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[Das Tentakel]

World War Two's Strangest Battle: When Americans and Germans Fought Together

Days after Hitler’s suicide a group of American soldiers, French prisoners, and, yes, German soldiers defended an Austrian castle against an SS division—the only time Germans and Allies fought together in World War II. Andrew Roberts on a story so wild that it has to be made into a movie.
The Battle for Castle Itter (Wikipedia)

Good find Han. I read about this a year or so ago, it really is a story worth making a movie about. It is one of many strange but true tales from the latter part of World War II, not all of them happy ones unfortunately.

But that’s for another time. Lee and Gangl’s action at Schloss Itter wasn’t the only case of German soldiers coming to the rescue of prisoners. Elsewhere in Tirol, a much larger group of German soldiers commanded by Captain Wichard von Alvensleben (scion of an old Prussian aristocratic family) saved a large group of prisoners from the SS in Niederdorf in southern Tirol (now in the still mostly German-speaking Italian autonomous province of Bolzano / Bozen). The prisoners included the last pre-Anschluss Austrian chancellor, Kurt von Schuschnigg and the former (and Jewish…) French Prime Minister Léon Blum and members of the family of Count von Stauffenberg (he of the failed 1944 assassination attempt on Hitler and coup).

Von Alvensleben was 'luckier' than his comrade Major Gangl and survived the event (well, lucky...his wife Cora had committed suicide several months before as the Soviets overran their home in what is now western Poland) . He was able to persuade the SS guards (who were under orders to execute their prisoners rather than allow them freed) to give up and withdraw to the city of Bozen. Nobody was killed, and in later life von Alvensleben, who was deeply religious, considered this not mere good luck, but

…sondern Fügung und Führung durch das Walten außerweltlicher Kräfte, die wir Christen als Gott bezeichnen

(‘…guided by the Will of higher powers, which we Christians call God’).

So far so good (Alvensleben did some odd jobs after the war, before remarrying and finding his vocation working for a major charity). One of the men saved by Von Alvensleben, however, was Lieutenant-Colonel John Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill, also known as ‘Mad Jack’. Churchill was an enthusiastic archer, bagpipe player and motorbike rider, who is on record as the last English soldier who killed an enemy (a German NCO) with a longbow (May 1940, near Richebourg in Pas-de-Calais).
Later, during a British amphibious raid in Norway he leapt forward from his position in one of the landing craft playing ‘March of the Cameron Men’ on his bagpipe.
During the Allied landings on Sicily he led his commandos with a Scottish broadsword slung around his waist, a longbow around his neck and his bagpipes under his arm (he has been quoted saying ‘any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed’).



'Mad Jack' Churchill, sword in hand, leading a training amphibious assault near Inveraray, Scotland

In 1944 he was captured in action in Yugoslavia. Imprisoned in Sachsenhausen near Berlin, he escaped but was recaptured near Rostock, and later transferred to Tyrol, where he was freed by von Alvensleben and his men. He then walked 150 kilometers to Verona, where he met US forces.

Just in time for the Burmese campaign against the Japanese! Or so he hoped. Unfortunately, by the time Churchill arrived in India, the Americans had dropped the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and Japan had surrendered, and ‘Mad Jack’, deeply disappointed, commented ‘If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years’.

He then went on to have some adventures in Palestine during the last days of the British mandate and discovered the delights of surfing in Australia.

Quite the adrenaline junkie, ‘Mad Jack’.

[Decepticon Leader Sully]

^{Two/Three years before both Johnny Cash and Elvis start their musical career?}

 

yeah it was during his national service I think.

[Decepticon Leader Sully]

The Bloop dicoverd in 1997 when triangulated came from an area close to the fictional city of Ri'yleh  from thr HP Lovecraft mythos. 

Dont worry..or celebrate just yet the Bloop is thaught to just be the sound from an ice quake.

 

the Bloop was a ultra low fequenct sound that was captured on underwater recording devices.

it was used in a fictional documentery about Mermaids... witch many people beleave is true. 

[Steelcan]

The assassination of the Emperor Commodus is a particular favorite of mine (please note that the usual stipulations about ancient sources apply)

 

Upon his decision to inaugurate the new year in a different manner than most, supposedly as a gladiator, a plot was hatched to kill the Emperor.  In addition to his questionable choices about gladiatorial obsession, he also had a nasty habit of re-naming everything in his own image.  He was also slated to launch a fresh round of executions because he was a fun guy like that.

 

Several of those slated for the block, and allegedly his mistress Marcia, decided they'd rather not die, and instead conspired to poison Commodus.  Marcia gave him wine laced with some sort of poison, he started vomiting violently, and in fear of him expelling the poison and not dying, the conspirators found his wrestling coach/partner Narcissus and he strangled the man naked in a bath, filled with his own vomit.

 

A rather glorious end don't you think

[Han Shot First]

With today being the 150th anniversary of the surrender of Robert E. Lee's Army of Northern Virginia to Ulysses S. Grant and the Union Army at Appomattox, an event that would usher in the end of the American Civil War, I thought I'd resurrect this thread for one history's strangest coincidences...

 

Lee's surrender at Appomatox took place inside the house of a grocer named Wilmer McLean. McLean wasn't originally a resident of Appomattox, but had moved his family to the region after the first battle of Bull's Run. That battle took part near a town called Manassas, which McLean had originally called home. During the first battle of Bull's Run McLean's home had been commandeered as the headquarters of one of the Confederate generals, and a cannonball fired by Union artillery had crashed through the home and into the kitchen. That close call prompted McLean to move his family to Appomatox, which was then farther from the front lines. What makes that interesting is that the first battle of Bull's Run was the first major battle of the American Civil War. The cannonball that crashed through McLean's kitchen was one of the first shots of a conflict that would rage for four bloody years, claiming the lives of around 620,000 people. It is often said that the war began in McLean's backyard and ended in his front parlour.

 

[PhroXenGold]

How about the Dogger Bank Incident (and the aftermath)

 

During the Russian-Japanese war, in 1904, the Russian Fleet, sailing from their European base to the Far East, came across what they believed to be Japanese ships in the North Sea and opened fire. Eventually, after realising that they weren't suffering any return fire, they actually investigated, and discovered they had been "attacked" by a group of English fishing boats. Three fishermen were killed, as were two people on the Russian ships who were hit by firendly fire.

 

This nearly resulted in war between Britain and Russia, and did result in serious diplomatic consequences, including the closing of the Suez Canal to the Russians, thereby forcing them to go via the Cape.

 

But even that wasn't enough for the plucky Russian navy. While passing Morrocco, they lost contact with one with one of their ships for several days. When they found it, said ship reported that it had engaged several Japanese warships. And by "Japanese warships", they actually meant "European merchant ships".  They also managed to break the underground telegraph cable in Tangeirs with one of their ship's rudders, cutting off contact from that city to Europe for a week or so.

 

But eventually, the Russian fleet made it to the far East. And promptly got their asses handed to them on a plate by their Japanese counterparts at the Battle of Tsushima....

[Steelcan]

The Byzantines in general are chalk full of lovely stories for weird history.

