256 réponses à ce sujet

[Kinsz]

Everyone's eyes wonder. I never said bisexual meant promiscuous. I would prefer my li not desire/be attracted to men since I am a woman. If my statement implied otherwise it was not intended.

You shouldnt justify yourself to anyone , some people go out looking for reasons to be offended , best to not even acknowledge them.

 

Anyways i would date a bi woman only because of the possibility of threesomes being there   but i understand why someone else wouldnt do it because you not only have to worry about other guys hitting on your girl but other ladies as well.

[vertigomez]

Folks being biphobic in threads that ain't even about bisexuality.

*throws uuuup*

[Incantrix]

No one can make anyone date someone they don't want to date, but that doesn't mean you need to perpetuate damaging stereotypes about people in order to justify your prejudice. Specifically in this case that bisexual men are inherently incapable of being faithful and are sex obsessed and duplicitous. That's a problem and is inexcusable.

 

Personally, I've dated a bi guy...who was screwing this chick behind my back for a good 4 months before I found out about it. I was pretty bitter about it but I never swore off bi guys off one guy. 

 

However, if guys have that "fear" then I won't antagonize them. We all have our preferences. It's the same preferences as to why people don't date certain races and such. It took me a while to except that fact but now I except it and I pretty much just say "it's their loss". 

 

Anyway, I think we're deviating from the topic at hand now lol. 

[Hazegurl]

IMO Iron Bull is ridiculous.. his head is too small for his body and he looks like a Minotaur. So unless you like bestiality, he is a complete yuck in my book.

 

Dorian on the other hand.......wait, females can't romance him, so never mind.....

IB is a monstrosity to look at in his current design. Body, head, and horns are all awful, it's like his designer just couldn't freaking stop. Hopefully someone will mod him.  Also, I think they did something wrong with the Qunari bodies in this game, although IB's problem extends beyond just his body.  The males are too big and hunched over. If only BW gave us body sliders.

 

And I'm sure mods will "fix" Dorian as well. If you really want to play a female and date him. Just have to give it time.

 

**side note: Dorian/Cullen   Now if that happened in game. I would romance the daylights out of Solas just to hear the convos about that.

[Ryzaki]

This thread shows what books like Twlight and fitty shades of grey have done to distort people's views on what a healthy relationship is to them.

In fact, I would clasfiy it as an emotional abusesive relationship, since it's starts when Dorian is drunk and not able to consent which is clasfiyed as rape in America. The most noteable case like this that happened here was in Stebuenvill, Ohio.

However, I also think it's stupid to suggest that someone is wrong in feeling uncomfortable with the two in a realationship I too felt like I needed to point out that a person does not have to be a wall flower to be in an abusevise realationship.

I have a good narrative essay to show what I mean about the relationship http://m.psychologyt...nce-in-twilight it is using the Bella Edward paring though the samething could be said about the Dorian and Bull realationship.

All though he doesn't isolate Dorian ect but he can still be consider abusive if three or more things are noticed,

 

Oh god the drunk defense. Just not mine.

 

 

first of all, dorian never says that he was the only one drinking. “it was an ill-considered night after drinking.” i’m pretty sure the implication here is that they were both drunk. which, ok, maybe some of you arent happy with that, which is why i have two other points.

the fact that he uses the phrase “ill-considered” shows that he knew what he was getting into, he decided to do it anyway. it means badly thought out - as in, “i thought about it, made my own conscious decision to do it anyway, even knowing it might be a bad idea.” it was dorian’s choice. he’s an extremely intelligent man with a wide vocabulary, do you really think he would use that term if it happened against his will? or if he knew that he got talked into it while in a vulnerable state? no. he would say so, if that were the case. he didnt say so. that should be that.

lastly, do you really think that iron bull, asks the inquisitor three times if they want to have sex, and leaves without a single objection if they say no, would purposefully get dorian into a state where he cant think clearly and then try to coerce him into having sex? if so, you seriously need to replay this game and reevaluate the characters.

