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[Invisible Man]

thus far I have half an outline, and a title. "a Tale of Twisted Cities: the Rise of Becket" book 1.

[Peregrinus]

They're also in the codex, just as a side note.

I know, Bethgael.  I just like reading them on the stylized cards. They look neat.   

[GODzilla]

Stumbled across this looking around, pt it on my Steam wishlist.

 

Thought some here might like a look.

 

http://ethancartergame.com/

 

It's on my wishlist, too. Game is said to be quite short and the gameplay elements are not that complex either. But the technique with which they did the visuals is amazing. This game redefines what "almost photorealistic" means.

 

Here is an article about how they did it:

 

http://www.theastron...g-ethan-carter/

[Invisible Man]

here's the very first paragraph, I would just like some honest feedback, so I can judge if I've lost my touch or not.

Chapter I

A Kingdom falls, or does it?

It’s a warm winter’s night, though it had been an unusually warm winter. But, still the chilly dim blue light caste by the moon, it simply made the landscape laid out before me, seem to be covered by a layer of ghostly frost. I found a chill running through my body, a chill not of wind or temperature, but of sight. For some reason I found this scene of nature so unnerving, as I stare at my reflection, and through my reflection to the ghostly forest, covered by ghostly frost, I feel like an ill omen is staring me in the face. The warn lines tracing my face, the dark shoulder length hair, with a few remaining traces of the dated part in the center, the tired eyes, cold blue in color, seeming to stair back into mine. My train of thought is interrupted by footsteps, not the quiet steps of a servant, nor the mocking steps of nobility, but the metal steps of a knight.

“Becket… messenger Becket!” I hear as I turn on my heel, to confront the interloper stepping on my inner dialogue.

“Knight captain Mitchell, of the king’s personal guard. Why are you delivering notes from court? Not that I mind the opportunity to… chat with such a striking young woman such as yourself.”

Knight Captain Carron Mitchell, she was the first woman to be knighted into the king’s royal guard, and also the first female knight captain of the aforementioned kings guard. Either accomplishment would be more than notable, but put both together, and you have an individual more than merely exceptional. and seeing how she wears heavy chainmail & plate, it should silence complaints about women in the military. She isn’t as tall and stocky as you may expect, more slender and agile than you might think, though if you misjudge her form for one that lacks muscle, you’d be sorely mistaken, and I mean sorely. She stands about 5’ 8” tall, stunning green eyes, shimmering like emeralds in the dancing candlelight, fierce red hair, tied into a simple yet elegant ponytail, tied in that fashion only because it’s practical to her. Her facial features are soft and slightly narrow, almost elfish in nature. And the faded scar running under her right ear, & along her jaw line, down to her chin somehow completes her appearance. Those who see fiery red hair, also seem to assume she is fiery by nature. She was always calm, calculating, & methodical… I would go so far as to call her cunning, if that didn’t grant an era of underhanded nefariousness.

“Becket… stop daydreaming” my mental dialogue once again interrupted, this time by cold metal fingertips tapping my cheek. “sorry” I replied quickly, “it’s been a hard week’s travel, over open country no less, I’m just tired”

---edit
the second batch of that is still very rough.

[Peregrinus]

Your writing reminds of  me of Asimov or maybe even Stephen King.  It feels very sci-fi , almost ethereal.. like a out of body experience being told.  It's very unique and detailed.  I don't think anyone here is a spelling/grammar nazi except maybe Bethgael.     

 

P.S  You, Cyan and I seem to have very different writing styles which will be a strength if we ever somehow end up collaborating together on something later.    

[Invisible Man]

and I alter it a little every time I re-read it, as I like my sentences to flow easily, they usually don't at first.

[Peregrinus]

and I alter it a little every time I re-read it, as I like my sentences to flow easily, they usually don't at first.

Oh, I love your title  btw. 

[Peregrinus]

I wrote a light hearted piece for everyone to enjoy.  I hope you like it. 

 

Spoiler

Night of the Rabbit

 

Bella Harpell really enjoyed being fluffy. Her rabbit form afforded her freedoms her human body could not give her. Her white and greyish coat was luxurious  and she loved cleaning herself just so she could feel the soft fur on her body. The big advantage of it of course was that she could be very stealthy and eavesdrop on conversations without being noticed.