 

like one certain Basil II "The Bulghar Slayer", who has the distinction of having been a child (5) at his first ascent to the throne, but managed to NOT get ded, but indeed went on to become one of the most successful emperors in Byzantine history since the Islamic conquests.  That he managed to not get offed is amazing enough, but that he was enormously competent is even more surprising

 

or the tale of the Empresses Zoe and Theodora, one who married three different emperors, and her sister who lived in a convent until she was 50 and was then dragged kicking and screaming out and made co-ruler with her sister (whom she loathed with good reason) following the blinding of Zoe's third husband.

 

Related to the Byzantines as he served under them in the Varangian Guard, was Harald Sigurdsson,he was a member of the Varangian Guard, a bodyguard unit drawn from the Norse peoples of Scandinavia and later many came from England after the Norman conquest.  Eschewing the traditional Byzantine propensity for heavy cavalry in favor of infantry, the Varangians were a shock unit.  During the Byzantine attempt to reconquer Sicily from the Saracen in the early part of the 11th century, Harald was in charge of a siege.

 

The siege wasn't going well and the Byzantine troops were getting restless.  The Saracen troops sensing weakness offered terms to the Greeks and their Scandinavian troops.  However, they discovered that Harald had died of a disease that was ravaging the camp.  His closest friends and allies requested that he be buried with full honors in the town's chapel in consecrated ground.  The Saracen garrison accepted this in return for the siege being lifted following the burial.

 

The coffin was brought up to the city gates and allowed into the city itself.  After they crossed the walls, Harald sprung from his coffin, axes in hand, cutting down the Saracen escort with his bodyguards.  They fought their way through the entire garrison to open the gates again and the Greek army came pouring into the city.

 

The story is sadly apocryphal, and appears in the careers of several renowned generals of Byzantine fame such as the "White Death of the Saracen" Nikephoros II Phokas (later Emperor and a pretty crappy one), Belisarius "the last Roman", and Alexios I Kommenos the savior of Byzantium.

 

Another entertaining story of Harald, is that later, during the same campaign to drive the Saracens from Sicily, he was besieging another town and was yet again facing difficulties.  Realizing that the same trick wouldn't work twice, he instead found a more creative solution.  Supposedly, while making his rounds around the besieging lines he noticed that there were birds in the fields outside the city.  This struck him as odd as there were no nearby forests to provide shelter for the birds.  He concluded that they must be roosting in the city itself and gave orders for his men to capture as many of the birds as they could.

 

After capturing the birds in large numbers, Harald had his men attached burning straw to the birds and sent them flying back home in their panic.  They landed in the roofs of the town and caught the building fire, including the granaries, the barracks, and even the local palace.

 

The war itself became a stalemate shortly and the war was abandoned following the political turmoil that rocked the Byzantine Empire (such as the Great Schism {which deserves its own entry for how weird that was}, the disaster at Manzikert, the Doukas betrayal, the Norman invasion of the Balkans, the Pecheng invasion of Bulgaria, and the ascent of Alexios Kommenos to the throne.

 

Harald himself went back home to Norway where he was made King of Norway, however always an ambitious man, he claimed the throne of England following the death of Edward the Confessor with no clear heir (as his closest male relative Eadgar the Aetheling {he also has a storied life history} was too young to be seriously considered) and a Norman lord named William 'the Bastard' of Normandy was already preparing to claim the throne.

 

Harald struck first and landed in York in the summer of 1066.  However, for a variety of reasons (such as hoping to win over the Northumbrians to his cause, as well as plain old underestimating his enemy) he was sluggish in following up his early victory.  This allowed Harold Godwinson (brother in law of Edward) to press his advantage and ambushed Harald's army on September 15, 1066. 

 

The battle was nothing short of a disaster for the Norwegians.  They tried to regroup across a river in order to form a last stand, but Harold's forces were pursuing them across the only bridge.  Then a single man stepped forward.  Not an ordinary soldier, this was man was (allegedly the Last) a Berserker of the old viking tradition.  This man single handedly held the bridge against the entirety of the Anglo-Saxon army killing all those who dared to approach him.  He carried on this way for some time killing scores of those brave or foolish enough to face him.  He fell only after one saxon soldier swam past him and stabbed in the leg crippling the last Berserker and allowing the Saxon army to cross and annihilate the Norwegian army and bringing an end to the Viking Age.

 

Harold Godwinson would be killed in battle later that year fighting the Normans led by William 'the Conqueror' of Normandy.  With his death and so many of the other powerful local lords, Anglo-Saxon England was ended and William was crowned King of England on Christmas Day 1066.  And then the French and English never had another dispute ever.

[o Ventus]

Einstein's first marriage was laid out in a long, bizarre contract, a la 50 Shades. Also, after his first marriage failed, Einstein married his cousin. On top of both of these things, Einstein was a notorious manw***e. He really got around, if you know what I mean.

[Aimi]

Casey Hudson has said that the Mass Effect title was the result of some off-the-cuff random brainstorming by Doctor Z; the ME team 'went with it' because they didn't like any of the other titles they could come up with. (Star Citadel, anyone?)

The thing is, "mass effect" as a term has actually been around for quite a while in the military, specifically in artillery tactics.

In the 1860s, modern armies tended to employ black-powder weapons with relatively short range that threw balls instead of shells. Shell technology was still extremely unreliable. Guns were at their best when they could engage infantry at relatively short range; since infantry tactics revolved around close-order assault (marching elbow-to-elbow and shoulder-to-shoulder to maintain formation and mass volley fire effectively at distances of a few hundred meters), an artillery battery could limber up at close range and tear gaping holes in advancing enemy regiments by employing canister shot over open sights, spraying hundreds of tiny balls - buckshot on steroids.

This changed dramatically over the course of the next few decades. Infantry weapons became longer-range, easier to reload, and more accurate, meaning that a regiment could deliver a great deal of firepower while remaining prone and having soldiers take cover at maximum range. Artillery batteries that tried to deal with infantry at canister range could be utterly annihilated by units employing the breech-loading rifles of the day - and in 1870, during the Franco-German War, that happened quite frequently to the Germans in the initial stages of the fighting. In order to safely and effectively deal with enemy units, artillery had to fight them at long range.

More technological advances of the era, however, enabled them to do that. Black powder was superseded by more effective propellants, increasing range. Earlier artillery was usually divided into several types; of these, the 'gun' was a relatively flat-firing direct-support weapon, the 'mortar' was a short-range weapon firing a high-angle heavy projectile designed for sieges, and the 'howitzer' was an intermediate stage between the two. Improved design, however, resulted in the proliferation of the 'gun-howitzer' type, which could fire in both indirect and direct support over fairly long ranges. Arms manufacturers also began experimenting with adding recoil-compensation mechanisms to the gun carriages so that the cannon would not move when firing, permitting the crew to substantially improve accuracy and reloading time. In addition, there were several improvements to shell components - fuses, casting, the explosive employed - that made them much more useful than the old solid shot.