 

Seriously please stop this Dorian was drunk and Bull dragged him in a corner (while he was perfectly sober mind) and then decided to rape him.

 

• Iron Bull: So, Dorian, about last night…
• Dorian: (Sighs) Discretion isn’t your thing, is it?
• Iron Bull: Three times! Also, your silky underthings, do you want them back, or did you leave those like a token? Or…wait, did you “forget” them so you’d have an excuse to come back? You sly dog!
• Dorian: If you choose to leave your door unlocked like a savage, I may or may not come.
• Iron Bull: Speak for yourself.

Just really? Having drunken sex doesn't auto make it rape.

 

Also lmfao show me where Bull is obviously jealous/possessive of Dorian and tries to force commitment from him. I'll wait. You say he has to meet three of them right? I don't even see him meeting one. Bull's banter shows him clearly letting Dorian set the pace of their relationship.

[Panda]

Umm what is happening in this thread o.O

 

I don't see any things that would be about the OP anymore.

[Catwall]

Ryz, don't bother with providing in-game evidence for your arguments. That's far too rational. As we've seen, the best arguments don't go anywhere near what the parties in question actually say or do. Instead they focus on Ohio consent laws somehow applying to Thedas and pop psych checklists of problematic relationship dynamics.

 

If it was possible to OD on non sequiturs,  this thread would have me in rehab.

[Ryzaki]

Ryz, don't bother with providing in-game evidence for your arguments. That's far too rational. As we've seen, the best arguments don't go anywhere near what the parties in question actually say or do. Instead they focus on Ohio consent laws somehow applying to Thedas and pop psych checklists of problematic relationship dynamics.

 

If it was possible to OD on non sequiturs,  this thread would have me in rehab.

 

I mean I understand not liking the romance. (Honestly I don't really feel Dorian's abusive to Bull. I just feel they're terrible together. I just feel the need to exaggerate when faced with such stupid). I understand finding it unhealthy. I don't understand calling it rape and abuse because you don't like it.

 

Edited: Especially trying to compare it to relationships you've seen others have that were abusive. We see? What snippets? Plus there's a ****** compassion spirit right above Bull's head. But what? Cole just shoves his head up his ass when his friends are being abusive and being subjected to abuse? GTFO what that stupid ****.

[Br3admax]

Just really? Having drunken sex doesn't auto make it rape.

I've taken enough pointless "classes" in college to say this is false. 

 

But seriously, who cares? I don't care enough about what Iron Bull or Dorian are doing to form an opinion on them sleeping with each other. It's not my job to fix their lives or be their mother/father. 

[Ryzaki]

I've taken enough pointless "classes" in college to say this is false. 

 

But seriously, who cares? I don't care enough about what Iron Bull or Dorian are doing to form an opinion on them sleeping with each other. It's not my job to fix their lives or be their mother/father. 

 

So if two drunk people have sex they raped each other? Seriously? Cause Bull drinks plenty as well.

[Steelcan]

So if two drunk people have sex they raped each other? Seriously? Cause Bull drinks plenty as well.

no, whoever initiated the sex is the rapist, because if both people are drunk they are clearly going to remember this and not try and shift blame away from themselves

[Br3admax]

So if two drunk people have sex they raped each other? Seriously?

Apparently. Mostly when dudes do it. I didn't earn this badge without being rape-privy.

 

 

 

[ERINII]

Well actually, yes, I mind it. Not for the same reasons as the OP, though. In general I don't like seeing LI's hooking up, because well, they're supposed to be available for my character only //laughs// Maybe it sounds silly but that's just the way it is. Sometimes I won't even recruit certain characters just to prevent them from hooking up with a former LI, which I really dislike doing, so I kind of wish that BW would stop doing that. If they want side romances, do it with NPCs instead or something. Leave my character's harem alone.

[Ryzaki]

no, whoever initiated the sex is the rapist, because if both people are drunk they are clearly going to remember this and not try and shift blame away from themselves

 

 

 

Apparently. Mostly when dudes do it. I didn't earn this badge without being rape-privy.