She had perfected the polymorph spell to a degree where the spell no longer started affecting her ability to remember her true form or the sensations of being in either self. Bella chuckled to herself at the discomfort of the Lords in their fuzzy selves. She grinned childishly to herself at the usual complaints especially from the wizard Khelben Blackstaff Arunsun. He was so serious all the time, so she couldn’t help but chuckle at his discomfort as he scratched himself. He was not quite used to having fur. The wizard definitely felt out of place in his rabbit form. Maybe he felt vulnerable due to him not being able to cast spells while changed or perhaps he felt that the form obscured his masculinity. Bella was simply the host, a timekeeper so she managed to amuse herself in the complaints while the Lords discussed various issues and edicts that involved various factions in Faerun.

 

Bella remembered back to when she had managed to trap one of Manshoon’s clones into a rabbit form while Elminster threw him into the gnome’s magical wooden sphere. Now, she felt the presence of the magic sphere once again. Unknown thieves had stolen the sphere hoping to free Manshoon’s clone from it without any avail. It had powerful magicks imbued upon it and only Elminster and a few others knew how to unravel that dimensional space within the orb.  (Author’s note: Manshoon, a powerful archmagi formerly of the Zhentarim)

 

The black rabbit was not pleased at all. He did not know how long he had been trapped inside the orb. Manshoon the cute fluffy black rabbit was itchy.. He rubbed behind his ear with his back foot and thought about a another lost opportunity to escape his now prison. He had to admit Elminster was a clever old man. The puzzle lock outside the orb could only be opened by a bard. Being a warlord, he didn’t know of any willing bards that would allow him to go free. Manshoon wasn’t a weakling.. but there was only so much a strong evil rabbit could do.. He squinted in frustration and squeaked out a cry of rage. The other rabbits stayed away from him but they seem to giggle a bit at his despair. Nothing seemed to make sense in this place.. He could speak still but spells simply did not work or did not work like it should.. He was trapped and couldn’t cause harm to anything within the orb.  He had managed to catch one of the rabbits to question it and had accidentally strangled it to death. Ever since then, the rabbits gave him a wide berth.. Manshoon was unsure if they were truly rabbits or transformed like him. There was just no way to tell.. Was the orb bordering on a faerie realm?  The meadow spread out for miles, and then beyond it, green hills and bountiful fruit trees.. Fields of wheat beyond that, and then more of what seemed like a cheery always summer like forests. All of the damn creatures could also speak but he could never get them to say anything that would be useful to him. He could hear the voices outside the orb as the meadows shook. This place was affected by outside forces. Someone was shaking the damn orb again.  Manshoon shook his head in frustration and sat down on his hind legs.  His ears pointed downwards, his big red eyes glazed over by boredom..

[Invisible Man]

I wrote a light hearted piece for everyone to enjoy. I hope you like it.

Night of the Rabbit[/size]

Bella Harpell really enjoyed being fluffy. Her rabbit form afforded her freedoms her human body could not give her. Her white and greyish coat was luxurious and she loved cleaning herself just so she could feel the soft fur on her body. The big advantage of it of course was that she could be very stealthy and eavesdrop on conversations without being noticed. [/size]
She had perfected the polymorph spell to a degree where the spell no longer started affecting her ability to remember her true form or the sensations of being in either self. Bella chuckled to herself at the discomfort of the Lords in their fuzzy selves. She grinned childishly to herself at the usual complaints especially from the wizard Khelben Blackstaff Arunsun. He was so serious all the time, so she couldn’t help but chuckle at his discomfort as he scratched himself. He was not quite used to having fur. The wizard definitely felt out of place in his rabbit form. Maybe he felt vulnerable due to him not being able to cast spells while changed or perhaps he felt that the form obscured his masculinity. Bella was simply the host, a timekeeper so she managed to amuse herself in the complaints while the Lords discussed various issues and edicts that involved various factions in Faerun. [/size]