By the 1880s, enough of these improvements had been incorporated into the new generation of cannon that European specialists believed that the nature of artillery had been fundamentally changed forever - and they were right. They were part and parcel of a series of technological innovations that some scholars now call a 'firepower revolution in military affairs', a massive increase in weapons' killing power that swept away the old methods of war. As recently as 1870, battles were fought on small parcels of territory between individual armies where tens of thousands of human beings crammed into tiny spots fought and bled and died by the hundred in closed formations like they were on parade, protected only by the ubiquitous black powder discharges that obscured the entire battlefield. Now the battlefield was 'empty'; soldiers took cover in trenches and foxholes, spread out in small packets to avoid being killed en masse by the deadly fire of machine guns and artillery, hounded by invisible enemies in their own defenses firing long range from rifles that used smokeless powder. Battle became a personal experience for individual soldiers in a way that it never had when musketmen were packed like sardines into serried ranks: now it was just your squad and the great unknown. Small-unit leadership became important in an entirely new way now that generals could no longer see the whole battlefield from a single vantage point. War had changed forever.

The artillery was the queen of the new empty battlefield. No assault against a prepared enemy could succeed without artillery support and preparation. In order to break an enemy and cover for the attack, artillery and infantry had to work as a concerted team - artillery suppressing enemy defenses to allow infantry to move up and engage at close range, which would flush out the defenders so that the artillery could catch them on open ground and kill them. Fire and movement in tandem were the only way to succeed.

But artillery didn't just have to team up with infantry - it had to fight enemy artillery as well. What had once been referred to romantically as 'the artillery duel' now became even more crucial, because it would do no good to suppress defending infantry if your own infantry were still vulnerable to defending artillery. Defending against enemy artillery created another set of difficulties. It was no longer practical, for example, to mass a gun battery close together, out in the open, like the gun lines of the wars of the 1860s. Batteries had to be more spread out, and ideally placed under cover, in order to mitigate enemy counterbattery fire - but that created command-and-control problems in turn. Artillery had to accomplish more missions, and more essential missions, than it had in the past, and this created a sort of debate over priorities and methods of engagement.

French theorists, the most influential of whom was Colonel Hippolyte Langlois, focused on the creation of task-oriented groups. Langlois' artillery were divided into infantry support and counterbattery units, which were then subdivided further (infantry support, for instance, could be 'preparation' or 'accompanying' batteries). He banked on the increased firepower of the new field guns to allow the artillery to accomplish more with less. Langlois' precepts emphasized infantry-artillery cooperation at the cost of rigidity. More worrisome, however, he placed a great deal of faith in the ability of minimal forces to effectively suppress enemy units. Instead of destroying enemy forces, Langlois sought to neutralize them, because he believed that was more practical and would allow the artillery to attempt all of its many missions simultaneously. As commandant of the Superior Military Academy at the turn of the twentieth century and a persuasive author in his own right, Langlois managed to effectively disseminate many of his precepts into the French army's formal doctrine.

German soldiers had different ideas, especially after seeing the new artillery in action during the Manchurian War of 1904-05. General Heinrich von Rohne, in his Die Entwicklung der modernen Feldartillerie (The Development of Modern Field Artillery, sometimes translated as Progress, which appeared in the 1904 edition of the General Staff's Quarterly Journal of Troop Leadership and Army News), analyzed the new evidence and discussed French doctrine in considerable detail, since he believed the French military had the most experience with the newest quick-firing models. Rohne pointed out that although the French task-group doctrine was very effective at command and control and at hunting down enemy artillery, its emphasis on neutralization rather than destruction was potentially a very serious defect. Due to the new protections artillery pieces had - dispersion, metal shields, sometimes concrete bunkers - merely trying to suppress a gun often failed to do even that. The French also did not make much use of converging fires; each of their pieces would attack individual positions, instead of delivering several rounds into a small space to maximize killing power. They dispersed their guns (a sound tactic) while also dispersing their fires (a less-sound tactic).

Rohne believed that German practice was superior. While German artillerymen also dispersed the guns in a battery, they still tried to converge their fires on specific targets. He argued that the new defensive technologies practically necessitated such a course. More importantly, he pointed to the quick-firing technology (gun carriages, recoil mechanisms, improved breech reloading) as evidence that fires could be concentrated on several different things in sequence rapidly. The artilleryman would get a synergistic outcome by concentrating many rounds on the same target - and a higher likelihood of killing rather than simply suppressing the enemy. Rohne referred to this synergistic effect obliquely as "[such a] weapon effect" (Waffenwirkung) without giving it a specific name, as had a few other artillery theorists in recent years (e.g. General Albrecht von Boguslawski, in discussing the Boer War). English translators in America and Britain, however, gave it the moniker "mass effect".

So, for artillerymen a hundred year ago, the mass effect was the synergistic concentration of fires from multiple guns or batteries on the same target. It created the effect of massing guns, without actually physically massing them (because then they would be vulnerable to enemy fire).

In altered form, the mass effect is still very much a part of modern artillery tactics. American artillery doctrine of the modern day calls for emphasizing target destruction in a similar way to German doctrine a hundred years ago. During the Second World War, the US Army even evolved the concept into a "time-on-target (TOT) barrage", which massed fire effects not only in space, but also in time. Since the guns in a battery are spread out, the shells they fired take different times to reach the same target when massing their fires. Often, the initial shell would burst in an area, but then other shells would arrive later, allowing soldiers to take cover and negating much of the effect of the concentration. The Americans improved the practice of calculating each shell's time in flight, which then allowed them to stagger fires from various guns. Even though the guns fired at different times, the shells impacted at the same time, delivering maximum firepower when the enemy was least prepared for it. In one of the more celebrated war anecdotes, British artillerymen could synchronize their watches by using BBC broadcasts and deliver TOT barrages even without the benefit of field telephones or radios (particularly useful in the North African desert).

TOT was then developed even further once artillery pieces became even faster-firing with greater precision. In the 1960s, the concept of MRSI (multiple rounds, simultaneous impact) came up, whereby a single gun could place multiple rounds on the same target at the same time by firing each round with slightly different muzzle elevation depending on range and atmospheric conditions. In other words, single guns could develop a fire effect on target that was previously reserved for entire batteries.

The mass effect of the real world developed the effect of massed artillery despite physically dispersing the artillery; it created mass where there was none. The mass effect of the games is kind of the opposite: it creates the effect of reducing the mass of an object to near zero. The two ideas are like funhouse mirrors of each other.

I have to wonder, though, what in-setting soldiers and historians thought about the new scientific concept's name.

[mybudgee]

Wow. You guys' knowledge is very impressive

[Steelcan]

the career of Eumenes of Cardia deserves its own mention

[Johnnie Walker]

Emperor Justin II was completely mad but kinda hilarious.
He once demanded that his thrown have wheels on it because he wanted to know what it was like to be in a wheelchair. Then he'd proceed to roll around in it and biting people because they tasted good. And the ones he thought tasted the best, he'd eat them for breakfast or supper but not lunch. Maybe he had something against luncheon.

Another favorite of mine was Emperor Callgula (also determined to be insane as well), he's probably well known for declaring war on Brosiden thus ordering his 3 million men to start stabbing the ocean. He also ordered them to gather seashells and when they'd bring them back to him, he'd devour them. One day he got really upset that they ran out of prisoners to watch the lions consume, thus he had spectators thrown into the ring just for his pure amusement.

Also this guy.

