Confusing DA for ME2.
Or are you talking about ME
Talking about ME2.
Drinkquisition! (assuredly nsfw)
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Guest_Roly Voly_*
, janv. 31 2015 04:30
#29176
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:40
Ashaantha
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Retour en haut
#29177
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:43
Lynroy: Final Edition
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Don't let go.We're tied by fate, sister
Spoiler
*drinks* I hope this is not the end of the DQ *shiver*
- Tragedienne of Heavens aime ceci
#29178
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:43
Roamingmachine
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Guys I'm still feeling shaky from the 9th Game of Thrones episode.
Spoiler
Wtf Stannis.
Stannis is a nut. At least that much is consistent with the books 
Before or after getting IFF? was trying to finish the crew's personal quests only.
Kinda sorta spoilerish. Nothing about what happens, just what triggers things to happen.
Spoiler
- LightningPoodle aime ceci
#29179
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:45
Ashaantha
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Stannis is a nut. At least that much is consistent with the books
Kinda sorta spoilerish. Nothing about what happens, just what triggers things to happen.
Spoiler
Ah all good, I was making sure I was done before going to get the IFF. I hazarded a guess that the IFF was the point of no return lol
#29180
Guest_Donkson_*
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:47
Guest_Donkson_*
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But I haven't done such thing
the post they mentioned is from the DQ (can't imagine which one though)
Uh oh...
#29181
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:47
Lynroy: Final Edition
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Used an * in place of a vowel to bypass the filter. It also happened to be about ME3 ending. Coincidence? I think not because Traggy's post was also about ME3 ending. I smell conspiracy.....Why? O_O *gets paranoid*
#29182
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:49
Lynroy: Final Edition
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WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?Guys I'm still feeling shaky from the 9th Game of Thrones episode.
Spoiler
Wtf Stannis.
- Lebanese Dude aime ceci
#29183
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:49
Roamingmachine
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Used an * in place of a vowel to bypass the filter.
What the actual f**k? Lol, if DQ gets shut down for petty crap like that i won't even care if i get banned. Rest of BSN can suck MileyChicken
- Tragedienne of Heavens aime ceci
#29184
Guest_Donkson_*
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:52
Guest_Donkson_*
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What the actual f**k? Lol, if DQ gets shut down for petty crap like that i won't even care if i get banned. Rest of BSN can suck MileyChicken
Hear, hear.
I will protest. I will boycott the BSN. I will put MileyChicken in my avatar, and change my identity to "MileyChicken". Even my sig will contain the name, "MileyChicken." Every single post will feature the MileyChicken, and the only words uttered from my keyboard will be... MileyChicken.
- Roamingmachine, LightningPoodle et Paragonslustre aiment ceci
#29185
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:53
Lynroy: Final Edition
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Read my edit to that post, I explain a bit more.What the actual f**k? Lol, if DQ gets shut down for petty crap like that i won't even care if i get banned. Rest of BSN can suck MileyChicken
#29186
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:56
Roamingmachine
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Read my edit to that post, I explain a bit more.
Ahh, yes. They are a bit touchy about that still. I guess they fear people will bring out the baseball bats and molotov cocktails and turn the boards in to one giant anti-bw riot again like it was back in the dark days of ME3 if they get reminded of it
- Lynroy: Final Edition aime ceci
#29187
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 10:58
Tragedienne of Heavens
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Used an * in place of a vowel to bypass the filter. It also happened to be about ME3 ending. Coincidence? I think not because Traggy's post was also about ME3 ending. I smell conspiracy.
Ok thank you, NOW I know which post it was; funny because I first saw it in the ME forums in an old post, a harmless comic strip from the Escapist, not even Maker forbid! Don't look, Ash
Spoiler
Edit: Plot twist: the account of the guy who posted it is deleted
... however the image is still out there 
Hear, hear.
I will protest. I will boycott the BSN. I will put MileyChicken in my avatar, and change my identity to "MileyChicken". Even my sig will contain the name, "MileyChicken." Every single post will feature the MileyChicken, and the only words uttered from my keyboard will be... MileyChicken.
NOOOO if you get banned I won't get more friendfiction! *terrified*
- Lynroy: Final Edition et Paragonslustre aiment ceci
#29188
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:06
Lynroy: Final Edition
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I triple chicken dare you. *drink*Hear, hear.
I will protest. I will boycott the BSN. I will put MileyChicken in my avatar, and change my identity to "MileyChicken". Even my sig will contain the name, "MileyChicken." Every single post will feature the MileyChicken, and the only words uttered from my keyboard will be... MileyChicken.
#29189
Guest_Donkson_*
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:41
Guest_Donkson_*
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**WE INTERRUPT THE DQ WITH THIS ANNOUNCEMENT**
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND....
INTRODUCTING....