Bella remembered back to when she had managed to trap one of Manshoon’s clones into a rabbit form while Elminster threw him into the gnome’s magical wooden sphere. Now, she felt the presence of the magic sphere once again. Unknown thieves had stolen the sphere hoping to free Manshoon’s clone from it without any avail. It had powerful magicks imbued upon it and only Elminster and a few others knew how to unravel that dimensional space within the orb. (Author’s note: Manshoon, a powerful archmagi formerly of the Zhentarim)[/size]

The black rabbit was not pleased at all. He did not know how long he had been trapped inside the orb. Manshoon the cute fluffy black rabbit was itchy.. He rubbed behind his ear with his back foot and thought about a another lost opportunity to escape his now prison. He had to admit Elminster was a clever old man. The puzzle lock outside the orb could only be opened by a bard. Being a warlord, he didn’t know of any willing bards that would allow him to go free. Manshoon wasn’t a weakling.. but there was only so much a strong evil rabbit could do.. He squinted in frustration and squeaked out a cry of rage. The other rabbits stayed away from him but they seem to giggle a bit at his despair. Nothing seemed to make sense in this place.. He could speak still but spells simply did not work or did not work like it should.. He was trapped and couldn’t cause harm to anything within the orb. He had managed to catch one of the rabbits to question it and had accidentally strangled it to death. Ever since then, the rabbits gave him a wide berth.. Manshoon was unsure if they were truly rabbits or transformed like him. There was just no way to tell.. Was the orb bordering on a faerie realm? The meadow spread out for miles, and then beyond it, green hills and bountiful fruit trees.. Fields of wheat beyond that, and then more of what seemed like a cheery always summer like forests. All of the damn creatures could also speak but he could never get them to say anything that would be useful to him. He could hear the voices outside the orb as the meadows shook. This place was affected by outside forces. Someone was shaking the damn orb again. Manshoon shook his head in frustration and sat down on his hind legs. His ears pointed downwards, his big red eyes glazed over by boredom..[/size]

nice story, I like.
---edit
started this post from scratch again... finally, why was quoting that so hard?

[Peregrinus]

I nabbed this off Google +.  It made me giggle.  

Spoiler

 

[Invisible Man]

as you can tell by my updated post, my stories tend to be long.

[Peregrinus]

as you can tell by my updated post, my stories tend to be long.

Nothing wrong with length of a story long as it's interesting.  Your build up is killin me.. write some more please.  lol    

[Peregrinus]

I thought I would share some peaceful landscape with you guys/gals.  Another night of insomnia it seems.  

Spoiler

 

[Jackal19851111]

I just came back from the movies and saw this. I read it about four minutes ago and only typing now because I can breathe again. That was funny. Oh.. it just hit me and kind of summarized what our buying experience turned out with Bioware this last time around. Oh... how I would take the best snippets and make a powerpoint presentation that would endlessly cycle these quotes on a large screen in the developers lounge. A reminder that we're capable of making mistakes and that we're not entitled based on the reputations of those before us.

 

That is... perfect.

 

Just came back from work and I'm exhausted. Has "Bioware" resurrected Bioware yet? Or still doing damage control and hiding?

[Peregrinus]

That is... perfect.

 

Just came back from work and I'm exhausted. Has "Bioware" resurrected Bioware yet? Or still doing damage control and hiding?

I think they are back to ignore mode.

[Jackal19851111]

Time will tell I guess, but no eggs on that basket.

[Peregrinus]

Time will tell I guess, but no eggs on that basket.

Welcome back from work.  here ya go.     as promised. 

 

[Jackal19851111]

Cheers!

 

Think I'm going to take a nap, no one wanted to work today as its Sunday and in 40'C heat. So I had to pick up everyone's slack... grrr!

[Bethgael]

I'd kill for a coffee right now, but it's too damned hot.

/does quick calculation from celsius.

 

108F-odd, with 78% humidity. It's long-hair-curls weather, at least That's a plus. /eyeroll
 

[Jackal19851111]

Yeah was about to add, the coffee just needs ICE lol

 

[Peregrinus]

I'd kill for a coffee right now, but it's too damned hot.

/does quick calculation from celsius.

 

108F-odd, with 78% humidity.
 

Ow, it's 28 C here and snow/ice on the ground.  

 

[Peregrinus]

Yeah was about to add, the coffee just needs ICE lol

 

lol, you beat me to it, Mr. Ninja!