[Decepticon Leader Sully]

Project_Habakkuk

Was a ww2 project to make a unsink able boat out of ice.

Project Habakkuk or Habbakuk (spelling varies; see below) was a plan by the British during the Second World War to construct an aircraft carrier out of pykrete (a mixture of wood pulp and ice) for use against German U-boats in the mid-Atlantic, which were beyond the flight range of land-based planes at that time. The idea came from Geoffrey Pyke, who worked for Combined Operations Headquarters.

 

History[edit] Initial concept[edit]

Geoffrey Pyke was an old friend of J.D. Bernal and had been recommended to Lord Mountbatten, Chief of Combined Operations, by the Cabinet minister Leopold Amery. Pyke worked at Combined Operations Headquarters (COHQ) alongside Bernal and was regarded as a genius by Mountbatten.^[1]

Pyke conceived the idea of Habbakuk while he was in the United States organising the production of M29 Weasels for Project Plough, a scheme to assemble an elite unit for winter operations in Norway, Romania and the Italian Alps.^[1] He had been considering the problem of how to protect seaborne landings and Atlantic convoys out of reach of aircraft cover. The problem was that steel and aluminium were in short supply, and were required for other purposes. Pyke realized that the answer was ice, which could be manufactured for only 1 per cent of the energy needed to make an equivalent mass of steel. He proposed that an iceberg, natural or artificial, be levelled to provide a runway and hollowed out to shelter aircraft.

From New York Pyke sent the proposal via diplomatic bag to COHQ, with a label forbidding anyone apart from Mountbatten from opening the package. Mountbatten in turn passed Pyke's proposal on to Churchill, who was enthusiastic about it.^[2]

Pyke was not the first to suggest a floating mid-ocean stopping point for aircraft, nor even the first to suggest that such a floating island could be made of ice. A German scientist, Dr Gerke von Waldenburg, had proposed the idea and carried out some preliminary experiments on Lake Zurich in 1930.^[3] The idea was a recurring one: in 1940 an idea for an ice island was circulated around the Admiralty, but was treated as a joke by officers, including Nevil Shute, who circulated a memorandum that gathered ever more caustic comments. The document had to be retrieved just before it reached the First Sea Lord's inbox.^[4]

Code name and spelling[edit]

The project's code name seems to have been consistently (mis)spelled Habbakuk in official documents at the time. This may in fact have been Pyke's own error, as at least one early document apparently written by him (though unsigned) spells it that way. (However, post-war publications by people concerned with the project, such as Perutz and Goodeve, all restore the proper spelling, with one "b" and three "k"s.) The name is a reference to the project's ambitious goal: "... be utterly amazed, for I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." (Habakkuk 1:5, NIV)

David Lampe, in his book, Pyke, the Unknown Genius, states that the name was derived from Voltaire's Candide and was misspelled by his Canadian secretary. However, the word does not actually appear in that text,^[5] so this is probably inaccurate.

Pykrete[edit]

 

A block of pykrete

In early 1942 Pyke and Bernal called in Max Perutz to determine whether an icefloe large enough to withstand Atlantic conditions could be built up fast enough. Perutz pointed out that natural icebergs have too small a surface above water for an airstrip, and are prone to suddenly rolling over. The project would have been abandoned if it had not been for the invention of pykrete, a mixture of water and woodpulp that when frozen was stronger than plain ice, was slower-melting and would not sink. It has been suggested that Pyke was inspired by Inuit sleds reinforced with moss.^[1] This is probably apocryphal, as the material was originally described in a paper by Mark and Hohenstein in Brooklyn.^[2]

Pykrete could be machined like wood and cast into shapes like metal, and when immersed in water formed an insulating shell of wet wood pulp on its surface that protected its interior from further melting. However, Perutz found a problem: ice flows slowly, in what is known as plastic flow, and his tests showed that a pykrete ship would slowly sag unless it was cooled to −16 °C (3 °F). To accomplish this the ship's surface would have to be protected by insulation, and it would need a refrigeration plant and a complicated system of ducts.^[2]

Perutz proceeded to conduct experiments on the viability of pykrete and its optimum composition in a secret location underneath Smithfield Meat Market in the City of London.^[6][7] The research took place in a refrigerated meat locker behind a protective screen of frozen animal carcasses.^[8]

Scale model[edit]

The decision was made to build a large-scale model at Jasper National Park in Canada to examine insulation and refrigeration techniques, and to see how pykrete would stand up to artillery and explosives. Large ice blocks were constructed at Lake Louise, Alberta, and a small prototype was constructed at Patricia Lake, Alberta, measuring only 60 by 30 feet (18 metres by 9 metres), weighing 1,000 tons and kept frozen by a one-horsepower motor.^[8] The work was done byconscientious objectors who did alternative service of various kinds instead of military service. They were never told what they were building.^{[citation needed]} Bernal informed COHQ that the Canadians were building a 1,000-ton model, and that it was expected to take eight men fourteen days to build it. The Chief of Combined Operations (CCO) responded that Churchill had invited the Chiefs of Staff Committee to arrange for an order to be placed for one complete ship at once, with the highest priority, and that further ships were to be ordered immediately if it appeared that the scheme was certain of success.

The Canadians were confident about constructing a vessel for 1944. The necessary materials were available to them in the form of 300,000 tons of wood pulp, 25,000 tons of fibreboard insulation, 35,000 tons of timber and 10,000 tons of steel. The cost was estimated at £700,000.^[9]

Meanwhile Perutz had determined via his experiments at Smithfield Market that the optimum structural properties were given by a mixture of 14 per cent wood pulp and 86 per cent water. He wrote to Pyke in early April 1943 and pointed out that if certain tests were not completed in May, there would be no chance of delivering a completed ship in 1944.

By May the problem of plastic flow had become serious and it was obvious that more steel reinforcement would be needed, as well as a more effective insulating skin around the vessel's hull. This caused the cost estimate to increase to £2.5 million. In addition, the Canadians had decided that it was impractical to attempt the project "this coming season". Bernal and Pyke were forced to conclude that no Habbakuk vessel would be ready in 1944.^[9]

Pyke was excluded from the planning for Habbakuk in an effort to secure American participation, a decision that Bernal supported. Pyke's earlier disagreements with American personnel on Project Plough, which had caused his removal from that project, were the main factor in this decision.^[10]

Naval architects and engineers continued to work on Habbakuk with Bernal and Perutz during the summer of 1943. The requirements for the vessel became more demanding: it had to have a range of 7,000 miles (11,000 km) and be able to withstand the largest waves recorded, and the Admiralty wanted it to be torpedo-proof, which meant that the hull had to be at least 40 ft (12 m) thick. The Fleet Air Arm decided that heavy bombers should be able to take off from it, which meant that the deck had to be 2,000 ft (610 m) long. Steering also raised problems; it was initially projected that the ship would be steered by varying the speed of the motors on either side, but the Royal Navy decided that a rudder was essential. However, the problem of mounting and controlling a rudder over 100 ft (30 m) high was never solved.^[9]

Variants[edit]

Naval architects produced three alternative versions of Pyke's original concept, which were discussed at a meeting with the Chiefs of Staff in August 1943:

• Habbakuk I (soon discarded) would have been made of wood.
• Habbakuk II was closest to the COHQ model and would have been a very large, slow, self-propelled vessel made of pykrete with steel reinforcement. The size would have been a length of 1200 meters and a width of 180 meters^[11]
• Habbakuk III was a smaller, faster version of Habbakuk II.