*snip*

 

XD I'm not sure if I'm amused or baffled. So I guess the take away from that as soon as someone lifts liqueur to their lips I should go "No sex for you!"

[Catwall]

I mean I understand not liking the romance. (Honestly I don't really feel Dorian's abusive to Bull. I just feel they're terrible together. I just feel the need to exaggerate when faced with such stupid). I understand finding it unhealthy. I don't understand calling it rape and abuse because you don't like it.

 

Edited: Especially trying to compare it to relationships you've seen others have that were abusive. We see? What snippets? Plus there's a ****** compassion spirit right above Bull's head. But what? Cole just shoves his head up his ass when his friends are being abusive and being subjected to abuse? GTFO what that stupid ****.

I agree. It just makes me laugh how with all of the actual in-game evidence (dialog between IB/Dorian; dialog between IQ/Dorian, dialog between IQ/IB) that could be used to craft an argument about a relationship being one way or the other, instead we get rubbish non sequitur arguments and superficial comparisons to cultural bête noires like Fifty Shades of Grey and Twilight. As if these relationship dynamics were something recent, and books like Venus in Furs, The Story of O, and Fanny Hill never existed.

 

At this point, I am beginning to think that these threads are the Dragon Age version of a little kid barging into their parent's room while they're having sex and wondering "Why is daddy hurting mommy?"

[Ryzaki]

I agree. It just makes me laugh how with all of the in-game evidence (dialog between IB/Dorian; dialog between IQ/Dorian, dialog between IQ/IB) that could be used to craft an argument about a relationship being one way or the other, instead we get rubbish non sequitur arguments and superficial comparisons to cultural bête noires like Fifty Shades of Grey and Twilight. As if these relationship dynamics were something recent, and books like Venus in Furs, The Story of O, and Fanny Hill never existed.

 

Well to be fair some of the banter had Dorian admitting to being happy with Bull. We can't mention that!

• Cassandra: So, Bull, about Dorian…
• Iron Bull: Yes, it’s true.
• Dorian: By all means let us discuss this together.
• Cassandra: If… you’re both pleased…
• Dorian: I’m happy, he’s happy, everyone’s happy.
• Iron Bull: Aw… you’re happy…
• Dorian: (Sighs.)
• Cassandra: (Laughs.)

Also wasn't the dude's reaction in FSoG to her saying (well emailed it but whatever) she wanted to end it him flipping the hell out and then raping her? Um...

 

As for Twilight dude keeps playing headgames.

 

That said I've never heard of the books you've listed. XD now I want to read them. Are they any good?

 

At this point, I am beginning to think that these threads are the Dragon Age version of a little kid barging into their parent's room while they're having sex and wondering "Why is daddy hurting mommy?"

 

This comparison is beautiful.

[Maiafay]

Are we really doing this again?

 

I personally like the relationship and find nothing wrong with it. Dorian snarks at Bull just as much as Bull does him. It's a typical love/hate dynamic that you see many times in stories. I feel many who have a problem with it are projecting their own issues into the relationship that simply aren't there. Bull seems proud of being with Dorian and while Dorian may be muttering about discretion and his ancestors rolling in their graves, he still keeps going back to Bull. No one is forcing him to. They are both adults and perfectly capable of saying "no". The brief snippet of their time together isn't enough for any sort of conclusion, especially labeling their relationship "abusive".

 

Also, the whole drunk sex = rape argument? *sigh* Then Dorian must have willingly went to Bull for his "raping" multiple times (as he tells the Inquisitor " there was the first time, then the second, and then..." Seriously, I don't get some of the fandom. 

[Catwall]

@ Ryz- Heh, those are all vintage erotic classics- Venus in Furs (1870), The Story of O(1954), and Fanny Hill (1748)- I won't say they're good (YMMV) only that they illustrate that there is nothing new about BDSM and other variations of sexual expression, including the relationship behavior between IB/Dorian. I'm just sick of people thinking that 50 Shades and Twilight are somehow novel in their depictions of this stuff, but that is a tangential point at best, I suppose.

