla]

Has no one mentioned "The Taint, The Grundle and the Fleshy Fun Bridge" for this thread? Pity.

[Silcron]

Dear Head of the Grey Warden Department of Inquiry.

It was certainly a pity, and while we are saddened by the loss we have danced on. A difference between our kinds is that the Song prevent us from mourning or what would seem the usual worries of your people. I am told from some ancient members of our group that nothing will even compare to when the Seven sung together with ironically Dumat directing the singing as we spread the joy of the Song to the world, but alas the show must go on and we cannot let loss hinder our performance.

I must address something though. Being unable to hear the Song they clearly misunderstood what was happening. Urthemiel is, after all, the God of Beauty and seeing Denerim must have caused in him an unstoppable urge to reform it, to make it realize its full potential of beauty. Your artificial constructions clash a lot with the natural environment and our organic approach fits in so much more, though I cannot say what design Urthemiel had in mind for Denerim exactly.

We prepared a performance to the best of our abilities when one of the members of Shriek Express relayed the news they were coming. We had drakes, ogres, brontos and even the miners to greet them. Sadly most of the dwarves were not accepting of their comrades choice of way of life. Worry not though, we are more than accustmed to dealing with their rigid system of traditions and their conservative point of view. While some members on both sides gave their lives for the performance it was a exquisite one. The few members who did not glorified their performance in such a way have decided to join us so overall we would say it was a good meeting. We also honored their beautiful sacrifice by setting their bodies properly so they will mimic their finals moments in the dance. It brings tears to the eyes.

My goodness! I have inquired about that game and it seems it was Brob's fault. You see, your mabari friends started biting them while they were playing fetch and some of them got overexcited, while most of them continued to play fetch with just as much excitement as your mabari friend Brob loves playing ball far too much and thoght the mabari would like to change games. He's told us that he was inmensly saddened when the mabari would not return the boulder. Switching games without warning the beings playing is very unconsiderate. He has been punished by having to live outside for the time being. If you wish to further address him I trust you will be able to find him and talk to him about it.

Best wishes,

Director of the Darkspawn Public Relations Department.

P.S. Will you wear the shining armor with the floppy blue parts? We love how those floppy parts on the back move as you perform your dance. It gives this trail to your movement that seems just majestic. We eagerly await your surprise since you have very rarely dissapointed us. Speaking of dissapointment, is the 'Fiona' warden still with you? She is the greatest dissapointment you've given us in the last decades.

[lynroy]

You mean to say you don't want to #TasteMyTaint?

Not my taint of course as I am a bit iffy about having more than a single pair of breasts.

ROFLMAO that made me laugh so hard I'm surprised no one at work came over to see if I was still alive! Guess it happens so often they don't care. "Sounds like Lyn found something funny...again."

This thread, I love it. It has provided entertainment during an otherwise dull night.

[Silcron]

ROFLMAO that made me laugh so hard I'm surprised no one at work came over to see if I was still alive! Guess it happens so often they don't care. "Sounds like Lyn found something funny...again."
This thread, I love it. It has provided entertainment during an otherwise dull night.

Our pleasure If you want to jump in with the roleplay go right ahead

[lynroy]

Our pleasure If you want to jump in with the roleplay go right ahead

I'd love to but my brain is not creative enough for such a thing. I'll let the rest of you do all the work while I reap the benefits.

[Dragonzzilla]

Boom!

[Broganisity]

Dear Director of the Darkspawn Public Relations Department,

I regret to inform you that this is the last message I will be able to send you. We had gathered in Orlais as planned and...well...turns out attempting to summon an entire party of Demons to join in the dance below wasn't such a good idea. Not only that, but apparently the message we were getting wasn't from your people specifically. Regardless, we are currently in hot water with The Inquisition so we will have to settle this before any further interactions can be commenced. Regardless, the Grey Wardens remain at the ready for the next time you bring your dancing to the surface.

 

Your friend,

Head of the Grey Warden Department of Inquiry.

P.S. It turns out MY invitation to the dance was actually legitimate. Maybe I'll see you down in the Deep Roads?

 

(Good times, innit?)

[Silcron]

Dear Head of the Grey Warden Department of Inquiry.

 

It saddens me greatly to hear such bad news from your side. We will hold a special dance to honor your people and know that you are welcomed amongst our people. It will be a pleasure that dance with you at the tune of the song. I trust you will enjoy being one of us, everyone does once they hear the song!

 

Eagerly awaiting to meet you,

 

Director of the Darspawn Public Relations Department

 

(yeah, you had a great idea with the letter :-)

[Broganisity]

(Someone's gotta bring the sexy back add to the hilarity. Had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong.)

[StrangeStrategy]

Darkspawn look awesome in DAI. Have you ever zoomed up on a ghoul's face? Holy crap. They're freaking evil looking.

The only complaint I have is their animations: If they could be more hunched over, more shambly or feral, it would go a long way. As it is, they walk around like normal humans, which just doesn't seem right. Other than that, I think they've finally nailed the Darkspawn design. I'd like to see Shrieks/Ogres/Genlocks again though.

[Broganisity]

Darkspawn look awesome in DAI. Have you ever zoomed up on a ghoul's face? Holy crap. They're freaking evil looking.

The only complaint I have is their animations: If they could be more hunched over, more shambly or feral, it would go a long way. As it is, they walk around like normal humans, which just doesn't seem right. Other than that, I think they've finally nailed the Darkspawn design. I'd like to see Shrieks/Ogres/Genlocks again though.

Most generic enemies are reskins of the Venatori. Possily with a few passive variations but otherwise same animations.

Hurlok Alpha = Venatori Brute, for example.

[Tex]

The reason that really convince me for #TaintForThedas cause is that I really believe that Music is something wonderful for the soul & for humanity, elfity, dwarfity, & qunarity. That's why it's very important that everyone must be able to hear the Song all the time. Under the Song, everyone will stop fighting each other, whether you're Qunari, Human, Elf, Dwarf, you're all linked to the Taint.

And hey, the Archdemon must be really talented! I'll be voting for her for the next Thedas Idol or Thedas Got Talent

#ArchdemonForThedasIdol2015

Ah this is great I got a real good laugh out of this thank you. Also I quite like the darkspawn expesialy ones like the architect so sign me up for the taint.

[Dragonzzilla]

I found an interesting darkspawn codex. Here.