Air Chief Marshal Portal asked about potential bomb damage to Habbakuk III, and Bernal suggested that a certain amount of deck covering might be ripped off, but could be repaired by some kind of flexible matting. It would be more difficult to deal with bomb holes in the centre portion, though the roof over the aircraft hangars would be made proof against 1,000 kg bombs. Bernal considered that no one could say whether the larger Habbakuk II was a practical proposition until a large-scale model could be completed and tested in Canada in the spring of 1944. He had no doubts about the suitability of pykrete as a material, but said that constructional and navigational difficulties remained to be overcome.^[9]

The final design of Habbakuk II gave the bergship (as it was called) a displacement of 2.2 million tons. Steam turbogenerators were to supply 33,000 hp (25,000 kW) for 26 electric motors mounted in separate external nacelles (normal, internal ship engines would have generated too much heat for an ice craft). Its armament would have included 40 dual-barrelled 4.5" DP (dual-purpose) turrets and numerous light anti-aircraft guns, and it would have housed an airstrip and up to 150 twin-engined bombers or fighters.^[2]

Shooting incident[edit]

According to some accounts, at the Quebec Conference in 1943 Lord Mountbatten brought a block of pykrete along to demonstrate its potential to the admirals and generals who accompanied Winston Churchill and Franklin D. Roosevelt. Mountbatten entered the project meeting with two blocks and placed them on the ground. One was a normal ice block and the other was pykrete. He then drew his service pistol and shot at the first block. It shattered and splintered. Next he fired at thepykrete to give an idea of the resistance of that kind of ice to projectiles. The bullet ricocheted off the block, grazing the trouser leg of Admiral Ernest King, and ended up in the wall.

Sir Alan Brooke's diaries^[12] support this account, telling how Mountbatten brought two blocks, one of ice and one of pykrete. After first shooting at the ice, with a warning to beware of splinters, Mountbatten said "I shall fire at the block on the right to show you the difference". Brooke reported that "the bullet rebounded out of the block and buzzed round our legs like an angry bee".

Max Perutz gave an account of a similar incident in his book I Wish I Made You Angry Earlier. A demonstration of pykrete was given at Combined Operations Headquarters (COHQ) by a naval officer, Lieutenant Commander Douglas Grant, who was provided by Perutz with rods of ice and pykrete packed with dry ice in thermos flasks and large blocks of ice and pykrete. Grant demonstrated the comparative strength of ice and pykrete by firing bullets into both blocks: the ice shattered, but the bullet rebounded from the pykrete and hit the Chief of the Imperial Staff (Sir Alan Brooke) in the shoulder. Brooke was unhurt.^[13]

End of project[edit]

Later in 1943 Habbakuk began to lose priority. Mountbatten listed several reasons:^{[citation needed]}

• Demand for steel for other purposes was too great.
• Permission had been received from Portugal to use airfields in the Azores, which facilitated the hunting of U-boats in the Atlantic
• The introduction of long-range fuel tanks allowed British-based aircraft extra patrol time over the Atlantic
• The numbers of escort carriers were being increased.

In addition, Mountbatten himself withdrew from the project.

The final meeting of the Habbakuk [sic] board took place in December 1943. It was officially concluded that "The large Habbakuk II made of pykrete has been found to be impractical because of the enormous production resources required and technical difficulties involved."

The use of ice had actually been falling out of favour before that, and other ideas for "floating islands" had been considered, such as welding Liberty Ships or landing craft together (Project TENTACLE).^[14] It took three hot summers to completely melt the prototype constructed in Canada.

Perutz wrote that he stayed in Washington D.C. while U.S. Navy engineers evaluated the viability of Habbakuk. He concluded: "The U.S. Navy finally decided that Habakkuk was a false prophet. One reason was [that] the enormous amount of steel needed for the refrigeration plant that was to freeze the pykrete was greater than that needed to build the entire carrier of steel, but the crucial argument was that the rapidly increasing range of land-based aircraft rendered floating islands unnecessary."^[15]

Criticism[edit]

The Habakkuk design received criticism, notably from Sir Charles Goodeve, Assistant Controller of Research and Development for the Admiralty during the Second World War.^[16] In an article published after the war Goodeve pointed out the large amount of wood pulp that would be required, enough to affect paper production significantly. He also claimed that each ship would require 40,000 tons of cork insulation, thousands of miles of steel tubing for brine circulation and four power stations, but that for all those resources (some of which could be used to manufacture conventional ships of more effective fighting power) Habakkuk would be capable of travelling at only six knots of speed. His article also contained extensive derisive comments about the properties of ice as used for ship construction.

Recent recreations[edit]

In the 15 April 2009 episode of the U.S. TV show Mythbusters Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage built a small boat out of a modified version of pykrete, using newspaper instead of wood pulp. They successfully piloted the boat in Alaskan waters at a speed of 25 miles per hour (40 km/h) and inferred that it is possible to build a boat out of pykrete. They also concluded that pykrete lived up to its purported properties of being bullet-proof, stronger than ice and taking longer to melt than ice. However, they expressed doubt that an aircraft carrier made of pykrete could have survived for long. The conclusion was "Plausible, but ludicrous."^[17]

In September 2010 the BBC programme Bang Goes The Theory also attempted to recreate a pykrete boat. A hull using 5,000 kg of hemp fibre pykrete was frozen in a coldstore, then launched in Portsmouth Harbour for a planned trip across the Solent to Cowes. The hull immediately started to leak because of the holes that had been cut in its rear to mount an outboard motor.^[18][19][20]

[Fiddles dee dee]

I'm glad to see this thread still lives. 

 

Shout out to Australia for losing Prime Minister Harold Holt on a beach with practically no surf or currents then naming a swimming pool after him.

[Dermain]

The battle was nothing short of a disaster for the Norwegians.  They tried to regroup across a river in order to form a last stand, but Harold's forces were pursuing them across the only bridge.  Then a single man stepped forward.  Not an ordinary soldier, this was man was (allegedly the Last) a Berserker of the old viking tradition.  This man single handedly held the bridge against the entirety of the Anglo-Saxon army killing all those who dared to approach him.  He carried on this way for some time killing scores of those brave or foolish enough to face him.  He fell only after one saxon soldier swam past him and stabbed in the leg crippling the last Berserker and allowing the Saxon army to cross and annihilate the Norwegian army and bringing an end to the Viking Age.

 

Harold Godwinson would be killed in battle later that year fighting the Normans led by William 'the Conqueror' of Normandy.  With his death and so many of the other powerful local lords, Anglo-Saxon England was ended and William was crowned King of England on Christmas Day 1066.  And then the French and English never had another dispute ever.

 

I seem to recall that the Norwegians got involved because Harold Godwinson's brother (who was the leader of Northumbria) promised to place Harold Sigurdsson on the throne. At the time of the battle of Stamford Brdige the Norwegian forces weren't wearing any armor during that battle because they were not expecting an attack. In fact, the Norwegian forces didn't even know the Anglo-Saxon army was nearby until they were about to be charged, which is a really bad scouting job by the Norwegians and their Northumbrian allies.