[Panda]

I've taken enough pointless "classes" in college to say this is false. 

 

But seriously, who cares? I don't care enough about what Iron Bull or Dorian are doing to form an opinion on them sleeping with each other. It's not my job to fix their lives or be their mother/father. 

 

I bet this has to be cultural thing cause being drunk and having sex is very usual thing at least in my country. It's reason why lot of people go bars for; to get drunk and laid..

[Br3admax]

It's not a cultural thing. Guys still get chicks drunk to have sex with them in America. What's technically illegal and what will fly in court are two very different things.

[Ryzaki]

Heh, those are all vintage erotic classics- Venus in Furs (1870), The Story of O(1954), and Fanny Hill (1748)- I won't say they're good, only that they illustrate that there is nothing new about BDSM and other variations of sexual expression, including the relationship behavior between IB/Dorian. I'm just sick of people thinking that 50 Shades and Twilight are somehow novel in their depictions of this stuff, but that is a tangential point at best, I suppose.

 

Oooh I see. Damn older than dirt indeed.

 

But no I'm thankful. Its interesting to note.

 

But I'm just baffled as to how many characters the Bull is abusive thing has to break to get to functional and people cling so hard to it. It has to break Bull (why would someone's who's primary fear of becoming a savage mindless brute be abusive? If anything he of all the characters in the game would have the strictest self control), it has to break Dorian ("Sometimes love isn't enough" someone who walks away from past relationships that meant him harm. Turning him into a clingy desperate for love so much he'll apparently let someone treat him like dirt to get it), it has to completely nullify Cole.

 

I mean...there's so much bending here it looks like a goddamn pretzel.

 

 

I bet this has to be cultural thing cause being drunk and having sex is very usual thing at least in my country. It's reason why lot of people go bars for; to get drunk and laid..

 

I always assumed lightly buzzed was fine but wants they start stumbling around all over the place and acting like a lush you were better off depositing them in a chair somewhere. I mean Dorian clearly wasn't blackout drunk if he can remember the incident and it's not something he regretted seeing as he goes back for more time and time again. So the rape comparison is just wut m8.

 

 

It's not a cultural thing. Guys still get chicks drunk to have sex with them in America. What's technically illegal and what will fly in court are two very different things.

 

There's a difference in intentionally getting someone completely smashed with the intention of sleeping with them and 2 people drinking together though. I mean I'm waiting to see where Bull's character is shown to be that predatory. Dorian wasn't blackout drunk either given the ill considered comment.

 

This is the man who loses his eye protecting someone he didn't know from rape. But I'm supposed to believe he liquored Dorian up because he couldn't resist?

[Br3admax]

There's a difference in intentionally getting someone completely smashed with the intention of sleeping with them and 2 people drinking together though. 

Not to the law. But yeah, that's were things like this don't work in court. I just jaywalked, probably dropped a gum wrapper, hit someone I knew on the back of the head. I won't be prosecuted for any of these things. 

[Ryzaki]

Not to the law. But yeah, that's were things like this don't work in court. I just jaywalked, probably dropped a gum wrapper, hit someone I knew on the back of the head. I won't be prosecuted for any of these things. 

 

Fair enough.

[Hazegurl]

Well to be fair some of the banter had Dorian admitting to being happy with Bull. We can't mention that!

• Cassandra: So, Bull, about Dorian…
• Iron Bull: Yes, it’s true.
• Dorian: By all means let us discuss this together.
• Cassandra: If… you’re both pleased…
• Dorian: I’m happy, he’s happy, everyone’s happy.
• Iron Bull: Aw… you’re happy…
• Dorian: (Sighs.)
• Cassandra: (Laughs.)

To be fair, the context of that banter is, once again, Dorian telling everyone to pretty much shut up about it.