SALT AND DR. PEPPER 2: A SPICY REUNION
By Donkson (previously, HB)
(For those who have not read the original, please click this link and scroll down, until you find the FF section of said post http://forum.bioware...assuredly-nsfw/ )
***
The Iron Roy let out a gasp of pleasure, trying to contain herself as she grinded herself against Dr. Pepper's hard, glass figure.
They had been together for months, but Dr. Pepper had yet to properly make love to her.. the only sexual relief either of them had was limited to headjobs and grinding.. and quite frankly, Roy had had enough.
"I love you." She rasped at Dr. Pepper, as he stood there like an idiot as she humped him.
"I... love you too." He said in that strong, Alistair/Solas-like accent.
"Take me. My body is ready." She said.
He continued to stand like an idiot. "Err.. are you sure?" He asked nervously.
Roy nodded eagerly.
"Okay," He said. "Um.. turn around, and bend over. I'll do you from behind, it'll be easier."
"Why?" She asked, stopping her humping movement, latching her legs around his firm, glass waist.
"In case you haven't notice, I don't have a human penis." He sighed. "I can only ejaculate through my mouth, but first you must take my lid off."
"I won't get pregnant, will I?" Roy said, worried. "I mean.. not that there is anything wrong with that; I'm not ready to have kids yet, is all."
"I don't think I can get you pregnant." Dr. Pepper said, shrugging. "Wait.. that doesn't bother you, does it?"
Roy unlatched her legs, unscrewed his lid and bent over, getting into position for him. "Just shut up and do me. Now!"
Dr. Pepper took a deep breath, bent forward so his neck was aligned with her private parts. Little did he know.. he should have kept his lid on.
***
A few days later, Roy shuffled into the bar looking and feeling like crap. Everything was the same as usual; Voly, who had consulted a blood mage to give him a new disguise as a templar human, was operating the jukebox and trying to impress the ladies with his knowledge of old, lame country music. They just nodded politely while not taking any notice.
Donk was in her own corner, swearing, acting crazy and getting lap dances from hot, naked Asari.
Everything seemed to stop, however, when all the patrons noticed Roy was wearing an ugly brown coat that was far too big for her. She was almost able to use it as a tent.
"What the (censored) are you looking at, huh?" She snarled, then sat down at a table by herself.
Taking the hint, everyone went back to their own business, occasionally whispering and staring at the Roy, horrified at this new.. outfit, she was wearing.
Cabot strolled over. "Hey, you look down. Can I get you a Dr. Pepper?" He asked, politely.
Roy rolled her eyes, and stood up suddenly, using the stand over tactic. "No, you cannot. Just the thought of drinking Dr. Pepper right now makes me sick to my (censored) stomach!" With that, she performed a karate kick square in the nuts, the impact was so huge that Cabot's eyes simply glazed over in shock and he collapsed onto the ground, comatose.
The party stopped, and everyone was looking at the Roy again. "Stop (censored) looking at me, you conniving (censored)!" She yelled again.
She sat down again, and buried her face in her hands. Her face was red and she felt like grabbing a bow and going on a massacre. She couldn't comprehend what was happening to her; she loved Dr. Pepper, so why would the thought of drinking it turn her off so much right now?
And nothing could explain the very large swelling on her pubic bone. God, if anybody saw it.. they would think she'd grown a very large dangly bag overnight.
She had to tell somebody, but who?
Looking around, she spotted Donk. While she liked Donk, there was no way in hell she would tell her. Donk would probably make fun of her relentlessly, then she would be inclined to put an arrow in her arse.
Then there was Voly... wait, no. He has enough problems. First, he had to change his identity to save himself from the embarrassment of giving birth to his own child, not to mention constant harassment about child support for his other "children".
Just like a miracle, Paragon strolled into the bar, with a tray of green cookies in her hands. "Cookies, mateys!" She announced.
Roy spun around, and beckoned to her trustworthy friend. Paragon nodded, handed out cookies to eager patrons, then made her way over.
"Hey mate," She greeted her cheerfully. "What's up? What's with the um.. outfit?"
"Something strange is happening to me," Roy confided, her lips trembling, "I can't drink Dr. Pepper any more, Paragon! And -- and -- I have this weird bulge on my pelvis.. what's going on? Did somebody curse me?"
Paragon stared at her blankly for a few moments. "I don't know what to say."
"Darn it!" Roy hissed, slamming her fist on the table. "You gotta help me!"
Suddenly, Paragon's attention was focused on the entrance to the bar. "Um.. Roy? You might wanna turn around."
Roy rolled her eyes in frustration, then spun around, nearly having a heart attack. Staggering in, was a very drunken Alistair. But he wasn't the handsome prince he once was; oh no, he had developed wrinkles, his hair was frayed and messy, and his teeth were yellow.
He dropped to the floor and crawled on the floor, talking gibberish and asking for a drink.
Roy buried her face in her hand. "Oh god.. not now! Not here!"
"Hey," Paragon said, "Didn't you say he was the king now?"
