The following post is my love letter to Bioware for helping me so much in the past.
Several years ago (around 2011-12) I was in a really bad place. It was my freshman year of highschool and I was dealing with hardcore suicidal tendencies. Mostly stemming from feelings of inadequency in social situations, as I had no clue how to interact alogn with a general lack of confidence. My honors class grades were circling the bowl as I was simultaniously struggling with insomnia. Allthough I had a close relationship with my immediate family (siblings and parents), I still dealt with extreme emotional issues regarding my death. Stress wold eventually build up until it culminated in an attempt to take my own life. Thankfully, I was interrupted partway through preparations and was taken to a psychiatrist. While the appointment did manage to aleviate some of my personal pain, I still had a swath of psychological problems.
I have always loved science-fiction. Not the hard scifi with realistic travel and proper physics, but rather the F/X pulp present in the Hyperion Cantos, Fifth Element, Blade Runner, and Starcraft. Practically raised on Star Trek and Heinlein. So you can imagine my interest when after a visit with my doctor I entered a game retailer with my brothe and saw a copy of Mass Effect sitting on the shelf. With a cover straight out of sixties pulp novels I decided to buy the game (the store has never been big on checkign IDs 
). Coming home I hit into my 360 and was immediatly enthralled. Never before had I seen a universe so richly detailed or well written. Finishing the game in only a week, I went out and bought the sequel.
Now what comes next may seem corny, but it is what actually happened to me. After being invested in a the intricate friendships Shepard makes throughout the two games, I realized once again how alone i truly was. Seeing a man with my face that could inspire others so easily, made me acknowledge my own ineffectual relationships. Rediscovering these details about my self led me to deciding to once again attempt to make friends, some thing I had once given up hope of having. Now here is the cheesy part: It was those two games that made me succeed making the first freinds in my life. Deciding to model some of my behavior after the commander,I put on a facade of confidence that surprisingly worked. Now in my senior year I possess a extremely close-knit group of friendships.
Making friends certainly helped with my depression, but I still felt the urge to cut my wrists and get it over with. However, the release of ME3 was nearing toward me. Electing to beat the the concluding installemtn in my all time favorite game (trilogy) series before I made any rash descisions, I waited. Now, I know that many of you hated the ending of ME3, but realize thate was simly the final 15 minutes of the game. The rest was, to me, perfect. I am not ashamed to admit that I wept a manly tear at Legion's sacrifice. A character who I so deeply emphasized with for being a person who didn't knwo how to react to the confusing world around him (much like myself), sacrifice himself for the what he beleived, was truly inspiring. Hearing Wrex call me friend was incredibly heartwarming and, at risk of sounding insane for having emotion over a peice of code, very proud. Now about that ending. Having my avatar become so much more than a mere human, and ascend to a higher plane of existence was awe-inspiring. True, it seemed to lack major details, but thats what life is. We all lack knowledge on what will come next, and can merely hope we made the right choice. Knowing that we do die was actually relieving to me. It seemed as if I no longer was fuly compeled to end my life. In time with further help from my psychiatrist, friends, medication and introspection, the worst of my depression subsided tne vanished.
The next Bioware game I would play would be the next year would be the original KOTOR. Apart from being set in one of my favorite universes, it was another game that would help me. In the several monthes prior to the game I had been having difficulties decidigin on what I wished to do with my future and who I was really. Anone who has played the Star Wars masterpiece can say right away that one of the key themes is identity. The player character struggles with the revaltion that he is his own worst enemy, Juhani dealt with her own violent tendencies and potential for evil, Bindo with his past mistakes, and Candorous with the emerging thoughts that his own life had been misspent. At the time being foolosih as I was and seeing all those around me with a definite plan for their future, I thought I was the only one without a clue. Influenced by Star Wars (who hasn't been, really?) I was able to think clearly about future plans, without overstressing. Once again the themes of a Bioware game helped guide me.
My final Bioware games came in the last six months. Excited for the release of DAI, I decided to work my way through the Dragon Age games. Although Origins was fun, and incredibly well written, it was DA2 that truly grabbed my attention. My most underated game of the last generation, it made me even more emotional than ME3 had. In each of the companions I saw a piece of myself. Fenris had my hate of the world when I believed it hated me. Anders had my wish for others to understand my pain. Aveline reminded myself of bothing the experiance of being with my first girlfriend and the later painful breakup. Carver ad the envy and Merril the pride. Each of the characters seeming so tailored to my own psych was an enlightening experiance and where I was and had how far I've come from a suicidal young teen hoping to escape the pain. Not to mention the horror of having Hawke's mother die, the week a friend of mine's actual mother passed away. In short the game helped me realize more of who I was.
Finally, it comes to game this post was written in the subsection for: Draogn Age Inquisition. Due to college coming up, a need for more time at my job, 4 AP Exams (my, my, havent the grades improved since freshman year), I have decided to quit gaming until at least July (possibly even longer). I had planning on taking the haitus for quite some time, as soon as I finished my DAI. Having finished it last week, let me just say that it was the right game for me to go out on. Seeing how time had passed in the world was an emotional experiance. Heartwarming to hear that Morrigan and the Warden were still in contact, heartwrenching to hear Hawke's despair, and heartbreaking to find out my favorite companion's dark past. Sure the ending was actually dissapointing, but it doesn't change the fact that the game was pure service. Each moment was a clever sendup to the preivious works; from Solas's shedding light on preiviously clouded events, Varric answering plot holes in DA2, and providing the most heartwarmng romance ever (Josephine/Cullen 
). The gameplay was great, and acheived a feeling of immersion I had only felt in one other game. It truly made me realize why I am so grateful to the developers.
So in conclusion, let me just say thank you. Thank you Bioware for all your help in my life. You gave me the courage to finally make friends. WIthout you guys I may not even be here right now. With your help I recovered my academic ability, and am now in several APs. With your encouragment I discovered who I was: Me. Thank you. I am infinitly and eternally gratefull for your help.
Edit: Damn, just realized I misspelled experience
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