Elves never lived forever. You know why? Because they *dont* live forever. Beings that live forever dont STOP living forever. Its kind of covered by that "forever" bit.
I dont doubt they were adapt at manipulating their lifespans through magic, but the idea that they were "tainted" by humans is probably part in parcel as to why they got their asses whupped into submission (by whom exactly is up for historical debate).
You're just arguing semantics. If a being is able to forever "manipulate lifespans" by merely existing, then they're immortal. This isn't completely out of left field in the DA universe. Darkspawn are functionally immortal, because they get their sustenance from the Blight. The elves functioned the same way, only they got their sustenance from the Fade. This is why magic was like breathing for them. They didn't have to draw power from the Fade to cast spells, it was just with them.
Look, i dont know how much clearer i can make this point but if you failed to pick up on the fact that a lot of dragon age involves coming to your own conclusions in how the writing is done, then thats your issue not mine. I for one however have a less flattering view of elves.
Oh and that part about spirits and gods? Spirits arent viewed as creators. The elven gods are, to the elves at least. I view that as an outright falsehood. Just like with the maker.
It's not about flattering or not, it's that there is historical truths which can be established about elves which are echoed in legend. Inquisition moved us several steps forward in what we can say is established versus what is just legend. A lot of that new history isn't flattering, so I'm not sure why you're choosing this other stuff as your sticking points. Denying that a lot of magical technology comes from elves or that they once had a kind of immortality just makes you look biased.