Perplexed, Roy nodded. "Yeah.. what the hell? He sure doesn't look like a king. I could have sworn I made him king on my playthrough, not a drunken loser. Ugh -- suppose I should go see how he's doing."
Standing up, she made her way over to the drunken mess that was supposed to be Alistair, and almost cringed at the uncomfortable feeling of her bulge bouncing up and down in her pelvic region. It was almost like having a third breast.. she briefly considered making some sort of bra for it.
Before she could reach Alistair, he had passed out. She swore. Unsure of what to do, Cabot ordered the patrons to carry him into the cellars to sleep it off. Hopefully he wouldn't freak out when he woke up.
Giggling mischievously, Maryden suddenly stopped lip syncing to the music playing in the bar and headed to the cellar when she thought people weren't watching. She winked at Donk before disappearing downstairs.
Donk sighed, and turned to the Asari sitting on her lap. "Great, more child support."
"Well... that was interesting." Paragon stated, ramming a green cookie in her mouth. Her eyes were suddenly bloodshot and she had a dopey expression on her face.
"Oh for..." Roy said. "You're high. Screw this (censored), I'm outta here."
Taking off as fast as she could, she headed outside in the cool night air, where it was quiet and peaceful and not full of so many morons.
Her heart seemed to jump and get stuck in her throat when she saw a figure in the distance. Slender, with a potato shaped head.. could it be!?
"SOLAS!!!!!" She yelled, running to get closer to the figure, her abnormal bulge bouncing and slapping her, slowing her down. Out of breath, she dropped to her knees and hugged Solas's legs.
"Greetings." He said to her. His voice was cold, emotionless, almost like he didn't care that he hadn't seen his love for such a long time.
"Where have you been?" Roy suddenly started crying, her emotions running wild. "I don't care that you caused a shitstorm, or helped Corypheus, or caused fades to open and tear apart the world.. or that you're some old god.. I missed you so much! Why did you leave me!?"
"Roy." Solas said quietly, still in that emotionless tone.
Looking up with wet, puppy dog eyes, she sniffled. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?"
"Roy. You are pregnant." He said, gently tapping her bulge with his foot.
TO BE CONTINUED.
- Rel Fexive, Roamingmachine, Lynroy: Final Edition et 8 autres aiment ceci
#29190
Guest_Donkson_*
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:42
Guest_Donkson_*
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Ok thank you, NOW I know which post it was; funny because I first saw it in the ME forums in an old post, a harmless comic strip from the Escapist, not even Maker forbid! Don't look, Ash
Spoiler
Edit: Plot twist: the account of the guy who posted it is deleted
... however the image is still out there
NOOOO if you get banned I won't get more friendfiction! *terrified*
Funny you should mention the friendfiction 
#29191
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:42
Lynroy: Final Edition
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Give me a moment. I totally lost it at the title! ROFLMAO! 
#29192
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:49
Lynroy: Final Edition
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Holy ****, I'm laughing so hard.
- LightningPoodle et Paragonslustre aiment ceci
#29193
Guest_Donkson_*
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:51
Guest_Donkson_*
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Holy ****, I'm laughing so hard.
It's longer than it's supposed to be and I had so much more to add Gotta keep it short and sweet though.
- Lynroy: Final Edition aime ceci
#29194
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:52
Roamingmachine
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FRIEND FICTION!!!!
- Lynroy: Final Edition, Paragonslustre et Ashaantha aiment ceci
#29195
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:54
Tragedienne of Heavens
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**WE INTERRUPT THE DQ WITH THIS ANNOUNCEMENT**
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND....
INTRODUCTING....
SALT AND DR. PEPPER 2: A SPICY REUNION
By Donkson (previously, HB)
-glorious snip-
*Rips open her robes* Here, sign, but be careful with the corset, it's 100% silk...
When is the sequel coming out?! I need to know
- Lynroy: Final Edition, LightningPoodle et Paragonslustre aiment ceci
#29196
Guest_Donkson_*
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:56
Guest_Donkson_*
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*Rips open her robes* Here, sign, but be careful with the corset, it's 100% silk...
When is the sequel coming out?! I need to know
That WAS the sequel.. looks like this will be a trilogy though.
#29197
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:57
Lynroy: Final Edition
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I'm not sure how I feel about this. Ow, ribs.
#29198
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:59
Tragedienne of Heavens
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That WAS the sequel.. looks like this will be a trilogy though.
Don't bullshit me, woman! there's a huge "to be continued" down there!
#29199
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:59
Dieb
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SALT AND DR. PEPPER 2: A SPICY REUNION
By Donkson (previously, HB)
Okay. Now.
What is the opposite of being turned on?
- LightningPoodle aime ceci
#29200
Posté 10 juin 2015 - 11:59
Ashaantha
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Oh cmon Donkson, you can't leave it on a cliffhanger!!
I also need more coffee.. brb
