Went to a random page and pulled out this beauty.
So a few of are wondering.. what is up with the Volus? Where is he? Why is he acting so... odd? Why have so many thread regulars disappeared from the DQ?
The truth is.. well.. it starts with this. I walk into the DQ one day, and nobody is around, people are passed out drunk, and Voly is sitting at the bar alone, drowning his sorrows.
Me: What's up, bro?
Voly: *wheeze* Nothing... just depressed and hoping to drown myself to death.
Me: Cabot! Get us both a round please. Come on, tell your buddy-down under. What's troubling you?
Voly: I don't wanna talk about it, it's embarrassing.
Me: Oh come on man! I know I'm an arse and everything but you know I'd never judge you, right? And you know.. I won't tell a soul. You can trust me.
Voly: *Big long hesitant sigh* ... Fine. I don't know how to say it so I'm just gonna be blunt; I can't get it up any more.
Me: *Speechless*
Voly: Ugh don't look at me like that! Knew I shouldn't have said anything.
Me: It'll be okay mate.. we'll figure this out. *Puts comforting hand on Voly's shoulder.*
Voly: How? I've tried everything.. and I mean EVERYTHING!
Me: Leave it with me.
A few days pass, in which I seek the aid of Morrigan. She was amused and very intent on making fun of the situation, but lucky I never mentioned names. She recommended I find a special, rare herb in the Hinterlands, only found in caves; called Druffyweed.
Druffyweed, like goatweed, you're thinking?
She said yes, but apparently it only works on the male species.
I set out on my journey to find this herb. Eventually finding it, I give it to Voly. He is jumping for joy, and goes on a quest to **** as many women as possible (respecting his privacy, I won't mention names. However one could figure out, seeing as two of them are absent)
A week goes by and he is happy as a pig in ****. But eventually he begins to change.. becomes quiet, reserved, and almost hormonal in his behaviour.. as if... as if... he's a pregnant woman!
Well now folks, it is time to tell the truth as one part of that statement is correct; he WAS pregnant.
......................................................................................
How? You may ask... well apparently that Druffyweed has some serious side effects. While it may boost male sex drive, it also tricks the body into believing it is female at the same time! Who would have thought.. that conniving witch Morrigan neglected to tell me that!
So.. how does a male volus give birth? Well, since there is no "hole" for the brat to pop out, so to speak, it automatically redirects the path through the rectum.
Anyway, enough science.
Voly had to leave.. to a point of donning a disguise.. to cover his pregnancy!
Thus, now it is time to meet the child. He hasn't figured out a name yet.. But he's thinking Beren Jr, though is funny about it since one could turn that to BJ.. which also means ******.
I need more drinks after that.
ToP: OMG she smirked!
Retour en haut
I win again!!