 

It is also noteworthy that Harold "Hardrade" Sigurdsson died from an arrow piercing his neck, and not in close combat. After that fight the Anglo-Saxons fought another battle against reinforcements led by one of Harold Hardrade's sons, who was also killed in the fighting.

 

The Anglo-Saxons then force marched from York to southern England (the name escapes me) to face William the Bastard's armies. Only about two weeks past between the two Harold's deaths.

 

I'm not as knowledgeable on English/French relations, but I'm pretty sure there wasn't any major disputes until some member of the Plantagent family died, which eventually lead to the Hundred Years war.

[Steelcan]

I seem to recall that the Norwegians got involved because Harold Godwinson's brother (who was the leader of Northumbria) promised to place Harold Sigurdsson on the throne. At the time of the battle of Stamford Brdige the Norwegian forces weren't wearing any armor during that battle because they were not expecting an attack. In fact, the Norwegian forces didn't even know the Anglo-Saxon army was nearby until they were about to be charged, which is a really bad scouting job by the Norwegians and their Northumbrian allies.

 

It is also noteworthy that Harold "Hardrade" Sigurdsson died from an arrow piercing his neck, and not in close combat. After that fight the Anglo-Saxons fought another battle against reinforcements led by one of Harold Hardrade's sons, who was also killed in the fighting.

 

The Anglo-Saxons then force marched from York to southern England (the name escapes me) to face William the Bastard's armies. Only about two weeks past between the two Harold's deaths.

 

I'm not as knowledgeable on English/French relations, but I'm pretty sure there wasn't any major disputes until some member of the Plantagent family died, which eventually lead to the Hundred Years war.

Tostig Godwinson was incredibly unpopular in Northumbria and exiled from England by Edward the Confessor so its unlikely he could do anything for Harald in the long run.  Whether or not Tostig convinced Harald to invade is a matter of debate, it was a bit odd given that Norway had just been fighting Denmark for a while.

 

Hastings was 19 days after Stamford Bridge iirc

 

The disputes started with the death of William's son Robert who was childless and a distant male relative who'd never seen England was made King.  The Plantagenets disputed the succession and rebelled.

[Steelcan]

I'll go ahead and do Eumenes of Cardia then.

 

Hailing from the Greek colony of Cardia in Thrace, Eumenes was attached to the Macedonian court during the reign of Philip II of Macedon, father to Alexander III (the Great).  His position was somewhat unclear, but he was apparently some sort of secretary, whether this mean he was actually the one taking notes during meetings or managing a schedule is doubtful, its more likely he was in charge of the scribes and such.

 

Following the assassination of Philip by Pausanius, Eumenes was attached to the Expeditionary force that Alexander led into the Persian Empire.  He isn't heard from again really until the campaigns in India, well after the Persians were conquered.  He marks his reappearance by being in charge of a small cavalry detachment responsible for obtaining the surrenders of local towns and villages.

 

He explodes onto the scene following the death of the Alexander the Great and the clusterf*ck that resulted in the fallout.

 

Following the death of Alexander there was a stalemate over what to do with the Succession, the elite of the army (and thus Macedonian society) wanted essentially a divvying up of the empire, what form that would take is a matter of contention.  According to Arrian (and thus according to Ptolemy himself) Ptolemy wanted a council to rule over the Empire until Alexander's unborn child (if he was male) came of age.  Perdiccas (Alexander's second in command following the death of Hephaestion) instead wanted to be the sole regent.

 

The rank and file army had other plans.  They wanted Alexander's half brother Arrhidaeus (later renamed Philip III) made king.  The only problem was that he suffered from some sort of handicap.  Most likely some sort of slight mental retardation, if it was too sever he wouldn't have been considered at all.  He could stand and look pretty with a spear and armor, carry out some religious rites, and he could sign his name but that's about it.  He was however and Argead and thus a member of the royal family and received the support of the troops.

 

This stand-off climaxed in the seizure of Babylon by the infantry, led by a man named Meleander.  They seized the body of Alexander (presumably as yet not mummified) and demanded Arrhidaeus be crowned.  The cavalry, led by Perdiccas and Ptolemy retreated from the city and laid siege. 

 

Eumenes was appointed negotiator between the two factions as he was not a Macedonian and neither a part of the cavalry or the infantry.   The agreed upon compromise was the Philip Arrhidaeus and the future Alexander IV would be co-kings with a regency led by Perdiccas until Alexander IV came of age. (he never lived to do so).

 

Following this, the remaining cavalry officers (excluding Meleander who was executed for treason and his supporters trampled by elephants) divided up the empire.  Ptolemy recieved Egypt, Perdiccas ruled over as regent, Seleucus received Babylon, and so on.  Eumenes was given command over what is today central Turkey.  At the time it was a barely subdued backwater.  Alexander had largely bypassed it on his way into Persia and it was up to Eumenes to consolidate the area.  Perdiccas ordered two other generals to aid him, Antigonus "Cyclops" and Lysimachus of Thrace, neither of them lifted a finger to do so.

 

Eumenes had another problem as well.  Absent from Babylon at the time of Alexander's death was the former bodyguard (but much more like a Kingsguard from GoT) Craterus.  Craterus was a popular general with the troops and at the time of Alexander's death was bringing approximately 10k veterans back to Macedonia from Asia.  He stopped in Cilicia (south eastern Turkey) likely for health reasons, but now found himself excluded from the balance of power, with a loyal and experienced army, and a hankering for power.

 

Carterus formed an alliance with Ptolemy, Antigonus, and Antipater (regent of Alexander while he was on campaign), who had earned the wrath of Perdiccas by stealing the body of Alexander and killing Perdiccas's spy in Egypt. 

 

Perdiccas's plan was for Eumenes to deal with Craterus, and Ptolemy to be isolated and dealt with by Perdiccas himself.  The plan started off well enough.  Craterus and his general Neoptolemus joined battle with Eumenes and were soundly defeated, with both Crateus and Neoptolemus dying in the fighting.  To convince his troops to fight the ever popular Craterus, Eumenes convinced his troops that Neoptolemus was in fact the lead general and Craterus a prisoner.  The surviving soldiers went over to Eumenes's service.

 

However things weren't going well for Perdiccas.  His troops had marched into Egypt, through the desert and were not in a good way.  Ptolemy had been harassing and bribing to whittle down Perdiccas's numbers, and after a disastrous attempt to cross the Nile, Perdiccas was killed by his own officers who then defected to Ptolemy or returned to Babylon.

 

Ptolemy and his surviving allies then declared Eumenes a traitor and he was forced to flee back into the mountains of Anatolia.  Antigonus was given the task of rooting him out of his stronghold but never achieved much success.  Eumenes, despite never having held significant military positions, was a natural at generalship.  He dismissed most of his troops as he couldn't afford to pay them, and fortified his stronghold at Nora.  However, it was so cramped that his troops had to exercise in a 20ft track and the horses had to be suspended to have room to run (probably apocryphal but entertaining nonetheless) while Antigonus besieged him.

 

Eumenes was able to escape the siege after Antipater, at the age of 80odd finally died, throwing the balance of power into disarray, his successor as regent, Polyperchon offered Eumenes an offer, become Royal General of Asia, and receive royal funds, legitimate power, and an alliance with the Macedonian elite.

 

Seizing the chance, Eumenes accepted the offer, raised his old army back and raced East to join other supporters in the far eastern parts of the Empire. 

 

However, once again, fate was not on his side.  Polyperchon was cut off from Eumenes following the naval battle near Byzantium where Cassander (Antipater's son and resentful that he wasn't made regent) smashed the royal fleet.  Eumenes was now surrounded and cut off from his most powerful ally.  Antigonus set off in pursuit of him through Persia and Mesopotamia.  The other successors in the way were undecided.  Seleucus didn't impede Eumenes's progress through Babylon, but sent token forces to Antigonus, Peithon in Bactria did much the same but in reverse.  Antigonus had more men, but Eumenes had more experienced troops and a better tactical mind.

 

In the end the summer heat ended the dead lock.  Antigonus was forced to make for the relative cool of the Zagros mountains.  Eumenes wanted to march west and attack Antigonus's holdings in Syria, but his nominal ally Peithon refused to march with him that far from his own land, so Eumenes was forced to pursue Antigonus. 

 

Here I need to talk about a central problem Eumenes faced throughout his career.  Eumenes was a Greek and not a Macedonian.  He never was able to carry the good the will even of the veterans he led to victory because of this.  This led to some rather unusual circumstances to try and win them over.  The most notable incident was when he convened his councils, in the tent of Alexander, in the presence of Alexander's throne and symbols of power such as his robe. This was done to try and convey a sense of continuity of rule and give Eumenes legitimacy to his Macedonian troops.  It never really worked.

 

Antigonus and Eumenes met in a series of battles in the Zagros Mountians (the notion that the deciding battle was fought at the same spot as the battle of Manzikert is likely a fabrication). The first two were mostly indecisive, with Eumenes as the nominal victor as he lost fewer men and was able to keep his pursuit of Antigonus up.  The third and final battle, meant to be the decisive one, was a mess.

 

One of Eumenes's captains, Peucastes, defected mid battle and led his cavalry into Eumenes's flank.  However, he was able to still carry the day after Antigonus's cavalry were run off from the immediate field.  Eumenes was regrouping his army to march back when he was captured by his own men, the veteran Argypaspids (silver shields) and turned over to Antigonus and executed.

 

So what happened?  After being run off from the battle, Antigonus's cavalry attacked the camp Eumenes's had set up and in which was not only the plunder the army had accumulated, some going even back to Alexander's campaigns, but also the women and children who were attached to it.  Fearing for their families as well as their plunder, the veterans reached an accord with Antigonus and turned over Eumenes in return for their loot and families.

[Chewin]

Glad to see this thread resurface again. Gonna add my 2 cents once I get the chance to write something more 'substantial'.

[Aimi]

There are some good recent works on Eumenes' career.

Bosworth's The Legacy of Alexander devotes its largest single section to the Iranian campaign. (I dunno where that myth about Manzikert came from; I'm not a classicist, but I'd certainly never heard it before. Manzikert is hundreds of miles away from Gabiene and Paraitakene, the two places where Eumenes and Antigonos clashed; it's not even on the same side of the mountains.)

Billows' Antigonus the One-Eyed also deals with Eumenes in considerable detail, as the antagonist of the middle part of Antigonos' career.

The best single work on the subject, by dint of its narrow focus, is probably Anson's Eumenes of Cardia, which came out about a decade ago. While the book is in large part biographical, Anson came up with extended discussions of the nature of Greek/Makedonian culture, the role of Hieronymos' account in shaping popular views of Eumenes' career, and the ultimate fate of the argyraspides.

Probably the most interesting part of the whole episode is not what Eumenes actually did in Asia. The Anatolian and Iranian campaigns were certainly dramatic and intricate, and they had Romantic stakes. But so did most of the other parts of the wars of the Successors. Eumenes' hodgepodge alliance dueling with Antigonos' legions on the edge of the great Iranian salt desert made for good copy, but so would Seleukos' daring return to Babylon and his subsequent stand alone against all the might of Antigonos and Demetrios, and the battles of Polemaios in Greece and western Asia Minor, and Demetrios' long twilight struggle after his failure at Ipsos, and the Shakespearean drama that was the court of Lysimachos right before the apocalyptic Battle of Koroupedion. All of those things would be worthy of the sort of monograph that Anson gave Eumenes, but we barely know anything about most of them.

Once upon a time, great works of literature were written about the Successor wars, many of which were composed by men who fought in them - like Hieronymos of Kardia and the (probably unfairly) oft-maligned Douris of Samos. Even Ptolemaios I is supposed to have written a personal account. All of them are lost. We only have small fragments of Hieronymos' history, preserved in the works of later authors, but those fragments are the best and most iconic stories of the Successor wars: the Iranian campaign, the Battle of Gaza, the struggle between Antigonid forces and the Nabataians of the desert. It's romantic to think about the sorts of stories we might have if the contemporary histories were better preserved.

On the other hand, there's an old rule of thumb in classical history: if it's lost, there's probably a good reason for it. Namely, that people didn't feel like it was worth preserving. Maybe the rest of Hieronymos' history was crap.

[Steelcan]

I've actually read Bosworth and Anson's books since my research paper this semester is comparing the leadership styles of Ptolemy and Eumenes.

The Manzikert myth I saw pop up in a Byzantine history of the area. They were going to great lengths to compare the two, like Peucastes filling the same role as the Ducas, Eumenes as Romanus Diogenes







Also if anyone is confused as to why Aimi and I use different spellings, I'm using the latinized/anglicized versions, she is using the more accurate Greek spellings. I use the ones I do because they are more familiar to most people.

[Han Shot First]

We tend to think of graffiti as a modern problem in cities, but it has probably existed in some form for as long humans have lived in cities. Archaeologists excavating the ruins of the ancient Roman cities of Pompeii and Herculaneum have found thousands of pieces scratched or painted on the 2,000 year old walls.

 

Boasts, complaints, observations, and advice about sex and relationships in Pompeii and Herculaneum...

 

 

 

(Near a gladiator barracks) "Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion was here.  The women did not know of his presence.  Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion!"

 

(Bar of Astylus and Pardalus) "Lovers are like bees in that they live a honeyed life."

 

(Next to the front door of a bar) "I screwed the barmaid."

 

(On a wall bordering a city street) "Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog."

 

(House of Caecilius Iucundus) "Whoever loves, let him flourish. Let him perish who knows not love. Let him perish twice over whoever forbids love."

 

(Near the Vesuvian Gate) "Marcus loves Spendusa"

 

(House and Office of Volusius Luvencus) "Secundus says hello to his Prima, wherever she is. I ask, my mistress, that you love me."

 

(Gladiator Barracks) "Celadus the Thracian makes the girls moan!"

 

(Atrium of the House of Pinarius) "If anyone doesn't believe in Venus, they should see my girlfriend."

 

(House of Caprasius Primus) "I don't want to sell my husband, not for all the gold in the world."

 

(Wall of a brothel) "I fvcked a lot of girls here."

 

(Wall of a brothel) "Sollemnes, you screw well!"

 

(Wall of a brothel) "Gaius Valerius Venustus, soldier of the 1st praetorian cohort, in the century of Rufus, screwer of women."

 

(In the Basilica) "The one who buggers a fire, burns his penis."

 

(In the Basilica) "Let everyone one in love come and see.  I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins.  If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head in with a club?"

 

(In the Basilica) "Love dictates to me as I write and Cupid shows me the way, but may I die if god should wish me to go on without you."

 

(House of Poppaeus Sabinus) "If you felt the fires of love, mule-driver, you would make more haste to see Venus.  I love a charming boy; I ask you, goad the mules; let’s go.  Take me to Pompeii, where love is sweet.  You are mine…"

 

(Bar/Inn in Herculaneum) "Two friends were here. While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus.  They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores."

 

(Herculaneum bar, written next to a crude drawing of a penis) "Handle with care." 

 

(Herculaneum Bar) "Apelles Mus and his brother Dexter each pleasurably had sex with two girls twice."

 

(Atrium of a brothel) "Blondie has taught me to hate dark-haired girls.  I shall hate them, if I can, but I wouldn’t mind loving them.  Pompeian Venus Fisica wrote this."

 

(House of the Moralist) "Remove lustful expressions and flirtatious tender eyes from another man’s wife; may there be modesty in your expression."

 

(Corridor of a theater) "Methe, slave of Cominia, from Atella, loves Chrestus.  May Pompeian Venus be dear to both of them and may they always live in harmony."

 

(House of the Vibii, Merchants)"Figulus loves Idaia."

 

(House of Caesius Valens and Herennius Nardus) "Rufus loves Cornelia Hele"

 

(In the basilica) "No young buck is complete until he has fallen in love."

 

(In the basilica) "If you are able, but not willing, why do you put off our joy and kindle hope and tell me always to come back tomorrow.  So, force me to die since you force me to live without you.  Your gift will be to stop torturing me.  Certainly, hope returns to the lover what it has once snatched away."

 

(House of Valerius Flaccus and Valerius Rufinus) "Daphnus was here with his Felicia."

 

(Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio)"Weep, you girls.  My penis has given you up.  Now it penetrates men’s behinds.  Goodbye, wondrous femininity!"

 

(House of Fabius Rufus) "The kisses that I stole you demand back, beautiful girl: Take back what I stole (and not I alone!): Love me! Whoever loves, may prosper!"

 

Two men bicker over a woman on the wall of a bar...

 

Severus: "Successus, a weaver, loves the innkeeper’s slave girl named Iris.  She, however, does not love him.  Still, he begs her to have pity on him.  His rival wrote this."

 

Successes: "Envious one, why do you get in the way?  Submit to a handsomer man and one who is being treated very wrongly and good looking.”

 

Severus: “I have spoken.  I have written all there is to say.  You love Iris, but she does not love you.”

 

(Thought to be addressed to one woman from another) "Oh I wish I could hold you with my arms around your neck and give kisses to your soft lips! Go now, entrust your joys to the winds, girl. Beleive me, shallow is the nature of men. Often, as I stayed awake in despair in the middle of the night, contemplating these things in my mind: many whom Fortune raised high, then she crushes them, thrown away head foremost. Thus, as soon as Venus united the bodies of the lovers, does sunlight separate them and...(the rest is no longer legible)

 

 

Ancient Roman trolling...

 

 

 

(House of the Citharist, below a drawing of a man with a huge nose)"Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you.  Salvius wrote this."

 

(Tavern of Verecundus) “Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates”.

 

(Vestibule of an inn) "The finances officer of the emperor Nero says this food is poison."

 

(Next to the door of a pottery shop) "Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone!’

 

(Next to the door of an inn for muledrivers) "We have pissed on the beds, host. I confess we have done wrong. If you want to know why, there was no chamber pot."

 

(In the basilica) "Phileros is a eunuch!"

 

(In the basilica) "O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin."

 

(On the exterior of a house) "Apollinaris, the doctor of the emperor Titus, shat well here."

 

(In the basilica) "The man I am having dinner with is a barbarian."

 

(In the basilica) "Virgula to her friend Tertius: you are disgusting!"

 

(In the basilica) "Samius to Cornelius: go hang yourself!"

 

(In the basilica) "Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!"

 

(Street of Abundance) "Oppius, you're a clown, a thief, and a petty crook."

 

(Street of Abundance) "The petty thieves request the election of Vatia as aedile." (Aediles were magistrates. One of their duties was being in charge of the police)

 

"Lucius Popidis Ampliatus, son of Lucius, for aedile: Supported by his client Montanus in conjunction with the brigands."

 

"The boss isn't worth a rat's arse!"

 

"All the late night drinkers support Marcus Cerrinius Vatia to be aedile!"

 

 

Random stuff..

 

 

 

(Street of the Theaters)  "A copper pot went missing from my shop.  Anyone who returns it to me will be given 65 sestercii.  20 more will be given for information leading to the capture of the thief."

 

(Walls of a latrine) "Secundus shat here." (repeated three times)

 

“Nothing can last for ever; once the sun has shone, it returns beneath the sea. The moon, once full, eventually wanes, the violence of the winds often turns into a light breeze.”

 

"Marcus Terentius Eudoxus always supports his friends alone, he keeps them and watches over them, he supports them in every way."

 

"There's no place here for idle ones. Go away, loiterer."

 

"The liar says hello to the truthful one, wherever he is."

 

"Rufa, be well because you do good fellatio."

 

"Crescens, whatever rival fucks my girlfriend, let a bear eat him in remote mountains."

 

(On the wall of a tavern) "We two men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus."

 

"Traveler you eat bread in Pompeii but go to Nuceria to drink. At Nuceria, the drinking is better."

[A Crusty Knight Of Colour]

I've seen this, on /v/ funnily enough. Romans were the first shitposters and the world was their imageboard.

Vale.

[Jorji Costava]

On a somewhat related topic, the ancient Greek statues were apparently painted, often in garish colors. Ultraviolet light was used to reconstruct how some of these ancient statues might have been painted:

 

 

[Aimi]

Yeah. That colored version of the Prima Porta Avgvstvs is at the escalator on the way up into the Vatican Museum from the security checkpoint. IIRC, there's a little disclaimer about the colors, the usual boilerplate about disputes over the exact shades of the paints used, but AFAIK (and I'm far from an expert) Brinkmann's case for the colors he uses is pretty tight.

[L. Han]

Casey Hudson has said that the Mass Effect title was the result of some off-the-cuff random brainstorming by Doctor Z; the ME team 'went with it' because they didn't like any of the other titles they could come up with. (Star Citadel, anyone?)

The thing is, "mass effect" as a term has actually been around for quite a while in the military, specifically in artillery tactics.

I have to wonder, though, what in-setting soldiers and historians thought about the new scientific concept's name.

 

Interesting. Mass FX is also a tool in 3DSMAX (3d modelling, rendering, and basic animation software). Mass Effect was also called 'SFX' before the team agreed on a new name. Both names are quite similar with 3 syllabus.